Rebel Wife

Hi mochit. Here's something to consider.

Could you go to the photo session with your wife and her ex?

Encourage her to talk about it with you beforehand, ask her to involve you in the process ... but do not criticise what she's doing - or she will lock you out. She knows you are concerned and I think she's using that knowledge against you to undermine you and make herself feel powerful. Not telling you when the photo session is on also makes her feel powerful b/c she is able to withhold important information from you.

Maybe try a different tack and be vulnerable with her. Ask her to involve you. Go to the photo session. Sit. Watch. Do not comment or judge anything while you're there (unless they start to get it on or go beyond a point you are comfortable with). Assure her you are not there to supervise & you are not there b/c you don't trust her. Tell her you're there b/c you want to be involved in her life - if indeed that is your real motivation.

Do you know what I mean?

Also, ask her to be honest with you and not to hold two photo sessions ... one with you, and one without. Get me?

If she wants to be rebellious, fine. But if she wants to hurt you, that is not fine.

Do these suggestions help somewhat??

- jazzie

Awwwww come on Mochit, get real here.....this does involve YOU and has all to do with YOU, she is YOUR wife......and this is disrespectful.

If my husband come home and told me he'd do these things without consulting me first, my first reaction would be to tell him if he had the balls enough to do it.... to go for it, I DARE YA! Then before he had the chance to do so, I'd also explain to him how I felt about it, the consequences of his actions, and what it would result in. Such as everything he owned being packed up lock-stock-n-barrell and him being sent on his disrespectful way.


Mochit, we all have a urge to do wild things, trust me...I DO. But I also stop myself before I go too far, because first off... I'm married and I take that into consideration, along with what his feelings, and what consequences my actions may result in to him, and my children.

If I didn't, I promise I wouldn't be sitting here in this forum at the moment because of boredom, I'd be elsewhere having a big time! But I control my urges.......out of respect for my husband, my children and most of all...myself!

Makesmeshiver has an excellent point.

Thanks for the added advice. She agreed for me to be present, but i never thought about them arranging a second shoot without me. This whole deal has gotten me more paranoid and i feel like our once open relationship may never be the same. My wife tends to look at things from her perspective sometimes and this new drive to be an individual has certainly taken us down separate paths.

Her unobservant thinking makes me feel powerless and not respected .. yet i come across as a jealous loon whenever we talk about it (im not good at debating in real-time). I do draw from points made on this thread which helps me out