Death

Black tulip

I found this thread just now & have read it right through.

I have no words of wisdom to offer. I find it very hard to comprehend the enormity of what you've been through. But I feel so much sympathy for your situation. You have been very honest & very brave. (Yes, brave, though you probably don't think so.)

You know, I think you'll come out of this OK. It'll take time, but you will do it. Hang in there.

My very best wishes to you.

Thanks msolga, we'll get there with all the strength I can muster and A2K holding my hand.X

How are your children coping now, Black tulip?

They are remarkable. My son still sleeping with me (he's 10) as he feels safe that way. He has been getting a little ratty at times but is understandable. My daughter says she can not cry her body won't let her (she's 12), although she has had a few tears. She is like a mother (role reversal) when she see's me upset she cuddles me and rubs my back.

They are brilliant children and I am glad to have them.
Thanks for askingX

They sound like really good kids, Black tulip. You & your husband must have done something right in their upbringing!

Please accept my Condolences Black Tulip.
Just wanted to caution people who are concerned about clinical depression. This phase of grieving is what would clinically be depression. Depression should not be diagnosed for atleast 6 months.
I lost someone and for a while kept questioning why I did not die instead of her. Wrote it in my Journal too....

I never thought I would smile again but I do, knowing now that what I experienced was the Purest form of Love. Allow yourself .....

Thanks Dr Mom, When grief over comes me it is so sudden and can cry uncontrollably then it can go as quick as it comes. I do things around the house to physically tire me which helps but sometimes that backfires being over tired and unable to sleep.

Yes I will smile again but this certainly is a life changing experience that I don't recommend. I will never be the person I was but my children keep me going.
X

Yes I was unable to sleep even with the sleeping pills then I just stopped taking them. It is horrible feeling being overtired and still unable to sleep. Yes, I felt the love of my children kept me going and the love for her makes me want to do the right thing.

You said you will never be the same person, that is exactly what I thought that part of me died with her. It took more than a year to see that part of her actually lives with me.....

Hi Dr Mom, thank you for your kind words.

thought I'd share the photo of where my husband's ashes are interred:

Black tulip--

I thoroughly approve of the primroses.

Thankyou Noddy, how are you doing today? And is Mr N behaving himself?
X

Black tulip--

Mr. Noddy put some new bolts in the front steps, in between naps. He's complaining of pain.

I don't have the words to reach out the way others on a2k have, but, I want you to know I feel your pain. In time, life will be better for you and your children. I am truly sorry for your loss.

Thanks Edgarblythe, just knowing I have people out there, anytime is really helpful and that is the great thing about A2K. It is fantastic and has kept me going.

hi bt

I just read the first page of this thread. Of course I had no idea, I came across you on other threads.

So very sorry.

I do hope things are becoming clearer after the recent trauma. (but then they probably are not). It will take a long time. But I think it will come.

Best wishes

Hi Steve

thanks will get there somehow. Still have got A2k to keep me goingX

you got more than that gal!

see you on board ship later...gotta go out in the pouring rain to buy a barbeque set (special offer cos of the rain)

s