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My "boyfriend" is rubbish. Should I dump him?

 
 
Reply Sun 16 Nov, 2008 11:16 am
I see my fella 2 or 3 times a week (according to when it suits him) usually at weekend. He turns up around 9-10pm at night, I make him drinks and he lies in my bed until he's ready to fall asleep and then he's gone again in the morning as I usually have to be at work.

I spend most of my Sundays alone as he always seems to be busy. I'm lonely, I'm bored and I've almost had enough.

I think I love this man and he is nice enough to me when we are together and calls me or texts me every day but this doesn't feel right and it's making me unhappy. Am I expecting too much? I think I've forgotten how to behave in a relationship.
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Type: Discussion • Score: 16 • Views: 5,303 • Replies: 60
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Foxfyre
 
  1  
Reply Sun 16 Nov, 2008 11:23 am
@Dorothy Parker,
He doesn't sound like a winner to me. If your gut is telling you that it just isn't right, I'd believe it. Life is far too short to get in all the good things we can put into it when we try. And a relationship that is going to make us more unhappy than happy shouldn't be part of the mix when we can avoid that. We should never settle in a committed relationship. I'd put this guy on 'friend' status and move on to find somebody you can admire and enjoy and be proud to introduce to your friends and family as well as fall in love with.
0 Replies
 
Bi-Polar Bear
 
  0  
Reply Sun 16 Nov, 2008 11:25 am
@Dorothy Parker,
how's the sex? really great sex (and money) cover a multitude of sins
Dorothy Parker
 
  1  
Reply Sun 16 Nov, 2008 11:26 am
@Bi-Polar Bear,
good but there's not enough of it
Foxfyre
 
  1  
Reply Sun 16 Nov, 2008 11:32 am
@Dorothy Parker,
Well I don't mean to be unkind, and I could be dead wrong, but it sounds like he thinks the sex is pretty good too, and that's pretty much all he shows up for. You deserve better.
Dorothy Parker
 
  1  
Reply Sun 16 Nov, 2008 11:53 am
@Foxfyre,
Foxfyre, I think you are right. Just need clarification from somebody neutral sometimes. Thanks.

x

CalamityJane
 
  1  
Reply Sun 16 Nov, 2008 12:46 pm
@Dorothy Parker,
What you have is a bed partner but that's about it. He's not interested in
you or your life outside the bedroom, that's why he turns up at 9 -10 pm only.
Lose him, and lose him fast!
0 Replies
 
Green Witch
 
  1  
Reply Sun 16 Nov, 2008 01:05 pm
@Dorothy Parker,
DP, I know enough about you to know you deserve better. Life is too short to waste on lowest common denominator men, and if he is hanging around he might scare off a good one. Go hunting for better game.
0 Replies
 
dyslexia
 
  1  
Reply Sun 16 Nov, 2008 01:07 pm
@Dorothy Parker,
this may be a silly question but i can only assume you get something out of this relationship, do know what?
0 Replies
 
squinney
 
  1  
Reply Sun 16 Nov, 2008 01:20 pm
@Dorothy Parker,
Actually, Dorothy, you sound like you jnew the answer by the title of this thread.

As far as hunting for better game... just PLEASE do not do so by helicopter. Smile

And, yeah, what Dys asked. There's always something one is getting from a fair or bad relationship, so figure out what that is and ask yourself if that is enough or if it is valuing yourself the way you deserve to be valued.
chai2
 
  1  
Reply Sun 16 Nov, 2008 01:33 pm
From what I've see of you here, you've always impressed me as a very intelligent woman Dorothy.

You deserve better.
0 Replies
 
nimh
 
  1  
Reply Sun 16 Nov, 2008 01:50 pm
"Nice enough" Not Equal good enough...
0 Replies
 
Aldistar
 
  1  
Reply Sun 16 Nov, 2008 01:51 pm
You have answered your own question. "...this doesn't feel right and is making me unhappy...". He sounds like some one who is fit more as a friend with benefits than a long term, serious relationship. Move on to better things.
0 Replies
 
JPB
 
  1  
Reply Sun 16 Nov, 2008 01:53 pm
@squinney,
squinney wrote:

Actually, Dorothy, you sound like you jnew the answer by the title of this thread.


I had the same thought, squinney.

Hiya, DP, long time no see. Hope you are doing well other than having a boyfriend who needs to be dumped.

Big Hugs to you!!!
0 Replies
 
ossobuco
 
  1  
Reply Sun 16 Nov, 2008 01:57 pm
@Dorothy Parker,
Aahhhh, don't you want to be cherished?
0 Replies
 
roger
 
  1  
Reply Sun 16 Nov, 2008 02:06 pm
@Dorothy Parker,
Just going by the title, yes you should dump him. You're not satisfied, and that's what counts.

Still, if he's spending 2 or three nights a week, and sometimes Sundays, what more could he do, short of moving in? Even guys have to do laundry, dishes, and other chores. You don't sound neglected, but if it isn't working for you, then let it go.
0 Replies
 
hawkeye10
 
  1  
Reply Sun 16 Nov, 2008 02:30 pm
why not re-tag the dude....make him a **** buddy.....and then look for a boyfriend??
0 Replies
 
McTag
 
  1  
Reply Sun 16 Nov, 2008 04:47 pm

Dump him, DP, men are crap.
Dorothy Parker
 
  1  
Reply Sun 16 Nov, 2008 07:32 pm
@McTag,
Thanks you so much for helping me sort my head out to you guys who replied. Keeps me sane. I'm just dreading what I know is inevitable.
Rockhead
 
  1  
Reply Sun 16 Nov, 2008 08:06 pm
@Dorothy Parker,
Hope this helps, DP...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=91euERWH2M4

(I agree with the rest, you got better things due yas)
 

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