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How can i overcome my parents divorce?

 
 
Reply Wed 24 Dec, 2008 12:13 am
my parents are going to go their separate ways, my mother is planning to marry someone else.im really depressed. i cant let go. im mad, sad, jealous. i feel its tearing me apart. i need help, everytime i try to talk to my mom about it, and tell her how i feel she doesn't understand. she in someway gets mad. please i need guidance, and advice. i will be really appreciated.
 
dlowan
 
  3  
Reply Wed 24 Dec, 2008 01:27 am
@april1989,
Your feelings sound pretty normal to me. It sucks, eh?


Feeling like that makes sense when your world has turned upside down.

It does help to talk. Got some good friends who have been through this? Friend's parents you trust? You sound as though you may be at school still? Is there a school counsellor you can see, or who can advise you about someone to talk to?

Thing is, it's likely to be a bit nutso for a while, although it gets better gradually.

Are your parents together enough to talk to you about the basics, like where you will be living, how you get to spend time with both parents, all that stuff?

That your mother appears to be planning to get married so soon is a bummer. You need a bit of time! Still, stuff happens.

Is your dad better to talk to, or is he overwhelmed with his own stuff?

Feeling weird is normal, so don't be surprised by it.




Here are some sites...not sure how good they are, but a start, eh?

http://www.itsnotyourfault.org/

http://kidshealth.org/PageManager.jsp?article_set=34874&cat_id=20316&dn=studenthealthzone&lic=180


http://www.spunout.ie/health/True-life-stories/Dealing-with-divorce:-part-2


http://www.thesite.org/sexandrelationships/familyandfriends/family/dealingwithdivorce

Take care.
0 Replies
 
sullyfish6
 
  1  
Reply Thu 25 Dec, 2008 07:23 pm
You don't say how old you are - not that it matters. divorce can be very upsetting for the children.

But try to deal with reality. Your folks were not happy with each other.

Your mother wants to find some happiness.

You still hold on to the Fantasy of your family, but it's just not going to happen. You must accept that.

I know it hurts, but you must try to figure out how you can remain the daughter or son in all this. Keep up the relationships with them.

Try to talk to other people besides your parents about this. They are just as confused as you are, and can't be your comforters at this time.

Take care - life is short, so don't spend time in sadness about things you can not control.

hawkeye10
 
  1  
Reply Thu 25 Dec, 2008 08:13 pm
@sullyfish6,
Quote:
Wed 11 Jul, 2007 10:48 am i dont know what career to study for my life. im freaking out. no idea what so ever. im 18 am i suppose to know already. im confuse. i read this quote those who dont know what they want suffer the most. and i am definelty suffering. please advice, help, anything

http://able2know.org/topic/99844-1#post-2753869
martybarker
 
  1  
Reply Thu 25 Dec, 2008 08:50 pm
@april1989,
April, Advice is here for you. Ask whatever you'd like, I'll try to help and I know others are willing also. I went throught a very surprising and difficult divorce 3 years ago. My kids are doing pretty well, maybe I can offer some words from my perspective.
0 Replies
 
cyphercat
 
  2  
Reply Sun 28 Dec, 2008 06:51 pm
@hawkeye10,
Jeez Hawkeye...is your point here that she's 18 so, like, suck it up?? That seems like all you could mean by this... But that's just so heartless. If that is your point, let me just say I was twenty when my parents split, and it was VERY painful...and in some ways it keeps bothering me more as I get older. It's only as you get older that the finality of it really sinks in. It hurts to realize that you REALLY can't go home again. Unless you cut ties with your family once you hit 18 or something, it obviously still matters to you whether your parents are together... Sure, you want them to be happy and do what they need to do, but that doesn't stop you from wishing they could have been happy together.
hawkeye10
 
  1  
Reply Sun 28 Dec, 2008 07:02 pm
@cyphercat,
I was making no statement, I was answering the question that sullyfish raised. I was also hoping to encourage everyone to look at the posting history of Aprils so that this thread could be put into perspective.

Given that april never comes back into the threads that she starts I have no intention of getting enmeshed in this one...I was acting as a public servant only.
0 Replies
 
sullyfish6
 
  1  
Reply Thu 1 Jan, 2009 01:07 pm
I love getting emeshed.
0 Replies
 
martybarker
 
  1  
Reply Thu 1 Jan, 2009 02:10 pm
The quickest way for me to loose interest in a poster is to ask a question and never respond to the genuine offers of advice. I doubt that April will ever pique my interest again. Oh well, I tried.
0 Replies
 
sricky
 
  0  
Reply Fri 17 Feb, 2012 01:43 am
@april1989,
It a common that you are depressed. It's your parent's life and they know it better that you. So i think, you should face the reality and wait to be it good...
0 Replies
 
 

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