Birth control for long term relationships

Cypher, glad you brought up the subject of condoms again.

Not to sound like an uber feminist, but what's wrong with the man taking the responsibility of birth control?

True story…I was at the gym once, exercising next to a young woman, maybe 19. There was a news story on some woman who'd had a bad time with several BC methods. I said to the woman "I wonder why she just doesn't use condoms?"

She gave me this real "Duh…." Look and said…."She's in a Monogamous Relationship and doesn't have herpes"

I thought maybe I had missed something and said "Condoms aren't just for disease control. They're also to prevent pregnancy you know"

She said something about knowing that, but there was this feeling that she thought that was SO old fashioned and only an old crone like me would imagine that's what they were used for.

If you don't want babies, and are concerned about your wife's health, why don't you wear a rubber?

Well, speaking of old school, I used a diaphragm to space my two pregnancies and then again for 5 years after my youngest was born while my husband and I hemmed and hawed about whether we wanted another child. At that point he had a vasectomy. I don't know whether I was unusually conscientious or just lucky but it worked for me. If it's properly fitted you really don't know it's there. You sure don't hear too much about diaphragms these days, and obviously from a disease-prevention standpoint condoms are the way to go, but in a committed relationship, they can be a good compromise for a guy who hates condoms and a woman who prefers a non-hormonal birth control method. (Besides, they're reusable -- much more environmentally friendly :wink: .)

Chai, that's true-- there is the whole "Oh, those are only for disease prevention" idea, which is so silly... And then of course they're less popular because of how many guys just don't like the idea of them. Or like Jazzie's husband, just can't be bothered; it's easier to just refuse and make her keep being the responsible one... *sigh*
(Lots of guys that aren't like that, of course -- clearly mochit is taking an active role in figuring out what'll work best for both of them, so I'm not talking about him or anything, just to be clear!)

...I had a class last semester where we talked about who's responsible for birth control and whether it's fairly divided, and I was surprised how many *men* in class were the ones who said they think it's pretty common for guys to be less than helpful about taking part of the burden... we were talking about the new male version of the Pill that they're working on, and the guys said they thought very few men would be willing to be the one to mess with their body chemistry... it was an interesting discussion.

Regarding the men who don't like the idea of them (read, it doesn't feel the same), it's amazing how quickly they come to like them when they know that's the only way they're going to get any.

Not dumping on mochit, it just seems, well, unfair not to include them in the birth control discussion.


oh, on the light side, it always cracked me up when the wrapper says "ribbed for her pleasure", like these 1/2 millemeter ribs are gonna set her over the edge.

Yeah, I know! What's up with that ribbed condom crap?

I agree Chai. I think the men need to start taking some responsability in the birth control department.

Didn't I hear of a birth control pill they came out with for men or am I flashin?

If we could get pregnant, by God there would be a pill....

RH

Well, they've either come out with a male pill, or they're close to it... I know it's in development at least, I think it might be in the FDA approval stages..?

I think the frogs have it. (they get all the sex drugs first)

Francis?

I've been hearin about that male pill for years now, so what's the hold up?

We've got to get a woman in there to move that pill along!

Ha! I always worry about animal testing, so until I saw Francis' name there I thought you were talking about actual frogs... was trying to figure out why they'd make particularly good sex drug test subjects...

You women crack me up!!




I'm on the side with Cyphercat, I can't take B.C. pills either. Talk about moooooody, it ain't even funny at how I act on those damned things. Pissed one minute, cryin' the next.......you never knew what would set me off and what wouldn't? And the weight gain.......I~ya ya ya

I finally just throwed them in the trash..........

all those eggs (faint memories of high school biology, possibly wrong).

Personally I like to be in control of the birth control thing. Fortunately for me I don't have side effects I have heard many people have had with the pill.

If I am the one to get pregnant, I don't want to worry that my hubby forgot to take his pill. Besides I like to have the control - I am just a control freak.

Until things like a deflated penis, or breast swelling were side effects...

You are probably wrong on the breast thing. There would be fans, I'm afraid...

good point

Now that I think of it, I use the safest form of birth control there is.

What woman would believe a guy if he said he was on the male pill? Not me.
Personally, I like being in control of my own reproduction.
I also had many side effects from the pill, so I switched to a diaphragm - no problems in over 20 years. If I was still single I would insist on the use of condoms. I think any man not ready to pay child support would be a fool not to use condoms, as well as to be protected from STD's.

There is also an easy to find product called Encare. It's a spermicide tablet. The woman inserts one into her vagina before sex and it quickly melts to form a barrier similar to a cervical cap. It is not as secure as The Pill or a diaphragm, but it is considered very reliable.

I know what you mean, GreenWitch.

Am I the only woman here that doesn't like condoms? I'll use them if I have to (like when I'm on antibiotics that interfere with the pill), but I don't like them at all. "Ribbed for her pleasure"? Not so much. They all feel weird and fake and ew.

I most definitely don't recommend the pill across the board, for all the reasons mentioned here. Lots of different reactions to it. Just saying that for ME, it's been great. Though I do have to look into the over-35 stuff. Sigh. I'm about 90% sure we don't want another kid but that 10% is keeping me from doing something permanent, yet.