I dont know what to do with my life

At 18 you really don't know who you are yet. I'm 46 and I'm on my third career. I've got a few degrees in various subjects, but none of them are what I do today. When I was in my late 20's I worked in the field of designing computer networks- and that didn't even exist when I was 18. I also worked in the art world, trained as a sou chef and now work in horticulture. Just get a good general education, all skills are valuable in some way. The more skills you have the more choices you have. Life is too short to just do one thing. Don't forget to take time to travel and have adventures.

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Copy editor?

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Re: I dont know what to do with my life

april1989 wrote:

i read this quote those who dont know what they want suffer the most. and i am definelty suffering. please advice, help, anything.

here's a better quote to live by

"Don't feel guilty if you don't know what you want to do with your
lifethe most interesting people I know didn't know at 22 what they
wanted to do with their lives, some of the most interesting 40 year
olds I know still don't."

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I had a discussion with my 17 yo daughter about this very thing last night. She too is the artistic/musical/creative type vs the strong academic type. She's absolutely freaking out about her future and could easily have written your post, April1989. If nothing else, at least know that your not alone. She does have one more year to sweat it out, but I have no doubt that she'll be equally challenged a year from now.

It's OK not to know what you want to major in. As advised by ossobuco on your other thread -- go to the college of your choice with a Liberal Arts major, join the theater group at the college or in the community and see if you like acting. Then go from there.

Another alternative is to take some of the general requirements at a Community College and then transfer those credits into the college of your choice. Make sure those credits will be accepted by other schools before you go that route.

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Re: I dont know what to do with my life

april1989 wrote:

i dont know what career to study for my life. im freaking out. no idea what so ever. im 18 am i suppose to know already. im confuse. i read this quote those who dont know what they want suffer the most. and i am definelty suffering. please advice, help, anything.

April, my daughter is your age and she doesn't really know what she wants to do either. I think very few 18yr olds actually know what they want to do with their lives.
Relax and enjoy your summer and look over a college catalog and see what pops out at you. Take a couple/some courses in the fall - eventually you'll hit upon something that interests you.
Do some research on what professions are in demand.

Find a "job" for right now to make some money and meet people. Sometimes all you need to do is meet the right person who puts you in touch with someone else who is looking for an employee just like YOU.

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Are people really "supposed" to know what they want to be when they're in their teens?

~~~

JPB's advice is great.

I'd definitely recommend not tying yourself to a major too soon. Drift a bit, in terms of program selection, if you can.

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I'm a woman in my sixties and have had at least three careers (waves to GreenWitch) and there are still a few careers I'd like to try.

I changed majors at the university as well, ending up graduating with a degree in microbiology, and working, enjoying it, as a research and clinical lab tech for fifteen years. By then I had gotten interested in studio art, and taken dozens of studio art courses after work at a local university extension program. I've co-owned two art galleries along the way...

but then, I became interested in landscape architecture in my early forties, and did four more years of classes in that, plus a twenty year career in that.

Instead of any of these being a waste of time, the experiences have enriched each other.

Don't be frightened by confusion at eighteen. I might have more frowns for someone who was feeling dead sure of their career goal at eighteen, though, of course, not always.

Education, at school or on the roads of life, is about exploring and integrating the knowledge your exploration leads to. True, one has to earn a living, but, please, open up your view from sheer panic at making some sort of immediate decision (what is that about, who is telling you to make this decision at eighteen???) to enjoying the exploration in education.

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ehBeth wrote:

Are people really "supposed" to know what they want to be when they're in their teens?

~~~

JPB's advice is great.

I'd definitely recommend not tying yourself to a major too soon. Drift a bit, in terms of program selection, if you can.

I know 3 women who started nursing school in their 40's. Sometimes you don't find what floats your boat until you've been out on the water for awhile.

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Yep, agreed with all.

I was an artistic type, was an art major as a freshman. Changed my mind, became an English major. Graduated with an English degree, looked for jobs, found nothing, went back to school and got an education degree.

Loved every minute of all of those, and am glad I had them all. (Well, some of the art major phase could have been scrapped, maybe, but even that had lots of non-obvious benefits such as being the source of many long-term friends.)

I see college as being a place to discover what interests you -- and discover, in general -- rather than someplace to enter with preconceived ideas.

Have fun!

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I realize college or university education costs a lot of money now, a fact which puts not only time but money for it into consideration as investment funding. I maintain to some extent, however, that four years of college/university really just set you up for how to question, how to learn, how to make connections re what you have learned, are learning, and may be revising your thinking on, whatever "career" you toss yourself head and heels into to start with.

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Eighteen, with college or university in front of you should really be the most marvellous time of your life

sure, some anxiety about starting something new - that's normal

a bit of becoming an itty-bitty fish in the ocean, after being a big fish in a backyard pond - that can be off-putting

but it's an opportunity - experience the world in a new way - if you're lucky enough to go away to school you don't have to deal with anyone's (including your own) preconceptions of you are or should be

~~~

Let's see - education and careers ... I started as an engineering student in university (discovered I hated what engineers do once they graduate) ... graduated with a degree in environmental science ... discovered it was a bad choice for me in terms of my health ... did a degree in psychology ... later ... a certificate in marketing (specializing in advertising) ... a certificate in advanced French ... certification as a human resources professional ... certification as a volunteer manager ... I'm still taking courses ... work ... restaurant hostess ... building manager ... copy editor ... water and air quality technician ... computer programmer ... researcher ... job coach ... vocational counsellor ... rehabilitation co-ordinator ... catastrophic claims examiner/co-ordinator ...

You don't have to decide - that's what life's for.

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ossobuco wrote:

I realize college or university education costs a lot of money now, a fact which puts not only time but money for it into consideration as investment funding. I maintain to some extent, however, that four years of college/university really just set you up for how to question, how to learn, how to make connections re what you have learned, are learning, and may be revising your thinking on, whatever "career" you toss yourself head and heels into to start with.

I think making that decision NOW, spending all that money NOW, and the fear of letting parents/family down if they change their mind is what scares many kids like April that are unsure of what they want to do. She probably feels that she must make that decision NOW, and make a 4 year commitment. Not everyone does it that way, for one reason or the other.

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I knew exactly what I wanted to do. I went to college, got my degree, and got a job doing what I wanted to do. Didn't like it. What you think a job is and what it actually is may be two different things.

Don't beat yourself up not knowing. Give yourself some time to explore and figure things out.

There are good suggestions here.

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ehBeth wrote:

....

Let's see - education and careers ... I started as an engineering student in university (discovered I hated what engineers do once they graduate) ... graduated with a degree in environmental science ... discovered it was a bad choice for me in terms of my health ... did a degree in psychology ... later ... a certificate in marketing (specializing in advertising) ... a certificate in advanced French ... certification as a human resources professional ... certification as a volunteer manager ... I'm still taking courses ... work ... restaurant hostess ... building manager ... copy editor ... water and air quality technician ... computer programmer ... researcher ... job coach ... vocational counsellor ... rehabilitation co-ordinator ... catastrophic claims examiner/co-ordinator ...

You don't have to decide - that's what life's for.

I can write a similar tale.

Started college as a Bio major, got slammed by Chemistry, became a Math major, got slammed again, became a Philosophy major and got my BA. Went to Law School. Took the Bar Exam and passed it. Held two legal jobs and took numerous depositions by the time I stood up one day and told my boss I quit because I hated practicing law. Became a paralegal professor, then adjusted claims, then adjusted claims in a different area, then became a legal auditor, then a Business Analyst, then a Quality Assurance tester, then a Moderator, then a Voice Recognition Engineer, then a Data Analyst, now looking to break away from data analysis and more into business analysis again and do something more aligned with the formal software development lifecycle, a thing that did not exist when I was in college, Law School or even during my first ten or so years of work. Can't wait to see how it all changes again.

Life and work are not constant, or at least they should not be. You're going to be a lot of people between now and the day you retire -- if you retire at all. College is for determining what you like to do. Failing that, it's for determining what you don't like to do. Then build on those things. You haven't even lived half your life yet. At age 44, I hope I haven't lived half of my life yet, either. Plenty of things lay beyond the horizon and it will not all be discovered at once.

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When I was in college, I had no idea at all what the word design meant - design of any kind. Now I think all kinds of design fields are fascinating.
I'd be a complete idiot at anything to do with computer related design (not talking about, say, using CADD, but related to designing software or hardware), but I can understand the fun at my primitive level.

On engineers, I just read an eye opening article about one with a very strong impact re much of the major building going on in the world now; think his name is Arup*. He has brought engineering to some very creative heights. Well, I didn't know what an engineer did at all, even routinely, much less at the most inventive levels, back when I was twenty.

I'm just corroborating that which we all seem to agree on - what you learn and do in life is a whole complex process. Get started, be curious, have fun, learn.

Try not to sleep with the Producer.

*Article on him in the NY'er recently.

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It is so hard to know what you want to do. I'm not sure I'll ever know! But I do hope that I find something that I like doing and will be happy going to work each day. Knowing at 18 seems so crazy to me now. When I was 18, I also thought I should know what I wanted to do for the rest of my life. It just takes time and experiencing life will help you figure it out. Hang in there, everything will work out!

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I dont know what to do with my life

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