Oh, I am bad with the mall thing....Jane is not allowed to go alone with her
friends. Our malls are huge and in the wake of Amber Dubois and Chelsey King who both lived in a San Diego suburb, I am even more reluctant now.
So far, I am just glad that my daughter is not a shopper.
JPB, we had the designer label in private school, despite uniforms. Some kids wore $ 500 backpacks. It got to the point that the principal wrote a letter to all parents asking them for cooperation. I talked and talked and talked to Jane endlessly about how some people define themselves through designer clothes and others shine with their personality and don't need outside stimulants to be popular. Every day we had conversations about insecurities and how each individual acts on them differently.
Each child is different of course, but I made it a point to have my daughter
fight her own battles. All I did is help her in her strategy and make her understood where her "opponents" came from. Once she understood that
they're scared and want a piece of the popularity (contest), she became
much more gracious towards the ones who tried to belittle her. It gave
her the confidence to reach out to them.
I feel that building up confidence is a big big factor. At times I overshot
my goal, but that's another subject....