CalamityJane
 
  2  
Reply Wed 10 Mar, 2010 04:19 pm
@sozobe,
I don't know "Justice" - we're into "Hot Topic" out here - there is absolutely
nothing an adult could wear from that store www.hottopic.com but the kids
love it!

Going back to sports. Jane was good in soccer until she got injured, then she
was afraid and got really bad. She was more on the sidelines then in the game
and her team wasn't too happy about that. When she switched to volleyball,
she started to excel, she loves volleyball and is good at it, so naturally the other
teammates gave her the recognition she lacked in soccer.

If sozlet is really good in her soccer games, the girls will flock to her in no time.
Does she have strength in her arms? Volleyball might be another good sport
for her.
Mame
 
  2  
Reply Wed 10 Mar, 2010 04:27 pm
@sozobe,
Hey soz... my daughter is 32 now but I remember very clearly how her group of girlfriends would take turns ostricizing one of themselves at a time Smile You know, Lisa's turn today, Denise's tomorrow, etc. They are quite mean to each other, and I have no idea why. I grew up with 6 sisters and we didn't go through that with each other, but when I was 11, one of my girlfriend's brothers liked me. Another of our friends had a crush on him. So she told the whole school that I was sleeping with him!!! I have to laugh now, but at the time it really wasn't funny.

And when Denise was 15, her 'friend' Andrea, who came from a troubled home, called up a strip agency and gave Denise's name and info. How we know? We got a call from the strip company asking Denise to come down for an interview! lol She was quite upset about it but when I called Andrea's mom, we both laughed our heads off (not in front of the girls, of course). Very creative, that girl was.

But there you go - a couple of examples of how mean kids can be.

And let's not even talk about the attitude!! There were many days when I didn't even want to go home! I don't have any answers, but maybe a parenting class would be useful?
sozobe
 
  1  
Reply Wed 10 Mar, 2010 04:32 pm
@CalamityJane,
Soccer is her standout so far, she picked up basketball well though towards the end (did well in practices, just couldn't touch the ball enough during games), probably will do better in it later. There is a summer b-ball camp that she wants to go to and I'd expect that by next year's season she'll be significantly better.

Sorry about the injury, that's scary. Did she recover completely?

Volleyball isn't offered until later. Her sports now are soccer, softball (she's OK, last year was her first season and again there was more potential than results), and basketball. Plus football at recess with the boys, evidently she's quite the quarterback.


Meanwhile, A2K vibes at work again, she came home just now (playdate after school) glowing about what a great day she had. Among other things she intervened in a dispute between two girls (not anyone mentioned thus far) and brokered peace, with the help of a super-cute boy everyone has a crush on. (She started it, he stepped in and backed her up.) O and Em continued their dirty-looking but Kay saw it and gave them a "wtf" look back (before that nobody else has seen it, they've been sneaky). Other stuff too. Anyway, yay for good days.
CalamityJane
 
  3  
Reply Wed 10 Mar, 2010 04:47 pm
@sozobe,
She had broken her middle finger, nothing too big, but she could not get passed the fear anymore, so soccer was out from then on.

I am glad, sozlet had a great day today - it elevates a mother's heart, doesn't it?
One of the hardest things a mother has to endure, is seeing her child in pain (emotional) where there is absolutely nothing you can do. We all want our children to be popular, the best they can be and seeing them crushed on the
sidelines, is gut wrenching.
0 Replies
 
CalamityJane
 
  1  
Reply Wed 10 Mar, 2010 04:49 pm
@Mame,
Ohmygosh, that's so funny. I bet the stripper club was just as surprised to hear that this up and coming star dancer is only 15. Laughing
0 Replies
 
Seed
 
  1  
Reply Wed 10 Mar, 2010 04:49 pm
@sozobe,
I CAN'T wait for my daughter to get that age.......... Rolling Eyes Rolling Eyes Drunk
0 Replies
 
Linkat
 
  2  
Reply Wed 10 Mar, 2010 04:52 pm
@sozobe,
Nice that on my daughter's school team my hubby is the coach. Also nice is he encourages the better players to make opportunties for their lesser team members to get the ball and the opportunity to shoot for a basket. Just the other night one these girls did make her first basket! Word is her mom cried a bit. Teaching team work is as important as teaching the skills. He even took his own daughter out of the game when she became too focused on driving the ball in for a basket rather than using team mates that are open.

And a abhor coaches of young children who yell.
CalamityJane
 
  2  
Reply Wed 10 Mar, 2010 04:53 pm
Oh, we have the opposite here today - the kid is sad! I just received this email from my daughter - she's in computer lab right now
Quote:
Hey mom, it's me. I'm sitting here, because I finished all my homework, got an A on my ISN in history today Smile Hmm, what else? I've been sad all day, I can't seem to figure out why, but I am, everyone's been asking me "What's wrong with you today?" I keep saying "I'm fine." But, I don't know, is Oma okay? I hope everything is okay with her, I just got this strange feeling (not to be offensive) that something wasn't right... just, check on her, I'm kind of worried about her.): How about you? Let me guess, work was as hectic as always, right? Well, I hope you can respond, you always know how to cheer me up


Oma is my mother, she's been ill, but recovering.
Linkat
 
  2  
Reply Wed 10 Mar, 2010 04:54 pm
@sozobe,
Mine too (the tween) has the long curly hair thing going. Sometimes she doesn't like, but mostly she does - I think because she gets so many complements on it. But being the tom boy - she usually puts in a pony tail.
0 Replies
 
sozobe
 
  1  
Reply Wed 10 Mar, 2010 04:56 pm
@CalamityJane,
Aw, sorry she's sad. That's a sweet email though, especially the last line. Shows what a nice relationship you have.

Linkat, I couldn't agree more re: coaches. Glad your hubby's one of the good ones.
0 Replies
 
CalamityJane
 
  2  
Reply Wed 10 Mar, 2010 05:02 pm
@Linkat,
That's so great of our husband, Linkat. Encouraging the weaker girls to shoot
and help them get into the game is such a nice gesture. Unfortunately we have
had numerous fathers/coaches who were also of the yelling kind and advanced
mainly their own children. Good for your husband!!
Linkat
 
  2  
Reply Wed 10 Mar, 2010 05:24 pm
@CalamityJane,
To be honest, I think he should be a coach for kids as a job. He really pushes them and also is willing to pull some one out of the game, if they don't follow his instructions. The kids love him even though he can be tough and have high expectations. It is great to see some one coaching (my daughter has been fortunate to have a couple besides her dad) that truely love inspiring and helping the children rather than just winning. The older kids asked if he would coach them.
0 Replies
 
Thomas
 
  1  
Reply Wed 10 Mar, 2010 07:46 pm
@sozobe,
Wow!

If I remember correctly, you once posted a picture of yourself when you were 19. That hair looked kinda similar. Good for her!
sozobe
 
  1  
Reply Wed 10 Mar, 2010 07:50 pm
@Thomas,
Yeah, it's about exactly the same except for color (mine's darker). Makes it easier to care for/ give her advice, since whatever works on mine works on hers.


Re: coaches, I don't want to be too hard on this guy, he tried, and could've been way worse. But he seemed to assume a basic knowledge base that not all of the kids had. ("GET OPEN!!" OK... um, how?) Sozlet's been lucky enough to have some really great coaches, 1.5 yrs of a fabulous one for soccer is a big part of why she's as good as she is. Much respect to the good coaches like Mr. Linkat.
Seed
 
  2  
Reply Wed 10 Mar, 2010 07:59 pm
@sozobe,
I spent a couple of summers umping and helping coach a base ball league (ages 9 and 10). Coaches can be very bad. There were a few games where I had to stop play and tell the coach of a losing team to calm down or he would have to leave.

On the other hand, I have to stop several games as well to stop parents from berating their children and coaches. Parents can be very bad sometimes. Ruins the fun and love of the game for a lot of kids.

I am very much looking forward to Seedling getting to the age where she can start doing sports. My Ex wife is about to put her in dance classes. I just hope that she will enjoy sports as well as dance
tsarstepan
 
  2  
Reply Wed 10 Mar, 2010 08:03 pm
@Seed,
Dance can be a gateway activity to sports. Children can perfect their sense of balance and equilibrium if they practice dancing.
Seed
 
  2  
Reply Wed 10 Mar, 2010 08:06 pm
@tsarstepan,
very true, and I am not hating on dance at all! I just want to play catch or kick the ball around with her. Not saying that if she dances I still wont be able to do these things, I just have dreams of going to her games and holding up poster boards with her name and jersey number on it screaming for her! I could do that at a dance recital but i would probably get kicked out.
tsarstepan
 
  2  
Reply Wed 10 Mar, 2010 08:39 pm
@Seed,
http://i44.tinypic.com/e00u8g.jpg
Seed
 
  1  
Reply Wed 10 Mar, 2010 09:03 pm
@tsarstepan,
make that a Met's jersey and you got one proud Poppa
0 Replies
 
sozobe
 
  1  
Reply Thu 11 Mar, 2010 07:26 am
Awww, cute!

Dance definitely counts as athletics, I should've mentioned that too, sozlet has been doing ballet for the last few months and after a slow start is doing much better.

***

So, I happened to get lots more new info about this whole situation. Without going into too many details, it can be boiled down to -- this is an epidemic. It's not just sozlet. Evidently most of the third grade is either poking* or getting poked (or both), and many many girls are coming home saying "everyone hates me" and feeling singled out. But it's a big swath of 'em.

Sozlet and Kay seem to be back on their best footing -- where they are each others' confidants and have each others' back, but still are friends with other people too. That one thing will help enormously if it continues (knock on wood).


*"poking" = purposely trying to upset another girl
 

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