I am recently married....need some help!

Work was good, we got a lot accomplished and I did the best in my training class. I am excited about it.

As for the ex, he's not helping the situation much but I have let that go, I hope he and the fat pig have a wonderful Valentines Day together! They deserve each other....both liars.

My old boss is being a jerk, but I won't get into that on this thread. I will save it for later on my actual work thread!

Go, girl.


Don't get down to their tactics. Act well and smartly. Life will improve (surely it's bound to, eh?)

Hellokitty--

At least your Ex is not going out of his way to make you realize what a wonderful man you're doing without.

Your new job seems excellent therapy.

Echoing Osso, "Go, girl! Go!"

No my ex is making things harder for him. I am fine with everything, I can't say that I don't miss him, but I don't miss the worrying and aggrevation.

Of course I wonder how I will meet people when I am ready, that do not have kids. I love kids but I don't want to go through being put last. Not trying to be selfish but one without kids has a harder time understanding. I am sure you understand what I mean.

HelloKitty--

Stepchildren and Money are the two big reasons that second marriages fail.

Obviously you're not one bit anxious to have re-runs of Weak Man, Super Daddy, but don't rule out all men with children just yet. Childless men are not guaranteed problem free.

Not to butt in with unwanted advice, but right now you're very susceptable to any con man (without kids) who wanders down the road. This month you've lost your grandfather and your husband and understandably you feel alone and shaken.

Don't put yourself in a nunnery, but be aware that you're vulnerable to kind words and sweet gestures. Take awhile to rediscover yourself before you head back to the dating game.

Good luck.

Noddy,

You always seem to know just what to say and your words have helped me through a lot of my hurdles.

I appreciate all you have been doing for me over the past month or so. You seem to keep me in line!

I am rediscovering myself and what I like to do, just a little lonely at times since I would spend my lonely days with my grandfather.......we would sit and talk about everything. He's the one I miss the most. I can say I miss my ex, but I feel good even without him. His daughter's mother can deal with his crap, they deserve each other. Both liars!

HelloKitty--

Good for you. You know the difference between "loss" and "heartbreaking loss". Furthermore, you've figured out that your Ex hasn't changed just because he's left you. He has all the bad habits that he had during your brief marriage--plus the rational that he can postpone everything because he's confused.

I feel sorry for your step daughter, but I think you're well out of an unsatisfactory marriage.

Keep cheerful.

I haven't posted in a while. Just been busy with work and finding what makes me happy. Talked to my ex a couple times because of tax season and you know what, I thought it would be hard to talk to him and I would miss him....but I don't. Part of me likes talking to a familiar voice, but thats really about it.

Weekends are a little tough because I am use to doing things with him. But its not about him that I am missing on weekends, its just about doing something and being out with people. Most of my friends work crazy hours and don't get the weekends off.

I have a small question, but I will start a new thread for it since it has to do with a new part of my life....not this old mess!

Hellokitty--

You're obviously a survivor.

By the by, thanks for your earlier kind words. Back in the late '70's I went through a nasty divorce with very little emotional support of any kind. I swore a mighty oath to be helpful in similar situations. I'm glad to know that I have helped.

Noddy,

I would read over and over again what you would say and it just stuck. I put all my effort into work and making me happy. I am so grateful to have someone help me and keep me strong.

I am a survivor and with someone like you out there, it makes it easy!

Hellokitty--

Thanks for the kind words.

I'll see you on your other thread.

Haven't posted much on this thread in a while because it was a mute point. But now my soon to be ex has been calling me almost every night to talk to me just about nothing in particular. Why do you think he suddenly is doing this? He went from ignoring me when I had to talk to him, to him calling me just to say hi.

I would like for us to be friends, but part of me thinks that this might not be a good idea for me to take his calls right now after everything I went through with him. I feel like I am getting on the right track with my life and things are going well. Should I try and cut all conversations off with him or is this a normal thing?

I know that I won't be falling for him or anything but I do get very irritated when I start thinking about what he may be doing with his daughters mother. Thats because I don't understand why he wants to be with her after all the crap she put him through. I dont want to move backwards at all but sometimes I feel like I need to complain to him about what he put me through.

Its hard for me to explain those emotions....I guess I just need to know what I should do and maybe some signs to look out for so I don't move backwards.

And now he is...My first thought was that perhaps your ex is miffed at how well you're managing without him -- quite a blow to the ego! He may be trying to stir up a bit of drama to make himself feel better: "Look how much she misses me!" etc. Maybe you could be too busy to talk when he calls? That cuts the call short and lets him know you're not sitting around moping. (He doesn't have to know "busy" is another word for "ironing" )

HelloKitty--

I suspect your Ex wants to have his cake and eat it too. He wants his "freedom"--and he wants your listening ear.

Are all the necessary papers signed? Do you need his listening ear? If you suspect he's comparing your listening ear with the listening ear of the mother of his daughter, you're probably right.

Remember, a man with your best interests at heart wouldn't have slept with his daughter's mother and wouldn't have left you the week your grandfather died.

Be friendly, but as Tai Chi suggests, "busy"--too busy to hang on the phone with him.

So my ex has been calling me every single night. I haven't been answering the phone like you mentioned. But I have to because he needs to finish taxes and he doesn't have my SSN. I had tried to give it to him before but he's never around paper. I think its his way to keep calling me.

I am trying to be nice so that he will send me the divorce papers but at this point, I don't want to talk to him anymore and I really haven't. My grandmother went out of town for month to CA to visit her sisters and he knew about it from a while ago and I have a feeling that he is going to show up while she is gone. Its a 5 hour drive for him and if I were him, I wouldn't waste all that gas and time because I have no reason to see him.

There were rumors that he and his daughters mother were engaged already and all of her friends (and her) keep emailing me to tell me how happy they are and all of what they do. It's so childish. If she only knew that he was calling me constantly, she would have a fit! Sometimes I just want to let her know so that she would just fly off the handle at him...I would highly enjoy that. Would any of you do that? I mean he is annoying me and calling constantly to the point of it being ridiculous now. I think if she knew, he might just leave me alone because he knows I would normally never speak to her.

HelloKitty--

Why don't you threaten him with telling the Mother of His Child that he's been calling far too frequently and that you wish he would stop it?

Glad to hear that life is going well for you. Your grandfather must have considerable clout as a Guardian Angel.

I have told him that he needs to not call like he has been. It doesn't seem to work. I mentioned that I should tell his daughters mother that you call me all the time. He says that he doesn't care and its because he knows that I normally wouldn't. He knows that I am not the type to start something like that, but I might have to.

When I needed to speak with him after he left, it would take him 3 days to return my messages. Now he expects me to answer for him as soon as the phone rings. If I do not answer the home phone (he just started to call that since my grandmother isn't around), he will call the cell phone. If I don't answer either, I have some crazy message about how I am out with my new boyfriend. It's so annoying. I tell him that I am not like him...jumping from one relationship to another.

He didn't call last night, BUT it was Saturday and they were probably out together somewhere. It's still early yet, he may call this morning. I will only answer to give him my SSN because I am not going to get blamed for not being able to finish his taxes.

Kitty--

Keep a pencil and paper by the phone, get his address and send him a postcard with your SSN.

Or, to be nasty, send it to his Poopsie's address and add a PS about not calling anymore.

A wise one that Noddy sure is!

Thankfully tax season is over and he and I don't need to talk anymore! But he sent me an email to my cell about all these random thoughts and how things are just not going his way. He must of realized he made a mistake. I don't care if did, its not my problem.

His daughters mother still says they are together and all these things they do together and its so stupid. He says its a lie. She is crazy but I don't think she can make up all of the things she says. I do not care, I just want divorce papers and to be rid of him. It's what he wanted and now that he got what he wanted, he's not moving on it.

Its crazy. I am sure he will call tonight and I told him to only call me if he has divorce papers to send!