Feeling vulgar.

Nods to wolfie.

Gee, I'd like to see if she acted this freely about sex without being "mashed"

Alcohol reduces inhibitions. "Be careful out there" - you are being careful, aren't you?

Good for you! Going without sex can make a person pretty grouchy and out of touch with simple tasks sometimes. Should be no guilt. Just do be careful. Take what precautions ya need to. And enjoy!

Hi Osso,

Are you not still an explorer now (only just in different ways) ?

I mean, as we move through life, don't we experience new and wonderful things, and sometimes hard and awful things, and each and every one of them we learn from and hold as a memory, and these things enrich our present lives...and are we not still yet, constantly experiencing new things, and exploring life?

Yes, Vik, that is true. A tad sanguinous in description, but essentially true.
That has been my mode, whatever frailties or strengths the mode has, and not from others' instruction. (I've been an instruction avoidant. I may be who I am in part from working out my instruction repellance.)

Back to Sully, sure sex happens more easily with inhibition letdown. Alcohol is one way. So is sheer joy.

But..

Alcohol is a component when parties lose their minds. Not least re where ambivalent consent happens. Sometimes a loud 'NO' is not heard or heard as just one more noise. It's hard enough to pinpoint rape when alcohol has no part.

None of that is funny. Pay attention to your state of mind, y'all.

I first read that as "Alcohol is a component when panties lose their minds."

That too.

PQ--

As long as you're protecting yourself against pregnancy and STD's, I see no problem with your social life.

Exactly why are your friends concerned?

hmmm...

I'm strangely comforted by some comments in this thread. Most of which are from A2K's more wiser female info-troupe. I'm strangely comforted by how honest and unapologetic you approach this subject.

PQ is about my age I think (college age or a few years out?) and I know my female friends have similar feelings of guilt etc. I tell them that they shouldn't be so hard on themselves, but they don't want to be thought of as being "that way."

I don't envy being a young woman. However, hearing the comments by ossobuco and shewolfnm make me feel like there is a light at the end of the tunnel for those who feel apologetically vulgar for what is perfectly normal and anything but unnatural.

T
K
O

women... always letting your vaginas do your thinking for you....

And thinking I'm just some piece of meat you can take home, do your thing with, then never call...never write...IS BREAKFAST REALLY OUT OF THE QUESTION????

I'm fragile.

Thanks guys,
Os, I loved your post.
In some respects I think I'm thinking beyond my actions. I know what I'm doing at the moment isn't particularly sensible, and that I should probably party less, but at the same time, there is something so cathartic about it- I know it's just something I've got to get out of my system.
It's natural to believe fazes are real- but I'm not fooled by this one. I know it's just something I need to do until I start wanting something different.

I think a lot of it is to do with upbringing, and the effect of pre-existing social ideas and concepts.
Diest, you said a lot of your friends don't want to be thought of 'that way' and feel quite similar to me.
There is an accepted ideology in most cultures that it is accepted for a man to sleep around, but not a woman. I think that at the back of my mind I'm influenced by this, and your friends are too.
I easily feel guilt at what I do on a night out. Especially with the nature of hetorosexual sex, it's easy for a woman to feel penetrated, befouled, used, etc.
Maybe if I was sleeping with men to win their love, or gain self worth, then this would be the case, but I think it depends the view you take.
If I'm just doing it for laughs then I can feel empowered, autonomous, etc. Im getting what I want and I shouldn't feel abused.
It's an old wives tale that men the seducers and women are the seduced.

Noddy, you asked why my friends worry. It's mainly because when I go out I'm an out of control wanker, and they feel responsible for me.
I should stop getting so wasted, so that I'm in more of a position to make the right decisions.

Oh, yeah, I'm against wasted, as, ahem, a general rule. Very much something to get past, she says, sipping her Chianti. Blotto does no good, in in terms of exploration. It's a little self enlightening, the first few times, but to what avail? (I did once have a thread on abuzz called Alchohol and Creativity. Might even have saved it on some disc. Seriously interesting comments, to me at least.) Blotto also gets to be some kind of pulse, and not a useful one.

I remember a resident when I had a lab telling me that people who changed under alcohol were very inhibited in life otherwise. This seems a truism, however it works out re statistics. But I take it that it's more useful to be more freely yourself without it. I've been working on that.

Thing is, the difference in all our ages is huge, but the time between flies.

PQ--

I'm more inclined to worry about the drinking than the bed sampling.

Have any of your one-night lovers been problems in the morning? Do you feel used or mutually satisfied?

I see the wimmins callously ignored Slap's cri de coeur--a sensitive new age guy like Slappy as feelings, too, ya know . . .

I enjoyed it, I just dint say nufffin. Well, I enjoyed it as repartee, but it's also true, um, sometimes. Men have feelings too.

Urg.
Ok, so it's been 11 months now.
I STILL feel guilty.
It's a hopeless gender divide that will never fade. A man sleeps with a lot of women and he's seen as a championing hero, able to bend women to his will, an achiever.
A woman sleeps with a lot of men and she's seen as a crawling wretched whore selling her body in a pathetic attempt to get attention.

Well that MAN is me.
And that WOMAN is probably what a load of people see me as.
Thats how I'm feeling anyway.
I still can't shake of the guilt, it's so frustrating.

Wow, Long time no see PQ. Sorry to ear this. I'm in the opposite situation. I've been single since Dec, and I've barely dated less had many bedroom sports, and I feel guilty as hell just because she has a hard time moving on.

I guess I don't know the people where you live though.

T
K
O

Ah, yeah, I havne't been posting so much because this new **** confuses me.
But thanks for missing me! And I like what you've done to your profile, I think it's nice to see a tiny bit about peoples lives, although I understand why many oppose that.

Well I live in London now with loads of liberals. I think i feel guilty because i grew up protestant. I swear that must be the root of it. Well, it's annoying anyway.
You feel guilty because you've moved on and your ex hasn't? I suppose. Does she know about your adventures?