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What the hell is wrong with me?

 
 
Montana
 
Reply Sat 1 Dec, 2007 09:21 am
Most of you know who French is, but for those of you who don't, he is a guy I use to work with, who I fell for.
Frenchy lives with his girlfriend so he's not available, so that was that, other than the fact that I couldn't shake my feeling for him.
I was laid off from my job 9 months ago and handn't seen him since then, right up until monday and I've been an emotional mess ever since.
I've done everything in my power to avoid seeing him because I knew it would hurt, so I avoided going into town at times I thought he could be there, etc....
Mom and I go out Monday to do some shopping and as we were walking out, along he comes. We said hi to eachother and my stomache instantly went in knots. Of course he had to go and park next to me just to make sure I saw his car in case I missed him. He's always liked getting my attention Rolling Eyes

Anyway, I've been in a bit of a mood ever since and now that he knows I do my shopping on Manday, I'll have to change my shopping day <sigh>!
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Type: Discussion • Score: 0 • Views: 2,441 • Replies: 46
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Bi-Polar Bear
 
  1  
Reply Sat 1 Dec, 2007 09:24 am
you're pent up girl. You need relief.
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Montana
 
  1  
Reply Sat 1 Dec, 2007 09:28 am
Yeah, I think you're right. Unfortunately for me, he's the only relief I want.

People truly think I'm nuts for saving myself for someone I love Laughing
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sozobe
 
  1  
Reply Sat 1 Dec, 2007 09:30 am
You also need more candidates. How many interesting people have you met (in person) in the past five years or so?

I pretty much perpetually (from age 12 or so on) had a crush of some kind, and the quality of the crush depended on the quality of the candidates. When the supply of candidates was low, I had some weak-ass crushes. (At least I never acted on any of those... I think some part of my brain knew that they were idiots and protected me.)

Get out there, meet people, find someone who is both available and NOT the jerk Frenchy has already proven himself to be.
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Montana
 
  1  
Reply Sat 1 Dec, 2007 09:40 am
You're right on the money Soz! I've been out of work for a while now and I'm putting all my energy into starting a business (which I'll tell you all about when I get it off the ground), so my social status consists of going to town once or twice a week to do some shopping, less in the winter when it gets cold.

Since I am extremely busy with my business plans these days, I hardly have time to scratch my head, never mind socialize, but time will change that.

I have future plans on getting myself out there and into the world again, but I need to get my financial stabilty going first, so it's just toughing it out until then.

Thanks Soz :-)

<Deep breaths>
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msolga
 
  1  
Reply Sun 2 Dec, 2007 01:16 am
Montana wrote:
I have future plans on getting myself out there and into the world again, but I need to get my financial stabilty going first, so it's just toughing it out until then.


You're making perfectly good sense to me, Montana!

So who says there's something "wrong" with you, hmmmm?

You did?! Surprised

Well you're a silly sausage then! So there! Laughing
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roger
 
  1  
Reply Sun 2 Dec, 2007 02:05 am
Ohmagawd. I'll wait years to tell someone they're a silly sausage, if I have to.
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msolga
 
  1  
Reply Sun 2 Dec, 2007 02:12 am
roger wrote:
Ohmagawd. I'll wait years to tell someone they're a silly sausage, if I have to.


Laughing

Yeah, roger, it has a certain class, don't you think? :wink:
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Joe Nation
 
  1  
Reply Sun 2 Dec, 2007 03:03 am
Don't know French or Frenchy.
but
I do know two things:
1) anyone who wouldn't have you over some other woman is a twit.
2) any twit who would park their car next to someone they know it would hurt is a sadistic twit.

Joe(Stop being so frigging busy that you can't be happy.)Nation
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sozobe
 
  1  
Reply Sun 2 Dec, 2007 09:19 am
Yeah the siggy thing that Joe said!
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edgarblythe
 
  1  
Reply Sun 2 Dec, 2007 09:22 am
Prolly if you did have the guy, you would realize he might not be worth it after all.
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Stray Cat
 
  1  
Reply Sun 2 Dec, 2007 10:18 am
Yeah, I agree, edgar.

But I have to disagree with the idea of being "so busy you can't be happy." Happiness is different things to different people. I'm happiest when I am busy! Work is energizing to me and motivating.

So, just do your thing, Montana!

Montana wrote:

Quote:
People truly think I'm nuts for saving myself for someone I love


I don't think that's nuts at all.
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ehBeth
 
  1  
Reply Sun 2 Dec, 2007 10:31 am
sozobe wrote:
You also need more candidates. How many interesting people have you met (in person) in the past five years or so?

I pretty much perpetually (from age 12 or so on) had a crush of some kind, and the quality of the crush depended on the quality of the candidates. When the supply of candidates was low, I had some weak-ass crushes. (At least I never acted on any of those... I think some part of my brain knew that they were idiots and protected me.)

Get out there, meet people, find someone who is both available and NOT the jerk Frenchy has already proven himself to be.


Montana, you've got to get out there.

You caused a bit of a problem for yourself in choosing to live where you did. I understand you had your reasons for that, but you have to accept that means you've got to make more of an effort getting out there to meet more people.

French (from reading your posts about him) probably doesn't see you as anyone other than to lightly, occasionally flirt with. You were a casual work friend - not a potential girlfriend for him.

He was in a relationship with someone when you met him - he pursued that relationship and settled down with that woman - the truth is that you likely weren't in his viewfinder.

If you want to be in a relationship again, and want to continue living where you do - you are going to have to be much more active in getting out to meet someone (lots of someones so you'll have a choice).
0 Replies
 
Stray Cat
 
  1  
Reply Sun 2 Dec, 2007 10:39 am
Here go the married people again!

Maybe I'm being a little to touchy here, but I've had many conversations with my single friends about this, and the thing is......married people have this way of saying things that seem to imply, "You can't possibly be happy if you're not married -- or least coupled up with someone 24/7!"

I know they don't mean any harm. But it can come off as condescending, you know?

Montana is a very attractive woman who plenty of guys would like to be with. But she's also independent, and she's not going to fall apart if she's single. I admire that.

Montana, I think it's great that you're starting your own business. That would make an interesting thread. Maybe you could do one about it when you get a little more time? I'd love to hear about it!

I know you'll find someone if and when you want to.
0 Replies
 
Rockhead
 
  1  
Reply Sun 2 Dec, 2007 10:40 am
Montana,

What single guys see when they "notice" a gal:

A confident, happy, outgoing, approachable....

Hey, wait, you are all of these. Shocked

Get out and be you, and forget car parker guy, eh.

RH
0 Replies
 
ehBeth
 
  1  
Reply Sun 2 Dec, 2007 10:42 am
Married?
0 Replies
 
sozobe
 
  1  
Reply Sun 2 Dec, 2007 10:42 am
Stray Cat wrote:
But I have to disagree with the idea of being "so busy you can't be happy." Happiness is different things to different people. I'm happiest when I am busy! Work is energizing to me and motivating.


I agree with this as a concept but Montana has made it clear that she REALLY wants to be in a relationship. I don't think everyone needs to be in a relationship to be happy -- many people are happier single, in fact. But in this specific case, I really agree with Beth that if Montana wants something, she needs to go for it and not hope that it kinda falls in her lap, or (Joe's point) keep putting off the going-for-it because of various mundane reasons. The mundane reasons are probably going to be there for a long time, even if they change around a bit.
0 Replies
 
martybarker
 
  1  
Reply Sun 2 Dec, 2007 10:46 am
Montna,
Frenchy isn't right for you. You deserve so much better. In your romantic mind, don't settle for him. Set your sights higher.
0 Replies
 
Montana
 
  1  
Reply Sun 2 Dec, 2007 10:50 am
Big hugs to you all :-D

MsOlga, yes, I think I'm pretty good at being a silly sausage. Thank you, you sweet thing :-D

Hugs Roger and gives him big smooch :-D

Joe, you're so sweet to say those things (hugs)! I know he's a twit, but I don't think he even realizes how much of a twit he's been with me.
I'm working on starting a business, so there's no way for me not to be busy right now, but it's a good busy and the one thing I feel great about right now is what I'm doing. I'll share my plans with everyone once I get it off the ground.

I may not have much luck with men, but I never had any problem running a business, so me thinks it's a good idea to place my energy in things that work. No twits Laughing
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Bi-Polar Bear
 
  1  
Reply Sun 2 Dec, 2007 10:52 am
give up the pursuit of happiness and replace it with the pursuit of comfort.... you'll be better off....
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