how do i start back at the beginning?

My husband and i do not share a home. We have been looking for one for a while. Where we live is my dads old house, and i am sorry, but i am not moving out for his sake. he can move to his parents or wherever, but i am not making accomidations and leaving MY life just because he is home.

i have a cell phone for that reason alone already. He still calls me at all hours and if i dont answer, he will call... oh i dont know, 6-10 times in a row, and will leave me irate voicemails.

But, i guess i do have to be the one to make the changes because so far my husband has been adverse to any changes.

Should i tell my partner about my decision to get a divorce. I just want to know your opnions on this issue.

We had no way to know that....still it sounds like a problem. You should talk to legal aid to see if there is anyway to head off a confrontation where you will need to call the police to get him removed. You need professional advise, as this could get ugly.

Black Unicorn--

Sit tight--but be sure that he has some place to go once he learns he's not going home with you.

This is one of the last "wifely" tasks you'll ever have to perform.

Depends on where he has been. If he is coming back from Iraq or Afghanistan "sitting tight" is bad advise. these guys com back sexually deprived, feeling a sense of entitlement, and with 20-30% PTSD rates. coming back to a wife who has cheated and wants a divorce tends to be a very bad scene. Her not letting him come "Home" is even worse. He is known to be angry.....the physical abuse rates in these cases is very high.

Hawkeye--

You are probably right about this guy's approach to marital problems.

Finding him a place to sleep eliminates one major source of friction--particularly if the crash pad comes with someone who will listen.

And once you've found him a place to sleep, change the locks on your place.