perception wrote:Hobit's : [..] Was clearly meant to provoke so I replied in kind.
Why, though?
(Hi again. Thanks for your compliment above ;-).)
I mean, I dont mean to sound flippant. But why would you have to "respond in kind"? Why not just let it go?
Cause that could have all kinds of advantages:
1. When a topic is dear to our heart, we get oversensitive, and we often perceive a deliberately hurtful insult where there was only an ironic jab, and an ironic jab where perhaps no putdown was meant at all.
I mean, I think this goes for many of us - I grapple with it, for sure. The consequence is, that if we "reply in kind" to something we might well have 'overestimated', our reply will come down to upping the ante. And considering the other guy will suffer from much the same reaction, he's likely to do the same - and escalation tends to be instant on the web.
Better keep on the safe side and sometimes just assume that, even if the other guy was jabbing at you, he might well not have meant it the way you took it. Saves a lot of follow-up aggro you can do without.
2. Follow-up advantage here is that you'll quickly find out if there is someone who's
really out to get you. Since those who didnt mean anything serious in the first case, will not follow up if you dont respond, those who
do continue to heckle you without provocation will stand out all the more clearly. And its always good to recognize your true enemies among the multitudes of those who are merely sceptical.
3. Important one: if they did show unnecessary aggro towards you, and you dont respond or respond in good nature, its
they who look bad, while you'll seem a wiser person. With the added benefit that you'll then eventually be listened to more seriously on other threads and topics as well. You dont have to roll over: just stick to arguments when they do insults. You'll be the winner.
3.a. Variety on above: if you dont react to what they might have said wrong, you wont just have the readers on your site, but the moderators, too. Like they said, they dont care who started something. That means that as soon as you "respond in kind" to anything resembling a violation of the TOS, you're as deep in trouble as your 'challenger'.
4. I assume that you're here to discuss topics of interest to you. Any "responding in kind" will distract from whatever it was you had wanted to talk about, especially if your detractor insists on "responding in kind", too. Food fights can be fun, but its a pity about your thread.
"Responding in kind" just makes sure you're not worse than your detractor.
Not responding in kind makes sure you're better than your detractor. :-D
I'm sure this post will be perceived as pedantic and condescending. <grins>. (Not to mention showcasing a recklessly liberal world view. I wasnt much one for the arms race of the 80s, either). But I know I didnt mean it to be - so there wont be any need for me to respond if I get aggro about it ;-).