Dagmaraka goes Dutch

P. called me to talk about his work stuff (P. is the one accused of stealing our methods). I didn't tell him what the boss said about him, no need for that - I'll deal with the boss directly -- but I did get to vent about all the rest of it. That helps.

I have a wicked headache. sheesh.

just read through the whole darned thread and bawled right through the middle of it, especially the countdown part.

the big learning for today: only seeing things from the outside completes the picture. boston was a great place. my old jub sucked ass though. i still feel wounded by having worked there for so long.

It almost seems like an abusive relationship.

You're well and gone from there. Pity there are still some tentacles, though. If there is anyone, anyone at all, above this boss, they should be told what's going on. If nothing else, then for P. to be able to hold onto his/her reputation. Being accused of stealing methods/credit is pretty dang serious and shouldn't be dismissed lightly by the person being accused.

Since it seems D may have gone to bed......

The company is very small. There's the boss, 1-3 staff in the office, several staff in far-flung corners of the world, and the board of directors. There has been a mediator to work with the company in the past, but she gave up. One of the two new people was hired to help make the thing function more efficiently. She has access to all levels: employees, boss and board of directors. Now she seems to be ready to quit, if M is correct.

From where I stand, on the sidelines, the boss seems completely unwilling - almost unable - to take criticism, direction, suggestions, etc. And those are desperately necessary for the company to succeed.

Man oh man the true boss from hell. I wish there was more recourse. That kinda crap shouldn't happen to anyone.

i am in bed and asleep, since i am getting up early.


...but yes, it is a small company, and there's no boss of this boss. he treats the organization as the extension of his life, completely unable to see that it needs to be separate from his personality. in fact, one of the board members aparently told him "H., I am not willing to fund your hobbies" -- and that is truly how H. sees and treats this organization. Unable and unwilling to let anyone make it actually run like an organization.

C. is not the executive director, just office assistant, but i doubt that the ED would come on board if these two leave (and she has been taking her sweet time to decide. some 2-3 months already). i think i have to write a Very Serious Letter to H. and if he won't listen, i will have to figure out another way how to pay off the debt.

P. wants me to do the Armenian Azerbaijani work with them and that's where my heart is. If we get a few projects funded, I will certainly not need nor want H. anymore for a single extra minute.

Interesting morning here.
I am missing one package out of six... I located the slip for the missing package and tracked it on the USPS website. It said they attempted to deliver it on the 6th, but failed (they tried too early). So off i went to the post office, but they didn't have it. The lady was very helpful, calling a number of other post offices for me to see if they have it. Then she calls me that this package was delivered already, so it must be another one that I'm missing. OK, i'll just find the right slip....

Uh oh. Flashback to Friday.... I am cleaning my desk, throwing out all the outdated project papers...and slips from the packages I already got.... But one of them is the missing one, the one I need! They take trash out in the morning, so I go looking for the cleaning lady to see if she still has the trash. I find her scrubbing the toilets.

She is Dutch. Does she speak English? No. And she's deaf, she's gesticulating. This should be interesting. I try to explain with my hands and feet that I need to look through the big bag of trash... No. She doesn't get it... So together we walk to the nearest office...happens to be the United Nations High Commissioner for Refugees liaison office for the Netherlands. I explain to them what I need, and the whole office talks at the Dutch lady in Dutch, until she understands. Great, now the whole floor knows I need to dig into the trash bag and partakes in the spectacle. She gives me rubber gloves, and into it I dig...through the banana peels and coffee filters and stuff.... all the way to the bottom, where the package slips rested....smelly but intact.
Good start.

3 secret birthday parties to go to this week. What's up with the Dutch and secrecy? wouldn't a regular ole birthday bash be just dandy enough? 3 of them in one week!!!

eeeewww... did you find the right slip and get your last box?

Maybe the co-workers don't realize they have a birthday coming up. Don't you think once one secrete BD party was accomplished, that the other two would catch on?

Hey, I saw a kid wearing a Bratislava t-shirt in school today. I'd been meaning to ask him if he was slavic because of his last name (distinct lack of vowels). He was born here two years after his parents moved from Slovakia.

cool. tell him "Strc prst skrz krk" for me. Really, it is a sentence. Stick a finger through your throat is what it means.

The Dutch are blunt, very blunt. They say exactly what is on their mind and social consequences don't seem to even come to their mind, let alone bother them.
S. is a young colleague of mine. 7 years my junior, not that it matters at all. He's living with his girlfriend. But we get along great, joke and tease each other. the usual stuff, not that uncommon, i think.
Today, at the Secret Party #1, we were asked AGAIN, if we're a couple. No no no, we assured the lady. That was not good enough for her. "Because you look so nicely at each other," she added unnecessarily, making an awkward situation Really Awkward..... "Yes, we are good colleagues," S. tried to lighten up the heavy air. Ack, that would be enough for a moron to quit, but not for a Dutch person at a social event......she went on and on about how we look at each other and smile and pay attention to what the other says, like a couple in love. I didn't even consider any of that before, frankly it didn't even cross my mind. And it still doesn't. .. For the first time in my life I was genuinely yearning to be wearing clogs, so that I can give her a resolute kick in her shin...It was painful and endless. Then she stole my wine glass by mistake.
In fact, it all makes sense now. I think the Dutch are just a bit more hardy folk than the rest, a tad less subtle....so they navigate each other with the use of clogs in social situations. "I can't believe she just said that"...and WHAM! -kick her in the shin to correct her behavior. Yes, I'm sure that's what the clogs are for.

Good grief, no social monitors.. but perhaps that's a generalization not borne out by evidence. Or...

I have to say, Americans can be as socially awkward.... Or maybe it's just my family.

The kid is already a total loner (not by choice, I don't think). I'd like to say something more pleasant than stick a finger in your throat.

People photos! This is my team, en route to a surprise birthday party for our boss. The surprise birthday parties seem to be the most favorite Dutch pastime.


Boss, J. and S. Surpriiiiiiise!


Lunch at the office...a daily event. A very nice one, I must add.

Today is the Prince's Day: opening of the Parliament. Queen has the State of the Union type speech and they parade her around in a golden coach (I was disappointed though... I kept hearing golden couch and was excited to see the Queen being paraded around on a coach carried by some muscular half naked men... ok, maybe uniformed, but they would have to be strong).


we saw lots of horses for a long time


When the wind orchestra started eating lunch, we started suspecting we may not see the queen very soon.

they made us hungry. we went off to search for food instead.


of course, it had to be something Very Dutch. The frites with mayo, what else.


That would be them. I must say, they are damn good...but I'm a Slovak, potatoes of any kind speak to me.


Oh yeah. The Queen. We nearly forgot her. That there golden speck in the distance, that's her. And the Girl with the Pearl Earring painting is in that building there. Can't wait to go see it!

aawww, such nice pictures, dag. Isn't it nice to be back in Europe?
Your co-workers seem lovely and I like the idea that you all do things together,
even lunch, though the surprise birthday parties wouldn't be my cup of tea either.

Great photos - thanks, they tell a lot about what's going!



I'd thought, you'd go to the exhibition of the ideal man in the Gemeentemuseum first

hooray hooray

(I love the pic of the 4 of you - 3 with scarves)