What the hell is wrong with me?

sozobe wrote:

You also need more candidates. How many interesting people have you met (in person) in the past five years or so?

I pretty much perpetually (from age 12 or so on) had a crush of some kind, and the quality of the crush depended on the quality of the candidates. When the supply of candidates was low, I had some weak-ass crushes. (At least I never acted on any of those... I think some part of my brain knew that they were idiots and protected me.)

Get out there, meet people, find someone who is both available and NOT the jerk Frenchy has already proven himself to be.

Montana, you've got to get out there.

You caused a bit of a problem for yourself in choosing to live where you did. I understand you had your reasons for that, but you have to accept that means you've got to make more of an effort getting out there to meet more people.

French (from reading your posts about him) probably doesn't see you as anyone other than to lightly, occasionally flirt with. You were a casual work friend - not a potential girlfriend for him.

He was in a relationship with someone when you met him - he pursued that relationship and settled down with that woman - the truth is that you likely weren't in his viewfinder.

If you want to be in a relationship again, and want to continue living where you do - you are going to have to be much more active in getting out to meet someone (lots of someones so you'll have a choice).

I've seen him drive by my house I can't count the times and he even parked and sat out front for a while a few times.

Here go the married people again!

Maybe I'm being a little to touchy here, but I've had many conversations with my single friends about this, and the thing is......married people have this way of saying things that seem to imply, "You can't possibly be happy if you're not married -- or least coupled up with someone 24/7!"

I know they don't mean any harm. But it can come off as condescending, you know?

Montana is a very attractive woman who plenty of guys would like to be with. But she's also independent, and she's not going to fall apart if she's single. I admire that.

Montana, I think it's great that you're starting your own business. That would make an interesting thread. Maybe you could do one about it when you get a little more time? I'd love to hear about it!

I know you'll find someone if and when you want to.

Montana,

What single guys see when they "notice" a gal:

A confident, happy, outgoing, approachable....

Hey, wait, you are all of these.

Get out and be you, and forget car parker guy, eh.

RH

Only problem is that it's very rare a man gets my complete attention.

Oh, his actions tell me that I'm still very much in his view finder.

Stray Cat wrote:

But I have to disagree with the idea of being "so busy you can't be happy." Happiness is different things to different people. I'm happiest when I am busy! Work is energizing to me and motivating.

I agree with this as a concept but Montana has made it clear that she REALLY wants to be in a relationship. I don't think everyone needs to be in a relationship to be happy -- many people are happier single, in fact. But in this specific case, I really agree with Beth that if Montana wants something, she needs to go for it and not hope that it kinda falls in her lap, or (Joe's point) keep putting off the going-for-it because of various mundane reasons. The mundane reasons are probably going to be there for a long time, even if they change around a bit.

Montna,
Frenchy isn't right for you. You deserve so much better. In your romantic mind, don't settle for him. Set your sights higher.

give up the pursuit of happiness and replace it with the pursuit of comfort.... you'll be better off....

Montana wrote:

I've seen him drive by my house I can't count the times and he even parked and sat out front for a while a few times.

Take that red lightbulb out of the window and replace it with a standard bulb.

Then, tell me if his behavior changes. I am beginning to suspect something here.

No problem, Montana. I'm looking forward to hearing about your enterprises!

Quote:

Only problem is that it's very rare a man gets my complete attention.

Same here! It might sound choosy, but we're worth it!

gustavratzenhofer wrote:

Montana wrote:

I've seen him drive by my house I can't count the times and he even parked and sat out front for a while a few times.

Take that red lightbulb out of the window and replace it with a standard bulb.

Then, tell me if his behavior changes. I am beginning to suspect something here.

You lost me Gus! What does this mean?

Some say the origin of the red light comes from the red lanterns carried by railway workers, which were left outside brothels when the workers entered, so that they could be quickly located for any needed train movement.

Montana wrote:

Oh, his actions tell me that I'm still very much in his view finder.

he chose someone else.

move on.

seriously.

you've given someone who is not interested in you way too much power.

avoiding going to town when you think he might be there. please. you're not in high school.

~~~

You are a very nice woman, but if you want a relationship you've got to deal with these things from an adult perspective.

Soz nailed it earlier with her comments about crushes.

oh, poor Montana. You need a vacation in the sun. Come to Hawaii in February for the Hawaii Bash. That Mame will be there and we'll find you Island Boy to chase your tears away.

aunty seaglass