married and having an affair with coworker, im confused?

Of course it will end with disaster, you fool.

Agree and for her and perhaps his children also.

You are not confused. You are stupid.

Youre trying to justify having an affair and are using your husband to offload the blame. Nice Try! but, in a divorce settlement, there is still a good argument of infidelity to be made .
Im tired of husbands getting screwed most of the time while wives run around like cats in heat.
The fact that youve got a kid is sad. Youre sending a message that its always ok to act like a teeneager all your life and you can run away from responsibilities with impunity.

So you are a new mom, the baby came along, your home life got a lot more mundane and some guy at work offered a little excitement for you the woman, not you the wife, mother, homemaker, step-mom. All that mundane stuff you are running from forms the tapestry of a real, fulfilling life. Where do you want to be when your child graduates from high school? My guess it's with the father of your child in the home you built together surrounded by the family you raised, not with the guy who stroked your ego for a few months.

Wow, the nighttime folks didn't pull any punches, did they?

Chances are the two of you will not make it long term. I agree with engineer. There's a reason you ended up having an affair and it probably stems from your marriage becoming mundane and boring with all of your "couple" energies taken up by the demands of a baby.

I didn't see that you blamed your husband in any way, nor do I think you're foolish, stupid, or a hussy. I think you're in a situation that is extremely complicated, particularly since you and your lover are co-workers.

My suggestion is to start talking to your husband. Figure out what it was that brought the two of you together in the first place and see if you can put some energies into those very same things. You're finding the time to be with another man. Find the time to be with the one you're married to. Get a baby-sitter. Go out on a date. Spend time in the park together --- anything that gets you out of the house for a bit and puts the two (sometimes three) of you together.

If it turns out that your marriage is hopeless then take the proper steps to terminate the marriage (hopefully with full joint custody of your daughter). In the meantime, I'd strongly advise against a relationship that could in any way jeopardize your job. My advice is to nix the affair. You're burning both ends and the middle of the candle all at the same time. Give yourself some time to get some perspective on your marriage. Your lover has been married for 17 years. He's not going anywhere any time soon.

This is already a disaster. You are an adult - you are harming 3 children (forget even about the spouses). If you are smart, you would end it now, and focus on your current family situation. Determine what you want for your own family - husband, and child before you begin any relationship further.

Really? I'd never have guessed.

have fun while u can.

marriage is for idiots IMO of course.

You've been married for what - 11/2 hours, days, months, years? Makes a difference.

How on earth would we know if his feelings are true? You know him and we don't.

What is "disaster" for you? Marriage break up? If so, then why are you doing this? You don't say anything about your relationship or why he is cheating on his wife.

That's all the help you're gonna get this time around.

This is six days after your post. If you're that interested, take the time to respond.

Hi, I believe I am his wife. He told me it was just talking. But nothing physical. Do you live in Mo.?

Your last post makes no sense whatsoever.

You believe you are his wife? What, don't you know? Did you not go through a ceremony?

He told you it was just talking. What was "just talking"? What is "it"??? Who is "he"?

But nothing physical.

What are you talking about? Your lover or your husband?

confused5 thinks she she could possibly be the wife of the fellow that claudia 85 is having an affair with...if they live in Missouri or...possibly Montana...wait, I'm getting confused.

Wow, I totally missed that - I'm confused, too!

Sorry, found out my husband was flirting w/ co worker and sending text/ email that they would hook up on a trip to corporate office. Husband said it was just writing and talking, no touching. I start reading and this info. last night late and freak. This is describing my family with just a tad more info than I got.

That is freaky confused5...hope hubby no touchy.Good luck

Sorry confused5 - I am a little slow on the pick up at times. What are you going to do?

when my wife behaves like a cat in heat, I usually do "get screwed"

(sorry for the bad joke, I couldn't stop myself)