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My husband is abusive to me in every way (2), now my daughter is born and I don't want him near her

 
 
BillRM
 
  1  
Reply Wed 22 Jul, 2009 08:09 am
@New Mum to be,
Now you are claiming he hit you and threaten the child in the womb and if so he should be lock up for many years but in order to do that you need some proof of this in order to get your justice.

Did you call the police, did you go for medical treatments as a result of his actions did you tell friends during this period of his actions? Did your friends see you with marks on you also during that time period?

And once more under US laws at least his behavior with his ex is unlikely to come into a court room concerning you. Who know under UK laws I surely do not.

Take a deep breath as without solid proof your claims is not likely to play well in a custody hearing setting and you need to appear completely rational and in control of yourself in family court.

As a non-lawyer it look like the gentleman in some manner is going to be in your and your child life for many decades into the future and fair or not fair that is the likely outcome in my opinion. Hell in the US even proven wife abuse is not enough to bar a man from his child life.

As the women already had stated here talk to a good lawyer.
0 Replies
 
BillRM
 
  1  
Reply Wed 22 Jul, 2009 08:35 am
@New Mum to be,
Side note my wife had an ex who cheated on her and beat her during the marriage and she ended up forcing herself to have a civil and even mildly friendly relationship with him due to the two daughters they share over the years.

That does not mean that she forgave him and I witness her having an emotional outburst over the subject once at one of her daughter home many years after his death.

I do not think you can wipe this man out of your child life if he wish to have a part in his daughter life and he might or might in the end wish to have that relationship with his daughter.

Once more talk to a good lawyer and take a deep breath.
New Mum to be
 
  1  
Reply Wed 22 Jul, 2009 10:58 am
@BillRM,
Yes, i have prooves of medical treatment and i have also reported it to the police. I tried talking to his mum about it but her too have never been in her grandaughter's life, as i'm writing now she doesnt even know her grandaughter's name and never came to see her since she was born. She's also behind it.
(It's all explained in "My husband is abusive to me in every ways, what do i do? Help?")
I really wanted a happy home because i loved my husband soo much that i have done everything to make sure he's happy until we got married and i got pregnant then everything got worse.
I am calm now and waiting for the next hearing and final decision in court. I have also been talking to my lawyer.
All i'm praying for is some kind of safety for my daughter. If he wants to be in his child life later, it's fine with me as long as the visites are supervised at a contact centre or something but at the moment he doesn't. As i'm writing now he moved on with someone else and warned me not to or else??

BillRM
 
  1  
Reply Wed 22 Jul, 2009 01:47 pm
@New Mum to be,
It I am getting the correct picture of the gentleman from you then it is unlikely he will wish to pursue a relationship with your daughter once he can not try to used it as a tool/weapon of control of you.

You have two issues here one the abuse you had suffer and two the custody of the child and they are not one and the same issue in any case.

The UK is a complete black hole as far as my understanding of it court systems however in the US unless it can be shown/proven that he is a likely danger to your daughter you would have no more right to ban him or ask the courts to ban him from unsupervised visits then he would to ban you and even proven wife abuse would not normally be enough.

Now once more assuming you are giving us the correct picture of this SOB then if you can maintain your cool and not allow him to get your emotional upset by way of the baby there is a good chance that he will wander off to turn some other woman life into hell.
New Mum to be
 
  1  
Reply Wed 22 Jul, 2009 03:16 pm
@BillRM,
Yeah, i will keep my cool and hope everything goes out well.
0 Replies
 
 

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