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Sun 11 Nov, 2007 10:43 am
I have decided that there needs to be a couple of hard and fast rules when kissing someone.
1. When kissing, always go to the right.
Everyone should be made to know about this rule, so that nobody will ever again have to do the awkward pre-kiss face repositioning, or worse, the face bump then awkward laughter move.
2. One should never kiss with eyes open...EVER.
It's very disconcerting to nitice your kissing partner staring at you like a weird freak while you're trying to get into a kiss. And what the hell are you looking at anyway, you jackass?
There, that should about cover it. Carry on.
Try not to burp the fumes of the corn nuts you just ate into her mouth. If you've eaten a sleeve of Oreos, brush your teeth. If you have bronchitis, keep your phlegm to yourself.
If only someone had told me these things when I was a young man. Or last week.
And try to get rid of that gum, you've been chewing for hours, beforehand.
It's like dancing,
One hand behind her head, one around her waist. Remember to step in as you force her backwards.
Just don't drop her as she's struggling.
I thought corn nuts were an aphrodisiac?
DrewDad wrote:I thought corn nuts were an aphrodisiac?
As did I, my friend. As did I.
I'm trying to imagine kissing someone to the left. That would just be so weird.
Wait what if you're kissing for a long time? Don't you move from side to side a little bit?
littlek wrote:Wait what if you're kissing for a long time? Don't you move from side to side a little bit?
Those of you chewing Corn Nuts can ignore this one.
littlek wrote:Wait what if you're kissing for a long time? Don't you move from side to side a little bit?
What are you, some kind of a freak?
to the left. always to the left. i grew up under communists.
No wonder you're still single in capitalistic USA.
CalamityJane wrote:No wonder you're still single in capitalistic USA.
is that it? i was wondering what it was. do you think people can tell even before they start a conversation with me?
I go North, she goes South.
H2O_MAN wrote:I go North, she goes South.
Are you sure you're going to meet up that way?
dagmaraka wrote:CalamityJane wrote:No wonder you're still single in capitalistic USA.
is that it? i was wondering what it was. do you think people can tell even before they start a conversation with me?
What? You kiss people before starting a conversation with them..?
old europe wrote:What? You kiss people before starting a conversation with them..?
Around here, we often do.
Like when one is introduced to friends of friends...
old europe wrote:dagmaraka wrote:CalamityJane wrote:No wonder you're still single in capitalistic USA.
is that it? i was wondering what it was. do you think people can tell even before they start a conversation with me?
What? You kiss people before starting a conversation with them..?
Are you saying you would actually talk to a bad kisser?
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