Hi, echi -
I have luckily not been in an abusive relationship, but I've been around it with a couple of family members. One situation I'm speaking of had the woman wacking out, battering the man, breaking his glasses, out in public, and the police arriving and charging both of them (if I remember right, not sure about charges but they blamed both of them). I wasn't there to see it, but I believe the guy didn't touch her, just warded her off except perhaps with words, as it fit my experience with them separately and together. I liked or somewhat understood both of them, far as that goes, but they were toxic together.
I agree with the leave! comments, know it can be hard sans resources.
oops, not a response to Ragman