8
   

Scouting out guys at the grocery store.

 
 
australia
 
  1  
Reply Wed 15 Dec, 2004 11:17 pm
Thanks for the tips guys and girls. I will put some into practice and see how I go.
0 Replies
 
plainoldme
 
  1  
Reply Thu 16 Dec, 2004 10:10 am
eHarmony doesn't tell you what it costs, other than to say it is more expensive than most. That sounds serious!

The funny thing is that when I did the pre-Internet personals a dozen years ago, I never met a man I wanted to see a second time. The men then were a little more willing meet women. I did have 2 to 3 hour phone conversations with guys prior to meeting them. There was never any chemistry for me.

Of course, the guy with the huge ink stain on his shirt did nothing for me. But there was never any physical attraction on my part.
0 Replies
 
ehBeth
 
  1  
Reply Thu 16 Dec, 2004 10:20 am
You do seem to be a bit, mmmmm, fussy, Plainoldme. That may have an effect on what's happening/not happening in terms of relationships.
0 Replies
 
nimh
 
  1  
Reply Thu 16 Dec, 2004 12:45 pm
littlek wrote:
And, being a man who hates loud bars, where is it you'd be likely to go?

I dont like loud bars either. I go to ... where do I go to? I'm kinda fussy when it comes to cafes (kinda ... <LOL at imagining either of my last two gf's eye-rolling reaction to that statement>) ...

I like coffeehouses and so on, where they have, you know, a good selection of newspapers and a decent choice of teas and, preferably, good cake ... <grins>. If you've got all those three bases covered, the place is pretty likely not to be a "loud bar". And to look either cozy or smart or hip, which is all OK. Yeah, that pretty much covers it.

Then again thats usually early in the evening or in the afternoon, it gets pretty tough late at night or in the weekend ... Alternatively, I have a guilty pleasure in, like, the superhip loungy places that can get pretty crowded without ever appearing to become a "loud bar". Those be good for later hours, though not so much alone. (Except if you're abroad, then you have a good excuse - hell, then you're interesting by yourself ;-). And thats mostly where I'd have to go for 'em, anyway ... Berlin ...)

Then again you're right, the silent type doesn't really work so good for men either, unless you're either insanely handsome or successful and intrigueing or get to be around the same group of people for a while ... so I dunno how much good finding the right cafe actually does if you're just going to be quietly reading.

When you're in your mid-twenties (say, crossing the continent with an Interrail pass or something), being writing in a cafe can work - thats interesting, too. It's also pretty cheesy, works better for girls (providing shy guys with the perfect opening line) - and, on that latter note, if you're actually trying to write something the "what are you writing?" interruptions can get pretty damn annoying (says A.)

Oh - cinemas. Art house-type cinemas usually come with a cafe thats most never a "loud bar" and usually pretty likely to stock other people by themselves ... plus, you always have a topic for conversation at the ready.

<all said by a guy who doesnt actually do any picking up, mind you ... most all the girls I was with were people I was around for a while ...>
0 Replies
 
nimh
 
  1  
Reply Thu 16 Dec, 2004 12:49 pm
OCCOM BILL wrote:
Think of hello as a volume knob for stranger-attention. It is.

Good one! Razz
0 Replies
 
plainoldme
 
  1  
Reply Thu 16 Dec, 2004 12:57 pm
Beth -- I don't think that I'm all that fussy. If you just doen't feel the spark, you don't feel it.

Besides, I have always hated wasted a man's time . . . even when I was a teenager, I felt that way. Why should someone be out with me for an evening when I had no desire to take the relationship any further when he could possibly be in a place where he might meet Miss Right?

And, besides again, there have been men that made me drool, but, when I mentioned their attractiveness to other women, those women said, "Yuck!" It happened just this spring at a singles' event. There was a man there, very short, but with rock star looks: blue eyes, cheek creases (a big plus), regular features and white hair in a pony tail with really stylish clothes. I pointed him out to some women I knew. One said he was awful and another said he looked full of himself.

Meeting people through the Internet is a bit backwards: generally, when you see someone in public, there is a spark, a bit of frisson, excitement. Then you find out by talking to them if there is anything more. When I did the traditional personals, in the pre-Internet days 12 years ago, I would have long conversations. We'd meet and I wouldn't want to see the guys again.

Now, one was a genuine loser. He had met someone I knew at a party but implied they were good friends. Frankly, this woman is "really cool," hardly beautiful but above average in looks, thin, very well dressed. She has a doctorate and writes published fiction. Couldn't understand why she wanted to know him. Found out from her that she spoke to him briefly and got away as soon as possible. Supposedly, he had a Ford Foundation grant to work on the Middle East Peace Process and an office at MIT, but, when he visited Israel not long after meeting me, the US did not allow him back into the country! Fussy? Nah!

I never met the two best guys. One because he woke up at 45, and like the pop art painting, realized that he had forgotten to have kids. I had no interest in having another. The final man was just the opposite: he disliked kids and, although he impressed that I could talk with him on the phone and make pancakes at the same time, because I had teenagers, he decided against meeting me.

And what about the guys who, these last three or four years, haven't found me exciting? I greeted Mr. Rock Star and he cut me off. I've since seen him at the Museum of Fine Arts' First Fridays. He stands near the door. Never eats nor drinks and never initiates conversations with others although people come and speak with him.

Again, there was a man at the MFA. He arrived early, as I did. Now, I had dressed very well and I've recently lost a little weight (walking to work). Since there weren't many over-50s there, I thought he would speak to me. He talked exclusively to one woman. She was a bit heavier than I am and definitely more pear shaped, a little horsey-faced, and, while her clothes were neat, they were rather dull, a sort of brown tweed suit. I was disappointed.

I do think that during most of a person's life, about half of the people are available. When you start college, 50% of the class is truly single. The rest still have their high school sweethearts or have immediately paired off. That is true throughout our lives with the possible exception of the decade of the 30s, an age of cocooning. I also think that many people are, in their late 50s and early 60s, in their second marriages, making this a time of limited availability and one of the reasons why I am looking for a widower.
0 Replies
 
ehBeth
 
  1  
Reply Sun 9 Jan, 2005 11:07 am
They're out at the grocery stores again.
Interesting.
Stocking up after the holidays and in a mood to chat? I dunno, but they're out there again.
0 Replies
 
fishin
 
  1  
Reply Sun 9 Jan, 2005 01:05 pm
ehBeth wrote:
Stocking up after the holidays and in a mood to chat? I dunno, but they're out there again.


lol Around here it'd probably be stocking up for Pro Football playoffs. Wink
0 Replies
 
plainoldme
 
  1  
Reply Mon 10 Jan, 2005 08:44 am
I went to the MFA on Sunday because I was broke and needed to get out of the house after staying in due to possessing $0.38 for several days. (I am a museum member and always have a commuter rail pass, so getting to the museum and attending it are, essentially, "free" for me.)

Anyway, something that happened there has really made me question this whole business of having a man in my life. After the galleries closed, I went into the gift shop just to poke around. I was examing the calendars when I heard a man say to his (seeming) wife, in a loud and angry voice, "Go ahead! Buy the stupid thing!" She was carrying something the way women do, close to her body in the crook of her arm. It was small and made of paper that was held together with staples, so it was either a calendar or a thin book. It wasn't something large or expensive. She ignored him and walked over to the cashier and I thought, "Do I want to be back in that sort of situation again?"
0 Replies
 
littlek
 
  1  
Reply Mon 10 Jan, 2005 10:36 am
ick.

but, all relationships aren't like that!
0 Replies
 
nimh
 
  1  
Reply Mon 3 Jul, 2006 08:05 am
Today in Dutch newspaper de Volkskrant (the website of which includes a whole "singles" section by the way, including ads, forums and meet-up events): a new gadget. Laughing

Quote:
'Single shopping : hey, you a purple shopping basket too?'

ALMERE - A stack of green shopping baskets for who is already 'occupied', and a stack of purple ones for singles who want a date: in neighbourhood supermarket Plus, the hunt has been opened.

What a handsome guy, there at the vegetables and fruit. Slim and sportive, a sparkling little diamond in his ear, and a motor helmet in his one hand. And in his other hand? Bingo, a purple shopping basket! The hunt is open, because shopping with a purple basket in neighbourhood super Plus in [suburbian] Almere-Buiten means: I'm a bachelor, and I'm in for a date.

There is already an extensive choice of activities for singles, from Filmflirt cinema nights to Skate-Date-tours. Only a supermarket for single shoppers was still lacking, Ed de Greef (41), manager of Plus, decided.

There is in any case already lots of flirting going on in the supermarkt. "Especially 30-plussers you can see peeking into each other's basket to see if there's any one-person meals in it", says De Greef. "For them the supermarket sometimes is more of a meeting place than the pub." And anyway there are more than five million singles in the Netherlands - an interesting business target group.

That's why for the past two weeks at the entrance of the Plus there are baskets in two colours. On the right the green baskets, for whom is "occupied" or just thinks it's all nonsense. On the left the purple baskets with a sign over it: "for singles". At peak hour, in the evening, about ten people every half an hour take a purple basket, a salesperson says.

Not a lot, but no matter. That one handsome guy makes it all worthwhile. But where did he go? Is he in the deep-freeze corner, where the cliche says bachelor men can be found aplenty?

No, there he is [..] but I see a green basket in his hand. Did he already find his woman in betwen the entrance and here? "No", he laughs, "with that purple basket I just wanted to tease my girlfriend, who is also shopping here".

There turn out to be more untruthful users of purple baskets. [..] the married fourty-something Mike van Rossum says his daughter just loves it if he takes a purple basket. "Then I have to act like I'm her bachelor uncle. And back home she immediately tells my wife: mom, he got nothing again. Haha!"

[..] Gitta Voogt (31) [..] has a purple basket, because she is single. "But I don't think it really works", she says. "I mean, what are you supposed to say? Hey, you a purple shopping basket too?"

And yet, it works. In the Amsterdam supermarket Lindemans, singles in 2000 could shop with baskets with a flower decoration, a project of artist Otto Berchem. Owner Freek Lindemans (33): "Different people have settled on a date, but I dont know if it yielded lasting relationships too. We also had curious people coming in, and they'd spend some as well."

In the supermarket in Almere customers have also already exchanged numbers, manager De Greef says. [..] Only the salespersons would prefer less purple. "We should really get green shirts instead of the purple ones we have now", cashier Janny Pot says. "You wouldn't believe how often we're asked for a date now".
0 Replies
 
sozobe
 
  1  
Reply Mon 3 Jul, 2006 08:09 am
Good idea.
0 Replies
 
the prince
 
  1  
Reply Mon 3 Jul, 2006 08:16 am
I want a pink basket
0 Replies
 
Slappy Doo Hoo
 
  1  
Reply Mon 3 Jul, 2006 08:19 am
I think that's kind of gay. So if I want to go grocery shopping, I gotta grab a "I'm single" basket? Why not just wear a t-shirt that says "please talk to me, please."
0 Replies
 
kitchenpete
 
  1  
Reply Mon 3 Jul, 2006 08:19 am
Hi Super-G! Very Happy

I saw you as the last poster and (before opening) I thought... Confused

...PINK basket! Laughing

How's life? In need of a pink basket or happy with a green one for now?

KP
0 Replies
 
Slappy Doo Hoo
 
  1  
Reply Mon 3 Jul, 2006 08:23 am
In the US it would be a rainbow basket. They've gotten creative with the once-standard rainbow stickers for the Mazda Miatas, er, I mean, cars, and they make all kinds of rainbow stickers. It's supposed meaning is to celebrate diversity, but I bet it really means, "hey, I'm gay...you're gay...let's f*ck." You gay guys have it too easy.
0 Replies
 
the prince
 
  1  
Reply Mon 3 Jul, 2006 08:25 am
kitchenpete wrote:
Hi Super-G! Very Happy

I saw you as the last poster and (before opening) I thought... Confused

...PINK basket! Laughing

How's life? In need of a pink basket or happy with a green one for now?

KP


<GRIN>

I never had a greem basket - my local sainsbury has those dirty bule ones.....

How are you doing? Long time no see? We should get togther for a drink one of these days.....
0 Replies
 
the prince
 
  1  
Reply Mon 3 Jul, 2006 08:26 am
Slappy Doo Hoo wrote:
In the US it would be a rainbow basket. They've gotten creative with the once-standard rainbow stickers for the Mazda Miatas, er, I mean, cars, and they make all kinds of rainbow stickers. It's supposed meaning is to celebrate diversity, but I bet it really means, "hey, I'm gay...you're gay...let's f*ck." You gay guys have it too easy.


But Slappy you dont even need stcikers!!! I am a man, you are a woman, lets f**k !!!

And if you think gay guys have it too easy, you are sadly mistaken !
0 Replies
 
kitchenpete
 
  1  
Reply Mon 3 Jul, 2006 08:29 am
Doing well - arrived back in London this morning for days of work and (I hope) some nights of fun with a woman I met recently. I like her! Very Happy

I'll be back in town from Prague this summer more than previously expected - for work reasons - so will be in touch if I'm not "down by the fire" (as Chef would say on South Park!).

KP
0 Replies
 
material girl
 
  1  
Reply Mon 3 Jul, 2006 08:31 am
Slappy Doo Hoo wrote:
I think that's kind of gay. So if I want to go grocery shopping, I gotta grab a "I'm single" basket? Why not just wear a t-shirt that says "please talk to me, please."


I was thinking a while back when all these slogan tshirts came out to do exactly that.
Get one printed up with 'single' on it.Make more with 'divorced with kids','divorced no kids','still live with parents' etc

Never did it tho.

I think the basket idea is fantastic!!
I think the main hurdle people rarely get past is trying to find out of the person they like the look of is single.If they know then at leats they know if they can approach them or flirt if appropriate.
0 Replies
 
 

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