Have any excuses that work for getting out of a ticket?

A friend of mine claimed that saying: "I have diarrhea, please give me my ticket FAST!" resulted in a "just go safely ma'am" and a wave instead of a ticket.

This isn't quite what you're looking for, but...

In L.A., I was pulled over for (allegedly!) starting my turn after the light had turned yellow. I had no idea I had done anything wrong, and was gobsmacked to be pulled over. The gobsmacked-ness (why on EARTH am I being pulled over..?? is my tail light out? what?) meant I wasn't lipreading well, and the cop had sunglasses and a mustache, and I just wasn't catching him. I said I was deaf, could he write or something?

He didn't believe me.

There was a bit of back and forth as I tried to convince him that I was, in fact, deaf. He became less and less amused. I don't know if I would have gotten a ticket no matter what, but the back and forth certainly didn't help.

He clearly thought I was trying to put something over on him. But I wasn't!!!

General moral -- cops HATE it when they think someone is using an excuse.

OK, that could work...

Once out in West Texas I was stopped doing 80 in a 70.

I just talked to the cop and said, "whoa! I was talking to my coworker here, and I got distracted."

Let me go with a warning. I think he may have just been bored.

Pissed the guy off that I was riding with, 'cause he was about 19 and cops never give kids a break.

"I'm sorry, officer, but I was in a real hurry to get into Mexico after robbing that bank ."

That'll make him forget about the ticket. And hey, the ticket is the only thing you're asking about, right?

And driving Lubbock->Austin once I was pulled over and the cop claimed I was doing 85 (at night) in a 65. It was bogus though; I had my cruise on 69 and told that to the cop.

True - I do like the diarrhea comment - that could actually work

did you get a ticket?

Once when I was much younger, (my infant son was in the car), and a new driver, I drove past a red light in an area where a number of streets came together. I did it out of inexperience and confusion. Anyhow, the cop came over.

I put my head on the steering wheel, and started to cry. I told the cop that I was very confused, (which was true). He told me to relax, drive safely, and waved me on.

No. They were obviously fishing for easy money for the community.

note to self - crying works.

I have an international driver's license, so I always pull the "I'm new here" card... it's been working for 10 years...though i only drove maybe half of that time.

I had a good friend in high school whose mom was this really happy older black lady, a little heavy, with this great laugh that went kind of like "whoop" at first followed by a chuckle (hard to explain how great and contagious it was). Anyway, one day she got pulled over with us in the back and she told the cop "I'm sorry officer, I just wasn't paying attention, I had my Tina Turner on and I was just cruising and didn't even realize how fast I was going." And the whole time with that laugh. He couldn't be mad at her and he had to let us go. You could tell he just couldn't bare to bring her down even though she was already resigned to getting a ticket.

Since then, I find that being resigned to getting a ticket is the surest way to get let off. I've said things like "I'm sorry I just didn't notice how fast I was going" or "I guess I was just in a hurry to get home" and gotten off both times. I also used "I just got off the highway and I guess I didn't adjust my driving like I should have".

I was only pulled over twice. The first time it was a local cop in a small town I just moved to... Het had a power issue going on. I was about 24 or so at the time - probably looked about 15 and I wasn't familar with an intersection and mistakening turned on a red light.

He was actually mean and cruel and I was terrified. The a$$ gave me a ticket and it was obvious he scared the heck out me and I was simply made a mistake.

Remorse. Remorse 'll get 'em every time....

The other time I was a bit older 30 maybe and I was speeding on a side street in a different, but another small town I had lived in. I had a bad day and was speeding to the grocery store. As soon as I saw the lights I knew I was bagged. I pulled over and got my liscence and registration ready. I handed it over without a word.

The nice cute officer seemed stunned (because I didn't make an excuse and didn't say a word). He asked if I knew why he pulled me over. I said "Yes, I was speeding. It was stupid. I had a bad day at work and I was taking it out on the car." He asked where I was going and stuff. He starting referring to me by my first name and the shortened version - I knew I was off then.

He said "Don't do that. It is dangerous you could get hurt." Then he asked if I had any outstanding tickets. I said go and check, but I don't have any tickets. He didn't even check; he didn't even give me a written warning, he said just said be careful and take it easy.

Couple weeks ago:
Cop: Do you know why I pulled you over?
Me: Yes... I'm an idiot.
Do you know the speed limit here?
Me: Yes, 65
Cop: Do you know how fast you were going?
Me: (head somewhat hung, voice apprehensive) 75ish?
Cop: 83
Me: Oh, wow, I'm sorry.
Cop: …Is this car legal?
Me: Yes.
Cop: …
…
…I'm giving you a verbal warning. This could have cost you $###
Me: Thank you!

Key line I think was: I'm an idiot.

Time of the month matters too. If they need the ticket for their quotas you don't get warnings.

How I got my husband out of a ticket....

We're in the car with a brand new little baby in the back seat. I told my husband to turn down this street, a new short cut I discovered. There was a "Do not enter" sign, but it was only applicable during certain hours (basically rush hours). Then I realized too late it was those hours.

Of course there was a police car sitting right there. So I basically told my husband to blame me (rightly so). And I acted the dumb blonde part. With the dumb blonde as a wife and a new born in the back seat, the police let us go with a good laugh.