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Talking about Cavfancier .. 5 years on.

 
 
Mrs Buttercup Cavfancier
 
  9  
Reply Sat 20 Feb, 2010 08:28 am
Hi all...I haven't been here for about 5 years. A lot has changed in the layout so I'm hoping I actually end up posting this instead of sending it into the great internet void (which is where Cav is - as one of you said about 5 years ago (I think it was Bo) "people on the internet don't die - they just go offline for a while").

Mezzzie directed me here this morning, on this day of days, to let me know that his brother has not been forgotten - instead, you all keep him alive here every day, rereading old posts for recipe suggestions, philosophical debate, or because you need a laugh. It warms my heart and soul to know how much he meant to all of you, even though most of you never met him in the flesh. You meant the same to him, and more...

One of you posted the Sonnet that Cav wrote for me when we first started going out. I had that posted at my desk for years, finally taking it down last year because the ink was fading on the card. I didn't want to lose either the ink imprint or the touch of the side of his hand as he wrote across the card. It's now hidden away from the light in a box of those things that were all about Cav and me.

You may be wondering why I never returned here after that first bit of flurry and fury of posting in and around the final days of Cav. I did at first - as a lurker, never a poster - I felt that this was his place, with his friends. Kinda like how, even though you're in a relationship, you have your friends and your partner has their friends, be it online (and especially so with the advancements of social networking over the past five years) or in the flesh. And sometimes you just need to hang out with your own friends without your partner around - it's human nature. So when I would come here, I felt like I was spying on Cav, and I didn't like that feeling. So I went offline too. I hope you understand - it was nothing personal. You all are truly decent people (well your online personas are-if you have parallel bars and cat o'nine tails hanging in your bedrooms, that's your business! Wink ) and I want to thank you for continuing to keep Cav and his memories, his dreams, and his philosophies alive.

Somewhere he and Hunter S. are halting their gonzo chat saying "were we supposed to do something today? There's a buzzing in my ear." They're probably planning on going to Vegas - Hunter S. for the Vegas he knew in the 70s, Cav for the culinary destination that Vegas has become.

Some of you have asked about email addresses. The address of [email protected] still does exist, though it only receives spam these days. If you want to write to Cav privately (since he can't respond to DMs- I no longer have his password), feel free to send emails there and they'll wait for him. If you want to write to "Cav" to get an answer, or if you'd like to write to me, feel free to do so at mesburian AT rogers DOT com (Edited by Moderator to try to foil spambots).

It seems that a lot of you have questions and theories about Cav that you may just be venting, or you may genuinely want answers for. For the longest time, I couldn't talk about it, but over the years, both his story and our story have ended up being helpful to many people. That has helped to slowly heal me, though it will never fill the void in my life. What I'm saying is that I can talk about this now, if you'd like to email me. I don't think it's fair to his family, his dear friends, me or his memory to post anything about this publicly. There's nothing defamatory to say - it's just not right.

Make sure you make something nice for yourself to eat today in his memory, be it a complex 4-course menu or just a nice sandwich that you like. Just stay away from that Nasty Clown, no matter how cute those Olympic collectables are...lol

Thank you all again for this thread today, especially you msolga, and thank you for remembering my dear, sweet Cavfancier.

Lots of love,

Mrs. C

msolga
 
  1  
Reply Sat 20 Feb, 2010 08:33 am
@Mrs Buttercup Cavfancier,
Oh Buttercup, how lovely to see you again.
What a post.
Thank you.
0 Replies
 
JPB
 
  1  
Reply Sat 20 Feb, 2010 08:42 am
@Mrs Buttercup Cavfancier,
Hello Buttercup!

Thanks for stopping by and making that lovely post.

May I suggest that you ask the moderators to edit your actual email address to one that can't be scanned by cyber bots? Replacing it with something like "mesburian at rogers dot com" will get it out there for those reading here but prevent the spam bots from filling up your inbox.

HUGS to you, Mezzzie, and the rest of Paul's family and loved ones.

Actually, I'll make the request for you...
dlowan
 
  1  
Reply Sat 20 Feb, 2010 08:44 am
@Mrs Buttercup Cavfancier,
Thank you.
0 Replies
 
jespah
 
  1  
Reply Sat 20 Feb, 2010 08:56 am
@JPB,
Done.
0 Replies
 
Francis
 
  1  
Reply Sat 20 Feb, 2010 09:04 am
@Mrs Buttercup Cavfancier,
Thank you for your post, I'll never forget Cav...
0 Replies
 
Letty
 
  1  
Reply Sat 20 Feb, 2010 09:29 am
@Mrs Buttercup Cavfancier,
Ah, Buttercup. Great seeing you again. How is wee Austin? We all loved Cav, gal.
0 Replies
 
ehBeth
 
  1  
Reply Sat 20 Feb, 2010 10:20 am
@Mrs Buttercup Cavfancier,
Mrs Buttercup Cavfancier wrote:
Make sure you make something nice for yourself to eat today in his memory, be it a complex 4-course menu or just a nice sandwich that you like.


you're an awfully smart woman, Mrs. C.

I thank Cav for changing the way I approach life - and for introducing us.


I think some nice mashed root veggies with a garlic, pancetta topping would be nice.


<smooches and hugs to MsO, Mrs. C. and just everyone>
0 Replies
 
Eva
 
  1  
Reply Sat 20 Feb, 2010 10:24 am
Two things Cav said still impact my everyday life.

The first was his explanation of how to properly hard boil eggs. Hubby does it our old way, and I am forever telling him, "But Cav said...!"

The second was his love for his Austin and all Cavalier King Charles Spaniels. It made me rethink my attitude toward dogs in general. When we chose our first dog almost five years ago, it was Cav's recommendation that stuck with me, and we bought a Cavalier.

<waves at Buttercup!>
0 Replies
 
Mrs Buttercup Cavfancier
 
  4  
Reply Sat 20 Feb, 2010 01:28 pm
@JPB and Jespah
Thank you so much for changing the email address - you can tell I don't post on forums much anymore - my mind has been Twitterized and Facebooked. bit.ly services just do all that for me :S .

@Letty and Eva

Austin the Cavalier King Charles Spaniel is alive and doing ok. He'll be 11 on March 3rd. He's got a grade 5 heart murmur (@Eva - hope you're getting yours checked annually because you never know when it's going to come out) and his keratitis is starting to cloud his vision, but he's pretty spry. I have a 3 year old who keeps him on his toes. They have a love-hate relationship. My son loves him, Austin hates the way he loves him, with pulls, tugs, whaps with stuffed animals, but they share a love of food - my son is a messy eater; Austin gets the spoils Smile . It all works out in the end.

I'll come back a little later and post some recent pics of Master Austin. He just had a haircut last week, so he's looking quite well. You'll forgive how short I've shorn him - it's easier in the winter...

Rockhead
 
  1  
Reply Sat 20 Feb, 2010 03:22 pm
bump.
0 Replies
 
margo
 
  1  
Reply Sat 20 Feb, 2010 05:11 pm
MsOlga
Wonderful to be reminded of Cav - who could believe it was 5 years.

Great to hear from you, Buttercup - and good wishes for the future

Sobbing along here...
msolga
 
  1  
Reply Sat 20 Feb, 2010 05:19 pm
@margo,
Quote:
Sobbing along here...


Join the club, margo. Smile
0 Replies
 
msolga
 
  1  
Reply Sat 20 Feb, 2010 05:25 pm
@Mrs Buttercup Cavfancier,
Quote:
I'll come back a little later and post some recent pics of Master Austin. He just had a haircut last week, so he's looking quite well. You'll forgive how short I've shorn him - it's easier in the winter...


Yes, please do, Buttercup.
We'd really like that.

(And only if it's possible & only if you want to. No pressure, OK?) Posting a photograph or 2 of Cav would be much appreciated here, I'm certain. Letty's photograph is the only one we seem to have & it would be terrific if we post one on his profile page (if that's OK with the moderators).

I was so moved by your post last night. So generous of you. Thanks again.
jespah
 
  1  
Reply Sat 20 Feb, 2010 05:42 pm
@msolga,
We can't post on his profile page -- that is secure to the account. Just like adding to Gravatar, it can only be done by whoever can get into cav's account, sorry.
msolga
 
  1  
Reply Sat 20 Feb, 2010 06:03 pm
@jespah,
Oh OK, jespah.
That's a pity, but I understand.

0 Replies
 
Butrflynet
 
  2  
Reply Sat 20 Feb, 2010 09:25 pm
I still have this image on my blog from 5 years ago today. I made it in honor of Paul.

http://butrfly.net/Cavfancier.gif

I just checked and his website for Cinnabar is still up and available. It has a photo of him there in his kitchen whites. If you click on the photo it will take you to another page where you can read about Paul's thoughts on food and cooking.

http://cinnabar10.tripod.com/


And, buried deeply in the site are photos of Austin, Cinnabar's foremost taster and food critic.

http://cinnabar10.tripod.com/austinspage/
0 Replies
 
msolga
 
  2  
Reply Sun 21 Feb, 2010 12:14 am
As serious as we might feel today, and with good reason, Cav was was so much fun!

Here's a Cav thread I've been reading on a quiet Sunday afternoon here, which made me laugh:


What amazes you about your bodily functions?


Quote:
Please feel free to be completely candid and rude here, because I will. What amazes me is just how much feces can be carried around in one body. I probably take a crap at least three times in the morning, and then at least once after every meal. I swear my crap weighs more than the food I intake. It's a mystery to me, but at least I know my metabolism is good. Also, asparagus pee. Smells bloody awful. What amazes YOU about your bodily functions?


http://able2know.org/topic/16009-1
Butrflynet
 
  2  
Reply Sun 21 Feb, 2010 02:24 am
@msolga,
Speaking of his humor, or as he'd spell it, humour, I give you the Cavfancier "Fart Thread." The whole thread is hilarious. These are some of his gems.

http://able2know.org/topic/32602-1

cavfancier wrote:

Edit [Moderator]: Moved from General to Humor.

Find the odes to the odorous, post them here. My, it's windy today!

A fart can be quiet,
A fart can be loud,
Some leave a powerful,
Poisonous cloud.

A fart can be short,
Or a fart can be long,
Some farts have been known
To sound just like a song.

Some farts do not smell,
While others are vile,
A fart may pass quickly,
Or linger awhile.

A fart can create
A most-curious medley,
A fart can be harmless,
Or silent, but deadly.

A fart can occur
In a number of places,
And leave everyone
With strange looks on their faces.

From wide-open prairies,
To small elevators,
A fart will find all of us
Sooner or later.

So be not afraid
Of the invisible gas,
For always remember,
That farts, too, shall pass.


cavfancier wrote:

I will have to pop into that thread of yours Letty. I am unfamiliar with the smell of this man.

Ode to Old Farts (for Bo)

I'll savour an old fart,
like I would an aged cheese,
vintage Bordeaux, if you please.
No 'new world' whines for me,
an old fart sings with complexity.


cavfancier wrote:

shewolfnm wrote:
Does ass size effect fart sound?


I don't think so.

True story, I was on a four-bean chili kick for a while, and Mrs. cav was trying to listen to the radio late at night, while I snored and tooted, apparently so loud it drowned out the broadcast. It smelled horrible too. <sniff> It was one of my...proudest moments. Laughing
0 Replies
 
msolga
 
  1  
Reply Mon 21 Feb, 2011 06:30 am
The 6th anniversary today. (I think it's still the 20th in Canada?)

http://butrfly.net/Cavfancier.gif

A toast to dear Cav.

Remembered with much affection and so sadly missed.

Fond regards to you on this anniversary, Buttercup and mezzie/James.
 

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