Hi,
starting from the last:
Thanks, Mame, for those words and that suggestion. It's a good one, I feel. It's only been a few days and those days the children have been here all day because of the Xmas thing and it hasn't seemed appropriate to get into a discussion because it may turn to hard words and strong emotions and unsettling experiences for the kids.
But, yeah, I think so, the next thing to do is attempt a talk. Try to clear the air between us.
This hiatus has been utilised by myself at least to try and find my own viewpoint, attitude, get my feet on the ground, understand the situation, etc... which is what coming here is mostly about, as I said, just a substitute for counselling inasmuch as I've no other: no one else, nowhere else, to talk about the thing.
The total anonymity of this venue is what makes it possible for me. It's good.
You're right '..what exactly is the problem...' ? It needs to be clarified.
And the clearer and more settled I am before that conversation the better.
As for Calamity Jane, I think she is a calamity in the counselling role. 'You only want to hear what suits you and your side...'
Montana I think has unresolved issues of her own '.... I've lived with a man who had those qualities...' and is speaking eternally about herself, trying to get folks to see her, rather than addressing issues other people such as myself have.
Thanks for your kind words, Noddy, I think you've got a keen understanding of the dynamics of the situation.
And mushypancakes, too, thanks for your words.
In fact thanks to you all. What did I want here? Why did I come here? I wanted to talk to someone and spill out a bit of this and perhaps get some help dealing with it all.
I wanted someone to talk to. And you've all let me do that. For which I'm grateful. I thank you all.
regards,
flummoxed
No comment
I think I need to bite my tongue on this one!
It's really really tough, though!
Yeah, but everything in me tells me I shouldn't have!
Montana, people only want to hear what they want to hear, don't work
yourself up over it.
Being the calamity I am
I'd say, he got what he deserved!
You and me both Jane ;-)
Nothing like a good old backfire
Poor kids, though
Flummoxed--
You do have a tendency to come on swinging, don't you?
Calamity Jane and Montana gave you points of view, not Double Dirty Dog Dares.
Watching you react to opposition is very interesting.
I have a tendency to stick to the point, address the issue, tell it as it is.
They didn't give a point of view. They gave gratuitous insult and prejudice which I found on the one hand inappropriate in a forum such as this and particularly so in this thread and on the other very revealing as to their own personalities/intellectual status and I commented in this wise.
Surely a very legitimate thing to do.
And not a reaction to 'opposition' - where was the opposition? Opposition to what?
What are they opposing? My contention that they should read what is written, that they shouldn't prejudge, that they reveal immature and irresponsible personalities?
But isn't that a universal contention? A general code of behaviour?
However we can see clear 'opposition' on that side of the fence. I oppose their belief that they can do no wrong. Ludicrous.
I've no doubt you are all well known to each other and possibly have been for years (it must take some years to rack up tens of thousands of posts) and are all very civilised and urbane people at least in your own imaginings.
Tolerant of each other. Accustomed to each other. Enjoying the easy familiarity.
Have been doing this for so long that you've lost the plot. Drifted off course. You now tolerate too much.
These women are ludicrous. They should be made aware of the fact.
Where's the proof of that?
Just look at the correspondence. They are willing to brand me with all kinds of terrible things (in context of family man, responsible to the children and to the society etc., etc...) completely without evidence.
They're willing to do this in the context of a forum ostensibly designed to help!
They're willing to do this after a history of thousands of posts - they're no amatuers, they can't claim tyro ignorance.
They are willing to throw this kind of unreasoned facile nonsense at a serious human emotional problem involving many people, the reactions to which could seriously impact on many people, including the children they claim to have such a passionate interest in.....
And they expect to do it with impunity.
Probably because they've enjoyed it for so long.
But I don't play that stupid game. I've said what I've said and it was right and I wasn't about to say any more. If you want to keep picking at the scab then do so and it is possible you'll provoke another reaction from me but I doubt it. I find the subject profitless, with no future and simplistic almost beyond words.
The natures of these two and their postings are as obvious as the sun in the sky. I merely pointed it out. And it is true. Of course they don't like it and apparently neither do you.
Fine.
It gets me nowhere banging on about it.
They're not going to change themselves and no one is going to change them. Or that's what I'd expect.
They'll go to their graves like this. But they won't do it without it being on record that at least one person was friendly enough to them to stand up and point out a major truth to them.
And to you, too. They weren't giving 'points of view', they were giving opprobrium, gratuitous opprobrium, to which I respond in like manner and with, in my case, obvious justification.
Of course - do you care to quibble? - you could maintain this behaviour is in fact a kind of 'point of view' - I just called you a 'dumb prat' but it was only a 'point of view' !!
Well, yes, we can do that. But it cheapens the category to where it is meaningless.
I did give you my point of view, but you rejected it because it obviously does interest you.
I actually held back quite a bit where my point of view is concerned. I would absolutely love to tell you exactly what I think, point by point, but it wouldn't be pretty and just end up being a waste of my time.
You may be able to con some, but I'm not the one.
Eyes wide open!
Don't bother, Montana, it is not you or I who have a marital problem, it is flummoxed. Unfortunately, he's too belligerent and narrow minded to acknowledge his contribution to the marital problems, never mind taking responsibility for the children. One would hope, experience and a small amount of wisdom had taken hold of a 66 year old man, but we're proven wrong.
Some people get what they deserve, and that's a good thing!
Cheers Montana!
You're right Jane! What goes around has a way of making its way back around, as we so often see.
As Martha would say "That's a good thing"!
Cheers Jane!
Watching, and reacting between. Back on the morrow, as I may need to be particular to spell out some sequence of my reactions, and I'm not in the mode.
By the way, welcome to a2k, flummoxed.
Miss Manners says play nice please....
Interesting ideas, very foul mouth....
Well, I don't know if I'd go as far as saying I'm Miss Manners, I'm not a perfect angel.
Yeah, very foul and it won't last around these parts!
Marty, I doubt anybody considers my rude self to really be her....
(then again)
We know someone who will shortly, Jack....
Bye now....
Wow that was flippin' quick
SHAZAMMMM
RH
