HOW DO YOU ENRICH YOUR SOCIAL SKILLS? PLEASE HELP !

come on please help come on

Many hundreds of times, I've heard women complain about men approaching them. "Eewwww, What a creep! What a jerk." Only about three times in my life I've heard a woman say she was glad a man approached her. That's over 500 complaints versus 3 appreciations.

It's considered rude, so I just don't do it.
Forget about it.

Oh come on, CB! It depends on how you do it.

Mr.E, if you haven't taken a look at the thread on pick-up lines, you should do that and then *not* use any of those. Oh, and you don't have to tell a girl she's cute right away -- just walking up and starting a conversation says that for you. I personally would recommend you keep your comments on what's going on around you, like "That band is pretty good, you think?" or "So how do you know whoever is having this party?" You'll know if she's interested or not right away, I'm sure.

I think that it just takes practice. Everyone says stupid stuff -- just learn how to laugh at yourself when that happens, and make people laugh with you instead of at you.

I'm not sure if you're just talking about being shy around girls or around everybody including girls, so in case it's around everybody, you might consider a job that requires you to be outgoing, like retail. That way, you have to be friendly, and get a lot of practice with it.

Hope that helps a little -- good luck.

'It depends on how you do it' depends on who you do it to.

The 'want me' 'don't want me' game women play is such that you need to let them try to figure out what the hell it is they want or decide not to care about their complaints when they are in the middle of changing their minds.

It's one of God's jokes that he made men know what they want and women know only that what they want is transitive.

What in my experience has worked best with the fickle sex is casual disinterest in the beginning. BE polite, but don't kiss up.

Boys tend to overdo this and go to the extreme by being mean, that is stupid. But so is doting.

Casual disinterest. See, as much as they complain about being approached disinterest is not preferrable. Use it as a starting block. Approaching strangers is a way to get a lot of 'no' and an occasional 'yes'. But with aquaintances start with casual disinterest, always polite and friendly but with no indication of desire.

Once rapport is built playful flirting etc will establish what you do next.

You sound a little jaded, Craven!

Not at all. I'm used to it and wouldn't have it any other way. Someone has to make the game nonsensical.

asking their opinions and LISTENING to the answers goes down well with most people.

it then gives you something to bounce back from to keep the conversation flowing.

cravens casual disinterest isn't as jaded as it sounds - normal conversation and treating a person as a PERSON rather than as somebody you are lusting after!

heehee...I'm so glad I'm not single any more -- it was fun but yeah, nonsensical.

Vivien has it. The idea is not to give a cold shoulder. The idea is to treat the gal politely but without showing desire initially.

Some gals will go out of their way to invoke the desire then, but most if not all will at least be less defensive.

I agree, Vivien -- just joking about Craven being jaded.

Rent the movie The Tao of Steve. It will explain everything, and you will be inundated with females in no time.

Good luck!!!

Littlek had a thread about three months ago (How to meet people?) from a woman's side of it. Maybe you can get some ideas there too!

My response was the same there (link here) and seemed to get a lot of nods. Hmmm.

Please don't listen to codeborg. He's not even really human.

First off, if it is a pick-up situation, just say "Hi" and ask permission if you can sit down and talk for a bit. Establish commonality, as LibertyD suggested, by finding interests that you share. Also, I agree with Sofia, rent 'The Tao of Steve'. Another thing, if it doesn't work the first time, move on with a firm sense of "she wasn't worth it"....don't fall apart. :cool:

Now this isnt a problem with me because I'm the most outgoing non shy guy around i go up to strangers all the time saying hi, the point is if it ends up bad... they don't know you no big deal if it ends up good your not single any more its a win-neutral situation either you win or your the same as you were before.

and cavfancier i love your avatar

I think the post CodeBorg linked to is right on! A wee exaggeration but otherwise right on the money.

You have to stop worrying about what to say, and work on how you say it. You've got to build up your confidence. Try to start conversations with as many people as you can. Strike up stupid little conversations with waitresses, sales reps at stores, ect. You could even try to get a job in sales, or customer service to build up your oral communication skills.
Don't worry about what to say to women, because it's not about saying the wrong thing, it's how you carry yourself. And if try talking to a girl who gives you a cold response...who cares?
Once you get the confidence thing going, you can start pulling off Slappy approved lines like "your parents must be retarded...cuz you're special."

Lol, can i use that pickup line slappy.