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Sooo....Im guessing Internet Dating actually DOESNT work....

 
 
mrhunt
 
Reply Mon 7 Jul, 2008 03:32 am
So I put a want ad on craigs list and get This very elaborate Phishing attempt....Someone Emails me acting like there interesting with a link to there photo...

When i click the photo it takes me to a weird scam dating site and then i find out its an automated script,Not a real person.

And then i Put a free profile on match.com To Have some 65 year old lady in Arkansaw "wink" at me (its an online thing of saying your interested in that person)

Wtf.....So im guessing the whole "internet dating" isnt Actually working for anyone? Or is it just me? Am i gonna be lonely for the rest of my life? dammit! I hate myeslfw! /Rant
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Bella Dea
 
  1  
Reply Mon 7 Jul, 2008 07:46 am
Well, using a site like craigslist ins't exactly the best idea for finding a date.

Try Match.com or eharmony. And pay for it. Get a real account.

A real dating site. Not a free-for-all classified ad site.
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Bella Dea
 
  1  
Reply Mon 7 Jul, 2008 07:48 am
I also suppose internet dating is similar to the "real thing" in that you win some, you lose some and sometimes you get a bunch of weirdos.
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Lash
 
  1  
Reply Mon 7 Jul, 2008 07:58 am
I have met some great people at an internet dating site, (and also have myself currently in a pickle due to same...LOL) but they can work. There are nice people there-- (laughing) Depending on your disposable income, you can travel to meet people--but BEWARE OF MOVING OR ALLOWING THEM TO MOVE TO YOU.

I went to True.com I met more chickie friends, but have also met several interesting men... They have an option that allows you to see people. We had such a blast. I instituted Cowgirl Hat Night and Hair Fluffing.

(I hope mentioning that is ok. I see other names of dating places here. I also used eHarmony. Had a blizzard of dates. It was fun.)
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worriedmom
 
  1  
Reply Mon 7 Jul, 2008 09:26 am
My opinion of internet dating is pretty low, that's probably because for me it was a total disaster. Seems that people find it hard to be honest about themselves. Most guys interested in me, turned out to be the ones still living in their parents basements! The worst one that I actually ended up meeting in person... he had recently been released from prison and was on parole, with a long criminal history and he happily stated that it was all for violent crimes. Ya I am done with internet dating. Although there is one site and I can't think of it off the top of my head, but they advertise on TV they do a really in depth process to find your ideal match and I have heard good things about them from other people. I wonder if I am destined to be lonely too. I sure hope not. I think I need to figure out a different way to meet people and I have been trying to live my whole life in a positive way. Sounds corny I guess but I think it may be true, we get back what we put out there. Right now I have a 4 and 6 year old so I think dating is out. It would be pretty hard to find someone to fit with all of us. Not many guys want to take on someone else's kids. Good luck in your search for a mate!
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Lash
 
  1  
Reply Mon 7 Jul, 2008 12:29 pm
I can see why you're worried!
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vikorr
 
  1  
Reply Fri 11 Jul, 2008 03:11 pm
A friend of mine met his wife on an internet dating site. They've been married about 6 years now.
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shewolfnm
 
  1  
Reply Fri 11 Jul, 2008 03:58 pm
Internet dating works.

So does craigslist.

It is like everything else, it takes time and work weeding through the people.

If you want to give up at the first try, then you will go no where.
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Diest TKO
 
  1  
Reply Sat 12 Jul, 2008 01:04 am
I have been doing pretty good on www.okcupid.com

I guess another factor for online dating is the proximity to areas concentrated with people on the site.

I've had several meet up and meet some fairly decent folk. I haven' met any bad dates yet, and I attribute that to a pretty detailed pre-screening I get on the site. The site is nice, because it constantly gives you ways to improve matches and is full of fun quizzes just for recreational use.

The site aesthetics are something to be desired. It feels like a pink facebook. lol. It feels young, but I can search for people in higher age groups and still get a considerably large number of hits in my area.

I can't speak for the quality of guy on the site, but the women I've met have been very nice and I've never felt like I met up with any false advertising.

T
K
O
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OGIONIK
 
  1  
Reply Tue 15 Jul, 2008 01:17 pm
i was at my old homegirls house and i noticed she was on craigslist.


shes hideous btw, and was using it for prostitution.

scary.
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Ragman
 
  1  
Reply Tue 15 Jul, 2008 02:09 pm
Re: Sooo....Im guessing Internet Dating actually DOESNT work
mrhunt wrote:

Wtf.....So im guessing the whole "internet dating" isnt Actually working for anyone? Or is it just me? Am i gonna be lonely for the rest of my life? dammit! I hate myeslfw! /Rant


I've been involved with single's sites off and on since 1993, more off than on. Before that when I was out of a committed relationship, I responded to singles ads since mid-70s. Needless to say, I've got lots of experience.

I haven't read others responses here so forgive me if there is repetition here. I've had good and bad success, but the for most part good. Craiglist is not a worthwhile or dependable place to put single or personals ad. I have had varying degrees of success with Match.com.

I have met dozens and eventually dated for more than year a person I met on Match. I have also made a lifelong friend from Match. On other sites I've met 2 women with whom I've had two 5-yr relationships.

Not only is it possible that you can meet someone, I dare say
it's probable when you do the right things.

The idea here to help ensure success is the 3 Ps:
Patience
Positiveness
Put yourself out there

Here are some guidelines and thoughts about dating, meeting and establishing online dating relationships:

Know ahead of time (think this out) who you want and who you don't want. Edit thoroughly your profile before you finalize it for the online audience. change it afterwards if it isn't getting you results or it doesn't read well. Have a friend look it over for purpose of editing or opinions (including your photos).

State something insightful and specific about yourself and your prospective date. No comments such as walking the beach, bowling, or romantic dinners unless you do them pretty often. Limit things like geographical range of partner, kids/no kids, pets/no pets, politics, religious beliefs/lack thereof, exercise habits and daily or weekend activities, Think about what REALLY matters most you.

Be humorous or entertaining somehow. Distinguish yourself in some way so people won't glaze over.

Read other's profile..both men's and women's. If you don't read them, you won't know your audience's needs and you won't know your competition.

Be brief but do tell meaning full info about yourself.

Be positive or sound positive in your ad. Then work to make yourself more positive. Nothing is sexier than a positive, confident, sincere person.

Be specific enough without sounding too absurd. If your not clear, you won't find suitable partner for your needs. If your not sure make out a list of must-haves and not-haves. if you don't want a non-smoker or someone without kids at home, make sure you state it or select that.

Change your ad text and pix periodically. Change or add good pix (clear, non-distracting, good color..smiling..no sunglasses...and where you are at least half of the picture or MORE. No pix of ex-partners..and no cropped out or removed partners. Put recent pix in the ad and get news ones that look like you. Avoid scenics of Grand Canyon or just ones of your dog/pet. People want to see you, not where you have been unless you're in it.

Respond to ads in a cordial, friendly manner. Be self-disclosing without dwelling on your life story. Careful about mentioning exes in a negative light, no matter what. Certainly you don't want to put exes down.
Mention them briefly..and generally. Don't dwell too much on sad events. We've all had sad stuff -- some worse than others. Save the details of sad stories for a time when you know each other longer and you know more about their lives.

Don't dominate the conversation..or talk about yourself exclusively at the expense of the other. Remember others really want to talk about themselves and sometimes avoid that or too shy. Find that out. Find ways f balancing the convo. Lear how to share the spotlight.

Arrange to meet in a neutral place that both of you can hear one another and with which both feel comfy. Try to make it half way between your residences if that's workable.

Time limit first 'coffee-meeting' (not a date) to an hour or so as this is wise for both. Then perhaps you can make a REAL date for immediate future if things are working out. Talk on phone in between, possibly. Sometimes people have trouble with saying no face-to-face. Give someone a chance to think things over so that you won't be avoided (phone tag...or no responses).

Sometimes people's lives change, minds change about romance and/or readiness for dating, or job/life circumstances change in a short timeframe. Sometimes people TEST you! (consciously or unconsciously). Don't get trapped by that. Sorry if this seems a bit odd logic, but 'Let them off the hook' and don't dwell on it too much. If you like them, leave the door open for them to return. If you don't like them, then no sense fretting or getting angry or being resentful. Don't be a doormat, but don't get worked up too much.

When you get discouraged (and you will), take a break - week, a month, 3 months - whatever it takes to regenerate the energy. After all, sooner or later if you don't get too scarred up, you will meet someone and take the chance. This, unlike job hunting, exposes your heart and inner emotions. It's not easy grounds to tread on or to be taken lightly. Needless to say, avoid all that treat it lightly or are inconsiderate to you or others (like their own family/friends).
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Ragman
 
  1  
Reply Tue 15 Jul, 2008 10:06 pm
hints
This excerpt is from a website that offered dating hints for men and a view about how some women see this online dating process:


"Women in general tend to be very analytical (I say this as an analytical female). We read into everything, whether men think it's fair or not. Unlike online dating, meeting face to face allows you to make up for a bad first impression, or reel a woman in with your personality, sense of humor, good looks, or great repartee. Online...not so much. We click "'delete" or won't reply to your message. Below are some common reasons why. And as a disclaimer, these may apply to women as well.



1. you don't capatlize when you right your message and use bad grammor.

If you can't take the time to capitalize the first word of a sentence, or run the spell check, then why should we take the time send a message or hit reply? Don't you want to make a good first impression? We see this refusal as pure laziness and apathy, two traits no one is looking for in a mate. TIP: write a message or profile in a word processor that underlines a misspelling, then paste it into the online program.


2. Your profile photo(s) leave(s) a lot to be desired.

Whoever said "looks don't matter" is a liar. Oh sure, ultimately personality wins over, but you need the initial physical attraction. Everyone has different tastes and opinions on what is attractive. But there are some mistakes many people make when it comes to their online photos, regardless of how they look:


A. If your profile photo was taken with a web cam, this is a problem. I have a hunch that a web cam would make Brad Pitt look like a homicidal maniac. The lighting is awful, the angle is never good, and it's just a bad idea! Don't do it!


B. Don't ever, EVER post a photo online with other women in it, especially if you cut out her face, but her arm is still around your shoulders. Can you say tacky? Sisters are okay, but specify that it's your sister in the photo caption.


C. Be smart about your photo and ask your sister, or mother, if they think it's a nice photo to post. Remember, this is your first impression! Don't have photos that are looking up your nose. Use your common sense!


D. Don't contradict. If your photo shows your double chin, but you describe your body type as "athletic," you're lying. Not a good way to start.


3. You begin every sentence with "I"

It's difficult to think of new ways to start a sentence when describing yourself. But when you start eight or nine sentences with "I" we notice, and it's a huge turnoff.


4. Showing embarrassment/inexperience about dating online.

Countless people, men and women, begin their profile description with "I've never done this before" or "I'm a little embarrassed to be doing this." We show no mercy if it's your first time or if you're not very comfortable yet. We're all in this online thing together, so saying you're a little embarrassed is insulting.


5. You bloviate.

Ideally, a perfect profile description is between 5-7 sentences, a sentence being no longer than 20 words. Don't describe your appearance; your photo does that. Don't say that people find you attractive: we will be the judge of that. Don't list every single hobby that you love, your favorite sports teams, and what you like to do at lunch. We like a little mystery, and you want us to inquire, right? So give us a little of what we want, enough to make us curious: What do you want a woman to know about you first? Do you like to party or are you the calm quiet type? What do you do for a living? Where do you see yourself in the future?


6. You like to flirt, but won't commit.


I think most dating sites have the flirting option, where you can "beam a smile" or "wink" at someone. It's a way of saying "I think you're interesting, but I'm too scared to send a message." I get it, no one likes to be rejected, even if it's online. But we're much more likely to respond positively if you write a little message and ask us a question. It really helps if your message is a cute one.

Online dating is tough. First impressions are so important, or we'll just browse to someone else, even if you are a great guy."
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mrhunt
 
  1  
Reply Thu 17 Jul, 2008 03:34 am
Thank you So much For your Advice! I think i WILL be Redoing my profile And Photo and maybe paying for a premium account on match.com Soon too.....Once i work through these Issues with my family Im going to Go For it again....

And i found out theres this speed dating place in my town that I was thinking of checking out too.....
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mysteryman
 
  1  
Reply Sun 27 Jul, 2008 11:29 pm
I only used one internet dating site, and that was about 5 years ago.
I met a wonderful woman, and we dated and then lived together for 4.5 years.
On July 4 of this year, we got married.

So it can work for some people, but I dont know if Stacy and I are the exception to the rule or the exception that proves the rule.

Anyway, dont give up.
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jespah
 
  1  
Reply Mon 28 Jul, 2008 03:40 am
Congratulations, mysteryman!
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Wilso
 
  1  
Reply Mon 28 Jul, 2008 04:06 am
I met my wife on the internet.
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Gala
 
  1  
Reply Mon 28 Jul, 2008 05:31 am
I have a happy Craigslist story-- A woman I know met her now live-in boyfriend on the site about 3 years ago. Prior to meeting him, she'd been married to her husband for a long time till he died of brain cancer.

About a year and half after her husband passed away she'd posted on the site giving detailed information about her interests, etc. As it turned out the guy she met is a musician who was in a band (I won't mention here) which was prominent in the 90s.

She said she had a number of misses before she met him. And, she was really happy.

I see her as an example of someone who took good care of her dying husband, grieved long and hard after his death and successfully got on with her life once she was ready.
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mrhunt
 
  1  
Reply Mon 28 Jul, 2008 05:48 pm
I had an idea to Well....

Theres this girl i know who's 25,married with a kid and she's really sweet and her husband just left her for another woman and she's clearly distraught about it....

I was thinking of casually Saying to her "wanna go out sometime" Or If she ever wants to talk just call me....Not even really as trying to Get to be with her but just maybe be a friend or something.....Maybe see where things go.

do u think thats a bad idea? At work She's so sweet and almost Kinda Hits on me lately since her housband left her saying Like "Would you hit on me?" or "do you think im pretty"? which i sorta Just try to chage the subject since im a manager there and its sorta innapropriate to answer but i dunno...
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Gala
 
  1  
Reply Tue 29 Jul, 2008 06:34 am
You might want to not act immediatly on this 25 yr. old. I'd say mostly because she sounds rather needy. At the moment, while you are wanting to hook-up with someone she seems appealing, but at some point this will lose its charm. Remember too, if you work with her and it soesn't work out, for whatever reason, you are going to be uncomfortable.

I'm concerned if you are a manager you may put your job in jeopardy if you go out with her. Is this the case?

In addition, you can still be supportive of her and be a friend.
0 Replies
 
Brandon9000
 
  1  
Reply Tue 29 Jul, 2008 06:44 am
One thing that you should probably take a look at is the ratio of men to women on any site you use. I understand that many of them have a very high male to female ratio, which means that men will have to work very hard to get enough responses. You might also try some form of chat room.
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