And that's what I appreciate, osso. Everybody just thinking out loud.
Times like this is when I miss my mother the most.
I am sorry you're in this situation, eoe, but loving the way this thread is going.
1. I agree with you and osso that your history is your business. Unfortunately, the Jerk (John) and Ronald are nearby, so are not history. They are current and real, so, the history argument is out the window.
2. Your husband is more than likely man enough or secure enough not to worry about it, but like you said, you don't want him to have egg on his face if he's caught flat-footed among innuendoes not knowing. The more he knows, the better he can handle either one of them.
3. I don't think you need to ask him to deal with John. Once you tell him about Ronald, he'll remember all John's gibes. He may be older but he's not in his dotage. He'll remember and he'll deal with it if it's brought up in front of him, I'm sure. He'll also be doing it to protect his wife. Yay husband.
4. I think John is a jerk. Oh, did I already say that? This is extremely immature behaviour and who cares why it's happening? There is no reason to keep doing it.
Okay, that's my 4 cents' worth.
Well, on rereading your first post, Eoe, it looks like a main concern is that Ron would be a guest in your house and your husband wouldn't be knowing he's an old boyfriend (of a short time some time ago), not that John or Ron would tell your husband.
I guess it was us jumping to that possibility (haven't reread further).
Maybe your husband wouldn't mind him in his house/backyard if he knew that it was no big deal - Or maybe your husband would mind.
I still vote for telling him, ick.....
But I worry about suggesting that, since if Hub gets all jealous...
Ah, but didn't John only say "your boy" to Eoe - I don't think he said it in front of Hub. And, as Eoe said at one point, they all used to be friends at one point, it's natural that is who he references, even if he mentions him twice in two short conversations, it might not be jerkiness.
Hey, Mame, are you on your own computer now?
I also think that John is deliberately trying to make you feel uncomfortable, eoe, and the "your boy" did it for me. I would have lashed out at him
right then and there, telling him that whatever happened between you and
Ron is not only private but also ancient history and if he brings it up again,
he better knows where the door is.
eoe, if John had your best interest at heart, he never would have gone
down that road. He did however, so in my book, he's not worth your
friendship.
Well, I told my husband. He took it very well. He wanted to know why John would keep bringing Ronald up to me and I told him my theory, that for John, rather than his ex-wife, Ronald is his preferred point of reference between us. I was prepared for more questions but there weren't any. Hubby seems very cool about it all.
Don't know what will happen when he sees John again tho.
Good for you eoe!! I'm glad your husband took it so well (good for him, too).
Ditto. The elephant is out of the living room.
It IS a relief. I didn't realize how worried I actually was until after I told him and how good it felt to get it out. I keep waiting for more questions but there were none tonight nor this morning. My old man is like a cool breeze.
Oh, and to answer a question I neglected to straighten out for some of you yesterday...of course my episodes with Ronald took place before I met my husband! What kind of wife do you think I am???
Only dithering and nervous since the clarification
Or conscientious and thoughtful... geez.
Hurray!
Now, you have a choice...
you could mentally prepare yourself for the next time John makes some asinine remark. You'll be ready to give him a verbal slap up the side of the head....or a gentle rebuff if you like....
OR you could march straight up to him now and tell him how that "your boy" comment annoyed the piss out of you.. Get it out and over with....
THEN, you'll see what type of man this John is.
And whether he's worthy of becoming a freind.
Hey! That's good. I like the idea of telling him straight up, the next time I see him, that he annoys me with talk about Ronald all the time. We'll see where he goes with that because you're absolutely right. His response will definitely determine whether we can be friends or not.
Thanks guys! You're the greatest. Another crisis handled with honesty, maturity and straightforwardness.
Eoe--
Giving advice is easy. Taking advice is much harder. You do both giving and taking well.
Hold your dominion.
What noddy said...
You rock, girl!
Brava, eoe... I knew your husband was a cool guy. Keep us posted on your next interaction with John-boy, will you?
