1
   

Feminist are better in bed

 
 
Reply Sat 17 Nov, 2007 04:59 am
Quote:
Study: Feminists are better mates
Supporters of equality for women also have stronger relationships, new research says
  • Topic Stats
  • Top Replies
  • Link to this Topic
Type: Discussion • Score: 1 • Views: 5,986 • Replies: 74
No top replies

 
Walter Hinteler
 
  1  
Reply Sat 17 Nov, 2007 05:00 am
http://i10.tinypic.com/725sh1x.jpg

Quote:
Source
Print edition Chicago Tribune, 17.11.2007, frontpage and page 4
0 Replies
 
Walter Hinteler
 
  1  
Reply Sat 17 Nov, 2007 05:01 am
From earlier this week, a comment in The Guardian

Quote:
Feminism and romantic love make very happy bedfellows

Despite the forces ranged against the f-word, those who embrace it have stronger relationships - and are better in bed


Libby Brooks in New York
Thursday November 15, 2007
The Guardian


The news, for the terminally declining population of women who identify as feminists, is good. According to a study by researchers at Rutgers University, New Jersey, the classic New Yorker cartoon of two women discussing relationships in a coffee shop - "sex brought us together but gender drove us apart" - is plain wrong. Feminists are happier in love and better in bed.

I'm extrapolating a wee bit optimistically, but it's cheering to come across a study about the f-word that doesn't conclude 99% of respondents think the women's movement was about unshaved armpits. What the Rutgers researchers actually found was that, in a survey of college students and older adults, all in heterosexual relationships, men paired with feminist partners reported greater relationship stability and sexual satisfaction. In addition, there was consistent evidence that male feminist partners were healthier for women's relationships, while there was scant evidence that women's feminism created conflict in liaisons.

This will doubtless do little to dispel the popular myth that the majority of feminists are man-hating lesbians and, granted, studies reporting levels of contentment are subjective. But the question the study seeks to address is an important one: how do straight women distinguish genuine, positive intimacy and its attendant vulnerabilities from the self-defeating romantic discourses they are encouraged to buy into?

It's inevitable that feminism and romantic love have been set up as being mutually exclusive. From Betty Freidan's evisceration of 50s domesticity in The Feminine Mystique onwards, the women's movement has counselled that romantic fulfilment should be a part of, rather than the sole measure of, a woman's self-worth. Though we may have advanced beyond the stage when attracting a powerful mate was a woman's only means of securing social status, the obsessive veneration of Wags, as well as our addiction to the beauty industry and the content of every other self-help book, would suggest that advance should be measured in yards rather than miles.

It may be a biological imperative for both genders to pair bond, but the romantic narrative of love/marriage/children is simply not inculcated in boys in the same way as it is in girls. It's a narrative still closely associated with those traditional feminine virtues of vulnerability, passivity, nurture. And if feminism is considered incompatible with love, it is likewise seen as a threat to femininity itself.

But understanding our weaknesses and needs doesn't preclude empowerment. It's only anti-feminist if women believe those private needs underpin everything at all times of our lives, including the parallel needs for education, say, or economic independence or job satisfaction. And it's worth remembering that the "now where did I put my lipstick?" version of femininity takes a whole lot of guile to pull off.

Still, some of the truest of feminist believers have attested to a suspicion that there is something, well, unfeminist about the pursuit of romantic love. Women do spend a substantial amount of time on relationships, but in doing so do they distract themselves from worthier pursuits? Katha Pollitt, the award-winning poet, essayist and Nation columnist, ponders this in her recent memoir, Learning to Drive. "Perhaps the way women think about love is part of that slave religion Nietzsche talks about, a mystification of the powerless," she writes. "What would the world be like if women stopped being women ... gave up the slave religion? Could the world go on without romantic love, all iron fist, no velvet glove?"

In an essay titled After the Men Are Dead, she asks: "Will it be restful, not having to think about love, romance, sex, pleasing, listening, encouraging, smiling at old jokes ... Men take a lot of attending to and on; there's a lot of putting down of books involved." Or as Jessica Valenti, founder of feministing.com and voice of a fresh generation of US feminists, more succinctly puts it: "If I'd spent half the energy on my career and school stuff as I did on my relationships, I'd probably be the ******* president by now."

That's not to say that men don't fret about their relationships too. But, from the highly unscientific sample of the men I've known as friends and lovers, they don't to the same degree and, when they do, prefer to cast themselves as tragic hero or romantic lead rather than foil. This is why there will never be a market for a book of dating advice for men titled She's Just Not That Into You.

Pollitt's point that women's desire for male approval - be that of how we look, how we have sex or how we love - is debilitating, but may be inescapable because of how forcefully and consistently it is reinforced by the structures around us, even when it is not by men themselves. So long as the withdrawal of male approval is used as punishment for women's successes - consider the number of female politicians deemed unattractive - the notion that a woman is completed rather than complemented by the presence of a man in her life is a hard one to shake.

But that's very different from suggesting that desire for a man is weakening, or that feminism and romantic love are indeed incompatible. All relationships involve a degree of compromise - the key is whether you are compromising with or for the other person.

[email protected]
0 Replies
 
OmSigDAVID
 
  1  
Reply Thu 22 Nov, 2007 11:13 pm
Interesting
0 Replies
 
Montana
 
  1  
Reply Thu 22 Nov, 2007 11:30 pm
I knew that :-D
0 Replies
 
Sglass
 
  2  
Reply Thu 22 Nov, 2007 11:48 pm
A feminist respects men and women in equal measure - therefore all decent human beings are feminists.

Oona King, MP
Britain
0 Replies
 
majolote
 
  1  
Reply Fri 23 Nov, 2007 11:12 pm
Praise Feminism is praise Machismo
We souldn't make such differences I think... I found a interesting forum edit: Link removed by Moderator .... Gog Bless You
0 Replies
 
princesspupule
 
  1  
Reply Sat 24 Nov, 2007 05:43 am
Compromising with or for...

Hm, interesting.
0 Replies
 
Montana
 
  1  
Reply Mon 26 Nov, 2007 11:03 am
Sglass wrote:
A feminist respects men and women in equal measure - therefore all decent human beings are feminists.

Oona King, MP
Britain


Bingo ;-)
0 Replies
 
vikorr
 
  1  
Reply Sun 23 Dec, 2007 01:54 am
I remember the 80's here in Australia, where numbers of women didn't want to be treated like women (go figure) in the name of feminism.

I found it just...unnatural. I'm rather glad that period of history is gone.
0 Replies
 
Francis
 
  1  
Reply Sun 23 Dec, 2007 04:18 am
Montana wrote:
Sglass wrote:
A feminist respects men and women in equal measure - therefore all decent human beings are feminists.

Oona King, MP
Britain


Bingo ;-)


What about feminists who like porn? Twisted Evil

What about decent human beings who like porn? Twisted Evil


I know, I know, in your view, decent human beings don't like porn... Cool
0 Replies
 
cjhsa
 
  1  
Reply Sun 23 Dec, 2007 05:29 am
Hunters make better lovers. They go deeper into the bush. They shoot more often. And they eat what they shoot.
0 Replies
 
Francis
 
  1  
Reply Sun 23 Dec, 2007 05:30 am
And they like it bleeding...
0 Replies
 
cjhsa
 
  1  
Reply Sun 23 Dec, 2007 05:35 am
and tied down.
0 Replies
 
Brandon9000
 
  1  
Reply Sun 23 Dec, 2007 07:50 am
Did they allow women into the study before determining if the had a relationship at all? Would feminists with bad relationshops have been likely to volunteer for the study, knowing in advance what it was trying to determine? Did the study depend on accepting the self-evaluation of subjects who knew what the study was trying to measure? Would a magazine called "Sex Roles" have published a study which concluded the opposite?
0 Replies
 
Sglass
 
  1  
Reply Mon 24 Dec, 2007 09:17 pm
Francis wrote:
Montana wrote:
Sglass wrote:
A feminist respects men and women in equal measure - therefore all decent human beings are feminists.

Oona King, MP
Britain


Bingo ;-)


What about feminists who like porn? Twisted Evil

What about decent human beings who like porn? Twisted Evil

FRANCIS I DID NOT KNOW YOU WERE A PORN FREAK. COOL MAN, COOL - YOU AND THE MARQUIS DA SADE - WANNA BORROW MY COPY OF 120 NIGHTS OF SODOM?


I know, I know, in your view, decent human beings don't like porn... Cool
0 Replies
 
Montana
 
  1  
Reply Mon 24 Dec, 2007 11:59 pm
Francis wrote:
Montana wrote:
Sglass wrote:
A feminist respects men and women in equal measure - therefore all decent human beings are feminists.

Oona King, MP
Britain


Bingo ;-)


What about feminists who like porn? Twisted Evil

What about decent human beings who like porn? Twisted Evil


I know, I know, in your view, decent human beings don't like porn... Cool


That's not true! I never said people who liked porn weren't decent human beings!

I gather you're a porn fan, Francis? Laughing
0 Replies
 
Francis
 
  1  
Reply Tue 25 Dec, 2007 04:09 am
Sglass wrote:
FRANCIS I DID NOT KNOW YOU WERE A PORN FREAK. COOL MAN, COOL - YOU AND THE MARQUIS DA SADE - WANNA BORROW MY COPY OF 120 NIGHTS OF SODOM?


It's really amazing how people can make such inferences based on a single ironic comment!

No, really, I'm so beyond that, I read all those books many years ago..

Thanks, anyway, for the offer.
0 Replies
 
Francis
 
  1  
Reply Tue 25 Dec, 2007 04:15 am
Montana wrote:
That's not true! I never said people who liked porn weren't decent human beings!


Glad that you aknowledge that!

Note, however, that that was a ironic comment based of some your replies to another thread..



Montana wrote:
I gather you're a porn fan, Francis? Laughing


No, franckly, real life is so much better! :wink:
0 Replies
 
solipsister
 
  1  
Reply Tue 25 Dec, 2007 05:27 am
I imagine that people are attracted to interesting others and encourage all success.
0 Replies
 
 

Related Topics

 
  1. Forums
  2. » Feminist are better in bed
Copyright © 2019 MadLab, LLC :: Terms of Service :: Privacy Policy :: Page generated in 0.03 seconds on 06/16/2019 at 10:33:33