19
   

Workplace Courtesy

 
 
Finn dAbuzz
 
  0  
Reply Sat 15 Aug, 2009 12:29 am
Wow!

Diest having a problem with a co-worker!

Who would have ever thunk it?

Listen to Robert's advice.
dlowan
 
  3  
Reply Sat 15 Aug, 2009 02:08 am
@ehBeth,
I think the guy is a nasty piece of work, and what he did would irk me intensely, too.

However, I agree with those who said taking things further about a mug is making too much of it, and will likely do you harm, rather than good.

I think the intense anger will go away after a bit....talking about it here will likely help with that, as will having a chat with any friends you know who will care enough to really listen.

Revenge stuff is generally just dumb, unless you work in an ofice where that sort of stuff is really taken as being funny, and you can do it in a really light-hearted way.

I would suggest not going that way at all.

Re the regaining trust.....I don't think it reasonable to trust this guy not to do silly, nasty little things if he gets the chance (unless his behaviour when you talked with him was silly bluster because he actually realised he had done something nasty, and isn't used to being called on it, or was embarrassed....either way he may change his behaviour without ever admitting to you that he was silly.)

I think dealing with your anger away from work, and letting it go is the best thing.

Hopefully you can trust this guy with work stuff, and leave it at that.

I have really seldom heard of someone doing something so very petty, I must say....though dishes and stuff are a common workplace beef.


Exercise and such may help with the anger...releasing it harmlessly but physically is often quite helpful.

In this world there be people who do weird stuff.

This is one of them.

Apologies: Just saw your post adding additional data re the trust stuff.

I think, if you get any evidence of his being unfair really affecting your status etc at work, I think you would need to gather evidence, and, if you really had that, address it at a higher level ONLY then,


Addressing it at mug level will, I think, work against you, if this guy ever does anything serious to you.


0 Replies
 
Diest TKO
 
  1  
Reply Sat 15 Aug, 2009 02:30 am
My solution came to me earlier tonight. I searched around and found a good bin to make into a lost & found receptacle. I decorated it, placed it in a easily seen location, and sent out an email to all the teams letting them know about the new L&F bin and where it was. The coworker in question pretended he had no alternative. By creating the bin, I've removed that decision from him. If he wishes to continue to throw other peoples items away, he will do so knowing full well the proper first avenue. If he continues, and I need to actually seek help from the management, I will have illustrated both that (1) I already put in effort to constructively resolve this, and (2) that there is an established pattern of behavior. Given what happened, I don't think I need to do anything else. As apparent from many of my coworkers, my coworker has embarrassed himself and done more hurt to his own reputation.

I'm still shopping for a good mug replacement. Something with sarcastic workplace humor will be best I think.

As for the issue of trust, I decided that it is out of my hands. While he is one of the four team leads, he is not my team lead, and my team lead has voiced that that he supported me in this. I feel confident that I have appropriate advocacy on my side in that meeting, in spite of this one individual. I'll invest more of my trust in my team lead, if I cannot trust this person.

I
Diest TKO
 
  1  
Reply Sat 15 Aug, 2009 02:32 am
@Finn dAbuzz,
Thanks for the non-input.
K
O
Intrepid
 
  1  
Reply Sat 15 Aug, 2009 07:35 am
@Diest TKO,
I hope your solution does not backfire on you. I mean, do you have the authority to place such a box? Has it been approved by management?

This is taking things into your own hands just as your co-worker did in disposing of your mug. Others may resent it.

Just a thought.
Froth
 
  2  
Reply Sat 15 Aug, 2009 08:18 am
@Diest TKO,
Quote:
I'm still shopping for a good mug replacement. Something with sarcastic workplace humor will be best I think.

I'd vote for something cheap.
0 Replies
 
DrewDad
 
  1  
Reply Sat 15 Aug, 2009 08:27 am
@Intrepid,
Intrepid wrote:
I hope your solution does not backfire on you. I mean, do you have the authority to place such a box? Has it been approved by management?

This is taking things into your own hands just as your co-worker did in disposing of your mug. Others may resent it.

I'm having trouble determining if this is sarcastic or sincere.
Intrepid
 
  4  
Reply Sat 15 Aug, 2009 08:28 am
@Diest TKO,
http://rlv.zcache.com/office_space_stapler_mug-p168089992370581020tr4f_525.jpg
Diest TKO
 
  1  
Reply Sat 15 Aug, 2009 08:52 am
@Intrepid,
Intrepid wrote:
I hope your solution does not backfire on you. I mean, do you have the authority to place such a box? Has it been approved by management?

I'm not sure how to reply here. We're talking about a bin. What authority is needed? What about this would require management's stamp?

Intrepid wrote:
This is taking things into your own hands just as your co-worker did in disposing of your mug. Others may resent it.

This is taking things into my own hands. Not all self made initiatives are the same though.

I'm struggling to understand what practical/real scenarios actually exist here...

I received support in my choice from my team lead. This wasn't shooting from the hip.

T
K
O
Intrepid
 
  1  
Reply Sat 15 Aug, 2009 10:18 am
@Diest TKO,
Your last sentence explains it. I was only concerned that others may view your action as setting policy (though minor as it may be).
0 Replies
 
Intrepid
 
  1  
Reply Sat 15 Aug, 2009 10:20 am
@DrewDad,
DrewDad wrote:

Intrepid wrote:
I hope your solution does not backfire on you. I mean, do you have the authority to place such a box? Has it been approved by management?

This is taking things into your own hands just as your co-worker did in disposing of your mug. Others may resent it.

I'm having trouble determining if this is sarcastic or sincere.


No sarcasm intended. It was sincere.

Did you like my mug suggestion? Smile
0 Replies
 
Diest TKO
 
  1  
Reply Sat 15 Aug, 2009 10:23 am
@Intrepid,
Brilliant mug suggestion Intrepid.

T
K
O
0 Replies
 
CalamityJane
 
  1  
Reply Sat 15 Aug, 2009 10:26 am
I think the lost and found bin is an excellent idea, Diest.
Your mug is gone, nothing will bring it back, it's history - but you resolved the issue (possibly) for any future conflicts of that nature.
0 Replies
 
OmSigDAVID
 
  1  
Reply Sat 15 Aug, 2009 11:08 am
@Diest TKO,

From your presentation,
I get the impression that he dislikes u.

From your presentation,
I strongly suspect that he took delight
in this opportunity to lash out at u.

It is unclear Y u call him "they" several times
when your complaint is only against ONE guy.
That is a question that I ask u.





David
chai2
 
  1  
Reply Sat 15 Aug, 2009 02:03 pm
I think has gotten into the "making way too big a deal over this" catagory.

Whenever you get more than 4 or 5 people working in the same area, little things like this are going to happen, and you just learn to take it in stride.
Personally, I think if someone put out a lost and found box, no one would ever bother to use it, or a few things will get tossed in it, and will never get claimed.

The guy who did this? It sounds like he just got a bug up his ass because there was some **** laying around the breakroom, and he got carried away with throwing stuff out.....it happens. So, he didn't apologize, and you learned he's a jerk that way...move on. This happens to everyone.

Story....A few years ago, I had to office for about a year out of one of our clinics in another town. Totally different environment as far as comparing it to working in a location dedicated to business operations.
Cast of characters: A social worker and a dietitian who were both snooty bitches; a receptionist/secretary who had a passive agressive streak in here; and me.
There was a U.S. post box right outside the building, like 10 yards away.
Right outside the receptionist area was one of those plastic bins/buckets screwed to the wall where people could put outgoing mail...it happened to be smoke colored, you could see through it, somewhat. Apparantly it was supposed to be the receptionists duty to carry out the mail every day. I never paid much attention. If I had something to mail, I'd just walk outside and throw it in the mailbox. Was a chance to stretch my legs, get a breath of fresh air.
This social worker & dietitian were the source of probably 95% of the mail that had to go out. From my office, I would occassionally hear them ragging on the receptionist about "WHY haven't you taken this mail out yet?", and she'd play her little game of delaying it as long as possible, then making a big deal of having to "go out and mail all this" (like 5 letters or something).

Anyway, one day both the SW and dietitian came over to my office complaining that Gloria was REFUSING to take out the mail in the proper way, and that one of them had put a small envelope in the plastic bin YESTERDAY, but it never got mailed because Gloria REFUSED to look into and or feel around in the bin to see if there was a small envelope. In FACT, that small envelope was STILL in there, and no one could say when it would FINALLY be mailed.
They went on to say SOMETHING had to be done about this, and WHY doesn't the company buy a clear plastic bin so small items can be seen, or the bin needed to be REMOVED from the wall and reinstalled LOWER so Gloria would be able to look down into it to see if any items were left in there. In ADDITION, I need to sit down with Gloria and explain her duties, and maybe even go so far as to make note of our conversation as a VERBAL WARNING in her personnel file.

I sat there listening to them, thinking "WTF? Are they for real?"

I opened my desk drawer, pulled out one of these....

http://www.sxc.hu/pic/m/m/ma/mailsparky/551986_bull_clip.jpg

walked to the evil smoked mail bin, pulled out the small envelope, clipped it to the outside of the bin with the clip, and walked back into my office, closing my door behind me.

You would have thought that would have been the end of it....but nooooo.....

About a month later, the social worker was telling me something, but then she stopped in mid sentence and actually ******* said to me "oh, I guess you wouldn't understand this, it's pretty deep and complex. you operate on the premise something can be solved by a paper clip."

She was just itching to make this some big thing about having a plan of action about someones deficiencies, and the fact that some apparantly couldn't be relied on to appreciate the severity of certain problems.

I just said "Actually, I can be be quite deep, I just don't waste it on stupid crap. Simple problem, simple solution. Personally, I just take 15 seconds and walk out to the mailbox." and said no more about it

The funniest thing about all this? No one ever used that paper clip to attach any small outgoing mail.
Just like I don't think anyone will really ever use the lost and found box.
OmSigDAVID
 
  1  
Reply Sat 15 Aug, 2009 03:17 pm
@chai2,
I 'm an ignorant dinosaur.
It blows my mind that people can FIND handy pictures
like that, and then just PUT them there in their posts.

I wonder how thay do that ?





David
ossobuco
 
  1  
Reply Sat 15 Aug, 2009 03:42 pm
@OmSigDAVID,
Go to Google images and type paperclip in the white box, click on search.

This is what I saw - http://images.google.com/images?hl=en&q=paper+clips&btnG=Search+Images&gbv=2&aq=f&oq=&aqi=

Click on the photo.

It will bring you to a page that says "show full sized photo" by a small one. Click on that, it will show you a bigger photo.

Copy the URL in the long white box above by clicking on the Edit section of your browser in the toolbar and selecting COPY or CUT.

Go to Reply on A2K. Click on the IMG button.

Insert your copy of the URL in between [img] and [/img] by clicking on Paste in your browser's Edit section in the tool bar.

Look at Preview to see if it worked. If it did, Press Reply.

OmSigDAVID
 
  1  
Reply Sat 15 Aug, 2009 04:17 pm
@ossobuco,

Thank u, Osso.

I have copied your instructions
and look forward to a good opportunity to apply them!

Thanks again!




David
chai2
 
  1  
Reply Sat 15 Aug, 2009 04:28 pm
@OmSigDAVID,
OmSigDAVID wrote:


Thank u, Osso.

I have copied your instructions
and look forward to a good opportunity to apply them!

Thanks again!




David


do a coffee mug!!!
0 Replies
 
ossobuco
 
  1  
Reply Sat 15 Aug, 2009 04:56 pm
@OmSigDAVID,
You're welcome. It's gets easier after you tried this a few times.

I should mention that the URL should always end in the letters jpg or gif, and if not, erase the letters or symbols that come after that. Well, I suppose there are a few other ending letters for images, but practically speaking that's all I ever run into.



And, yes, a mug, bring us a coffee mug...
 

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