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Dagmaraka goes Dutch

 
 
dagmaraka
 
  2  
Reply Wed 10 Sep, 2008 11:13 am
@Walter Hinteler,
Didn't know you were a subscriber. ever been to any of the events?
Walter Hinteler
 
  2  
Reply Wed 10 Sep, 2008 11:18 am
@dagmaraka,
No.
dagmaraka
 
  2  
Reply Wed 10 Sep, 2008 11:43 am
@Walter Hinteler,
well, might be a good time. the next annual conference is in cyprus. that should be rather pleasant.
CalamityJane
 
  2  
Reply Wed 10 Sep, 2008 09:23 pm
@dagmaraka,
Your place looks nice, dag. I also like the color on your walls, brings out the
black and white photos really good. Having 2 roommates means having instant
friends which is a nice thing to have in a new city.

Are you glad having made this decision?
dagmaraka
 
  2  
Reply Thu 11 Sep, 2008 08:42 am
@CalamityJane,
So I spent half a day in Amsterdam. Lovely to just walk through to and from a meeting, have a lunch there. I can do this anytime now!!!

In fact, a high school and university classmate from Slovakia is in Amsterdam this weekend, so i will get to see a REAL friend for a bit.
ossobuco
 
  2  
Reply Thu 11 Sep, 2008 11:00 am
@dagmaraka,
Not to tag you with camera duty, but I'm always interested when you want to show photos.
littlek
 
  2  
Reply Thu 11 Sep, 2008 06:50 pm
@ossobuco,
Yes, pictures are required.
CalamityJane
 
  2  
Reply Thu 11 Sep, 2008 07:24 pm
@littlek,
....as inquiring minds want to know!
dagmaraka
 
  7  
Reply Sun 14 Sep, 2008 10:29 am
@CalamityJane,
Sorry folks, no Amsterdam. Though I tried to capture kids singing the Dutch version of "Are you sleeping, are you sleeping, brother John..." right under my window on a camera, not sure how it came out. It was cute, kids hopping about, singing loud. But my housemate came out and I had to duck, worried that he'd think i'm a weirdo with a camera monitoring the entrance or something...

RANT WARNING!!! If you are in no mood for whining, spewing and sputtering, cease to read now.

Sigh. There is no Amsterdam, because my old boss, the curse i thought i exorcised, ruined my day and my mood. I so swore to myself that I would not let this happen again No Matter What....but it happened. I nearly convinced myself, in fact I was waiting for the tram to get to the train station, but I felt exhausted and angry, and just all around blah.
The idiot is treating both my replacement and the new office assistant as ****. They are BOTH leaving. I was on the phone with M., my replacement, and what he's doing is just inexcusable.
At the Board Meeting last week he accused a colleague of ours (and a good friend of mine) of using our methods for his own work elsewhere without credit and for having some murky deal with the State Department where he doesn't need to apply for funding, just receives handouts. I could not believe my eyes. P. has developed his (truly wonderful and lifechanging) approach long before he met any of us. He works nights at Walgreens and spends all days writing proposals, running after money. He works incredibly hard, is super smart and motivated and reading about my boss saying these things just made me want to scream and get violent (yes, that IS the true inside of the conflict resolution business).
He is truly disrespectful and downright rude to both M. and the office assistant. He is curt, doesn't share information but expects for things to get done, blames them for everything though doesn't tell them enough about how to get things done (often they send me panicky emails and i have to calm them down and try to point them in the right direction from here).
He lies. He lies to the Board of Directors, to the incoming Executive Director, to M. and the office assistant, he lies to everybody. About how much money we have (inflating the budget with money we don't have...but he "anticipates"...god knows from where), about what we're doing (inventing some "programs" in Amsterdam that really just don't exist beyond him having few coffees with 2-3 people there)...
I've really had it. So, he ruined my weekend again and I am thousands of miles away. Too bad I need a few more months worth of extra salary to cover my debts, I really truly do. Must work on getting emotionally immune to hear the updates from the office there. How can one highly intelligent man be such a wuss, sucker, dumbass pain in the rear?
Gah. Must go for a long walk or a run at least. I miss boxing SO MUCH!
sozobe
 
  1  
Reply Sun 14 Sep, 2008 10:42 am
@dagmaraka,
Oh no, that's terrible!

I'm sorry that you still need to have any involvement. I was hoping that the move would be a cleaner break.

A few months more, you say?
0 Replies
 
ossobuco
 
  2  
Reply Sun 14 Sep, 2008 10:45 am
@dagmaraka,
I wonder how you say 'oh ****' in Dutch...

He sounds like he's devolving. I had a boss somewhat like that on a one year project. Luckily only a year.
dagmaraka
 
  1  
Reply Sun 14 Sep, 2008 10:49 am
@ossobuco,
i think the whole thing is collapsing and he's sensing it and is unable to cope. "The dying horse kicks the most" as they (Slovaks, of course) say.

What angers me is the fact that I let it have such impact on me here, that I allow it to ruin my Sunday. It's gorgeous outside, sunny and warm all day, which is a rare gift. I went out into the sun, tried to walk, but it was more of an angry pace and I found myself to be unable to enjoy it. THAT angers me. I should be able to overcome this in my mind, I am trained for that.
Gah.
0 Replies
 
littlek
 
  2  
Reply Sun 14 Sep, 2008 10:49 am
@dagmaraka,
It was painful to be there yourself, now you see how painful it is to watch him to it to other people.

Have they both reisgned? Or are they planning to leave? Will he close shop if they go? Will he continue to pay you? I ask because it may be in your best interest (few months double-pay) to make sure you keep everyone together.

Sorry you didn't make it to Amsterdam today. Sorry the man ruined your weekend. Can you sort of do fake boxing at home with a mattress?
dagmaraka
 
  2  
Reply Sun 14 Sep, 2008 10:53 am
@littlek,
I think M. will leave at the end of October. He doesn't know yet, but she told me today. C. (the office assistant) didn't say anything, but M. knows she's highly frustrated and offended by the boss's behavior (very rightfully, M. adds). And she feels that C. would quit soon - don't know if she mentioned it directly or it's just M's gut feeling, but i can imagine it to be true.

Yes, that is a good point, I let him treat me that way also, for far too long, and it does look absurd from the outside. I'm sure glad to not be working there anymore, though today I miss Cambridge even more than usual. And I miss Americans, I really do. And my friends, of course, most of all. That goes without saying.
Walter Hinteler
 
  1  
Reply Sun 14 Sep, 2008 10:58 am
@dagmaraka,
Well, I really can quite understand your feelings and won't start reminding you that you've a different job now in a far away country ...

Frère Jaques obviously has been translated in all languages, Vader Jakob, Vader Jakob, Slaapt gij nog? Slaapt gij nog? ... (I wonder what it is in Slovakian, couldn't find a translation online.)


There are some boxing clubs in Den Haag - I'm sure, they'll be proud to have you as a member!

0 Replies
 
CalamityJane
 
  2  
Reply Sun 14 Sep, 2008 11:00 am
@dagmaraka,
Oy, that's not productive how your old boss is conducting his business. Can't
you all write a report to his superior? He's just pouring sand into a cogwheel
which is counterproductive to any company.

As for your anger relief, try some darting - perhaps with a picture of your
old boss on it.

http://www.cartoonstock.com/newscartoons/cartoonists/rha/lowres/rhan371l.jpg
0 Replies
 
littlek
 
  3  
Reply Sun 14 Sep, 2008 11:00 am
@dagmaraka,
I think C. might want to put in a little more time, if for nothing else but her reputation. She spent how many months surveying the company? If she quits without spending some time trying, it wouldn't look really good on her resume.

Here are some things you don't miss about the area:
game day traffic
new students not following pedestrian protocol
new students vomit on the side walk (haven't seen it yet, know it's coming)
obnoxious drunks on the bus
plastic bags

Feel better?
dagmaraka
 
  3  
Reply Sun 14 Sep, 2008 11:18 am
@littlek,
haha. do NOT miss the students, that is for sure. But the plastic bags!!! Oy. This is The Continent of the Plastic Bag. People carry even their work stuff to plastic bags - the wallet, papers, lunch... all come in a plastic bag. If you don't have a plastic bag on you, you are not a good European.

And the smoking. People smoke and text on their cell phones while riding a bike and being drunk -- all at once! I saw three of those yesterday.
littlek
 
  1  
Reply Sun 14 Sep, 2008 11:21 am
@dagmaraka,
Ah well..... the students only then. They're bad enough!
0 Replies
 
littlek
 
  2  
Reply Sun 14 Sep, 2008 11:22 am
by the way, any insight to offer here? http://able2know.org/topic/122450-2#post-3401721
 

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