How do you know if she's the one?

I honestly think there is no such person as "the one", for anyone
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

I do not know if I agree with that even as a hard headed engineering type I should do so.

My now-wife and I had a long long history where at times we were not seeing each others for years and yet the women I had dated during those periods alway compare badly to my now-wife and I was never very interested in long term relationships with them as a result.

She is the one as far as I am concern and proven so over 25 years.

Yes.

But I think I might have had some difficulty being clear on what exactly that meant to me, at age 19 or 21. Say nothing of reaching total agreement with the other.

I've written on a2k before that I think mature love is a product of a relationship, not the first flume of chemical ballast or blast.
Life is long, art is longer, as the saying goes, but marriage can be longest in wearing ways, or sometimes very dear to the heart.

Our poster and his lady agree on exercise and have similar interests such as in chosen major in college. But wait, many of us change careers as we become attracted to other interests, and who wants to pick someone because of the number of pushups? er, miles run on a given day.

Looking back, I've been interested in people with intellectual curiosity, not so much ways set in concrete. Well, that's me. In order to choose a mate, you have to know yourself, and that is hard at 24, prime time for marrying though that is.

On the other hand, I know a few folks who've weathered the years well as a couple. Not all that many though - most of my friends, relatives, and acquaintances had some missteps.


Not that all of us were sorry about missteps. Life is a learning period.

As you've both agreed to stay together & it's worked out well (good for you both!) you've both chosen well, Bill. I do believe it is a choice, rather than somehow, magically meeting "the one".

not sure when i decided the one i'm with is the one

we share so many interests, have similar senses of humour, and it seems at times as if we're one person

sure we've had our ups and downs, and we fight, but over all it's been good

as i said, not sure when i realized they were the one, i just remember looking and in the mirror and thinking, i'm the one for me, and i couldn't be happier

Indeed, osso.

We do our best, but there's no avoiding the odd mistake or mishap, here & there.
And if we didn't make mistakes we'd never learn.

I had to read that a couple of times, djjd!

ditto

magically meeting the one
-----------------------------------------
Sorry but there is "magic" in this world from time to time and this is coming from a hard headed atheist engineering type!

I met my wife by pure chance after I let a post on the online dial service CIS concerning my poor view of woman kind and she reply from 2,000 miles away.

Without my having a fight with the lady I was dating at the time and coming home mad as hell I would not even had bother to booted up my old ti-99 system let alone posted that message that she ended up repltying to.

After getting to know her I were never able to view myself with another life long partner.

I had met the ONE.................