Scouting out guys at the grocery store.

Seems like milk and cereal is a single guy thing as much as it is a married-with-kids thing......

I'm like CJ. When grocery shopping I am on a mission.

Well..... prospects haven't changed at all. POM, here's your bump-up.

Thanks. I've been working at a liquor store for the past 2 and 1/2 years and a friend who is five years younger has been working at Barnes and Noble for about the same time.

We both thought that we would at least have a flirtation with a male customer. She felt that educated and sophisticated men would come into B & N and she would have the opportunity to strike up an on-going conversation with one. As it turned out, only one man showed an interest in her and he seemed a tad odd to her, so she did nothing to encourage his timid overtures.

I, too, felt that I would meet a man who regularly bought mixed cases of wine for home consumption or who stopped by to grab a bottle to take to dinner at a friend's house. This is slightly upscale store in a college town.

I did get some attention from older construction workers and street people. I simply had to avoid eye contact.

The men who regularly purchase mixed cases have all been married. There are one or two that I have never been able to learn anything about, although we have talked. There have been a few who looked my age (62) but who turned out to be a decade younger.

In fact, a man groused to me about his age as he purchased a bottle to take to his high school reunion. "I feel so old! I graduated in 1979!" I told him he was "a mere stripling." He then said that I must have graduated around the same time. When I told him 1965, he was crestfallen.

I think I wrote on this thread some time ago that men may have been beaten down by life.

I have talked at length with a man who seems a tad interested. He is both a lawyer and an urban planner although he has not worked in either field for several years. His situation is that is he barely holding on financially. That, I think, may be a big reason why some older men make no moves: they just can't afford to.

I should say that I am not enthused by him.

Another man, who is involved or seems to be, suggested that I come to a fund-raiser for local arts as there would be dancing. I went. The cover was $25 and I danced a couple of times with him and with another customer and a third man. It was a fun evening.

I am going to reply here although I may start a new thread . . . but then the subject seems boring.

Anyway, I new friend who is my age asked whether I have been dating. I said that I just don't see single men. Then, she pointed out that one of our colleagues is single but that she thought he was a very fussy person and that the two of them would not be well matched.

She then said something I have been saying: that men seem to be beaten down by life.

She also added something I haven't experienced: that there are men in the senior range who do not want a relationship but want to know women that they can call once in a while just to have company for dinner . . . that they want a remedy for loneliness without commitment.

I was surprised. She said the trouble with that arrangement is that she wants a relationship with a man who likes to travel and likes family activities. She also said that she can go out to dinner with her girlfriends and have more fun.

My alumni mag arrived a few days ago, actually, the day before I talked with my colleague I turned to the personals . . . a guilty pleasure. They are always the same . . . 98% of the posters are women. Many are repeat posters. They are always pretty . . . redheads or blondes or raven-haired natural beauties . . . with legs that don't stop. They want to learn French on the ground in Paris . . . ski . . . blahblahblah . . . so, one gets the impression that these are fairly young women, certainly not more than 40. They look young and they want to do things that require the flexible minds and bodies of 18 year olds.

Then you read that they seek men who are 55-65 or 60-68 or 59-64. I assume that the women fall right in the middle of the range posted.

It occurred to me when I read this last batch that these women are fighting against the dying of the light and will not go gentle into old age, let alone death. I'm not certain they want a man . . . they just want their youth returned to them with time to live it.

Hey, connect me to that failed urban planner, per favore.

Your takes on the agers are.. yours.

Which take, that the men are beaten down or that the women who promote their youthful vigor are railing against death? Of course, both are mine. They're my observations.

The urban planner rides a bicycle and is very fit. He has to pump iron as well. He is 5'9" or 5'10" and buys a small bottle of wine (one of a four pack) almost every night. He is bald and wears glasses. I have been exiled to the other store and haven't seen him in several weeks. I think he is lonely but aren't all folks of a certain age?

I wish girls would approach me at the grocery store. Kudos for taking the initiative!

I've been thinking back to when I started dating. The slightly older men, upper classmen and grad students, were exciting. They knew interesting places to listen to music and restaurants you never went to with Mom and Dad. What happened to those guys?

Are they all happily married to wonderful women?

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