Surgery--Again

Howza Boid????


Thinking of you.

Gadz, how insensitive.

wanna know what i would have said, well i'm too polite to express such thoughts in public

that is unbelievable, somebody of some importance should be made aware of that exchange

So sorry Roberta. I'm torn between admiration for you not blowing your stack and making a scene and my instincts that you should have told the insensitive b*tch off. Not sure which way it would have gone with me if I was the patient. I know how it would have gone had I been with you as moral support though. I wish you had somebody to accompany you to these appointments.

Did the frustration make the walk any easier at least? I would have been fuming so much I wouldn't have noticed the walk passing.

I wish you didn't have to endure so much.
(Noddy would say something smart and witty right here.)

That is EXACTLY what I was thinking.

There's no fight left in me.

The past few days I've been thinking about the person I used to be and the person I've become.

There's not much left. I'm not somebody I'd like to hang around with. Just a fragment of my former self.

And very tired.

I don't believe that for a minute.

You had plenty of fire last night and again earlier today. You're just tired...and that's perfectly understandable. It's been an exhausting day, even for a cheetah. Get some sleep now. You need and deserve it.

Sweet dreams, dear Roberta....

I get the same feelings, Roberta. Does that help? No

I understand, Roberta. You're thoroughly sick & tired of the whole "process". But you have no choice but to continue, as frustrating, frightening & maddening as it is. I'm so sorry that this is what you're going through. But I know you well enough to know that your discouragement will not be your permanent state & that you will bounce back, as soon as you are able to. Because this is the real "you".

Big hugs to you (not that they will make much difference right now)

(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((Boida)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))


Dollink.....of course you are thinking like this.

We see how much Boida is still there.

We love that Boida.

We want to hang around with her.

We need you.

Boida -- sleep sweetheart.

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{hug, with an extra squeeze.}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

Roberta....

I want to say the words in my head... but I can't get them out

so until I can..

please, try and rest your thoughts - whoever you feel you are and whatever you feel you have lost of you... people care for who you are now. You're loved. You're admired. People like hanging around with you, coz you are just you and you are a friend to many. x

Hey Roberta,

Catching up after having been gone for several days. Does it help at all that from that timescale it looks like you're getting a lot done?

I get how frustrating the nuts + bolts and peripheries are, though. Kvetch away.

good thoughts for roberta, you get better okay, those beautiful animals pics ain't gonna post themselves

I'll take that fragment please. Thank you.

Masks and tattoos!!! Kinky stuff? Moi? Nah. Preparation for the radiation. Yes, a mask. Surreal experience to have a heavy hot thingie plunked down on your face. Smooshed into the creases. It's mesh so I can breathe.

Didn't like the tattoo, though. Ouch. People do this to themselves on purpose?

This place is NOT Bellevue. Limited waiting. No walking. Problem with my account. Self-pay!!!!???? I don't think so. Bellevue is paying. This was straightened out in a jif.

Seven weeks, five days a week. I will not likely be able to eat solids after the first week. I will lose weight. They will give me numbing stuff to help with the pain in swallowing.

Gotta get my teeth cleaned. OK. Don't noodge. I'll call the dentist.

Did a self-indulgent, expensive thing. I went to the Second Avenue Deli. Didn't get one thing. Got two. Far more than I should be spending on meals. **** it. If I ain't gonna eat for six weeks, I'm gonna eat now. In fact they told me to eat like crazy now. The expense? **** that too. This has been a long, already expensive week.

Looking forward to dinner.

BTW, I get to keep the mask.

So, what two things did you get?

Stuffed cabbage and stuffed derma. Lots of rye bread for dunking. Foods that take me back to my childhood seem to be more than just tasty. They satisfy in a special way. Comfort foods? Kinda.