@Thomas,
Hey kid, I'm inclined to think that Winston is from the Churchill line rather than the cigarette line. However, his language skills leave a great deal to be desired, so we'll remain in the dark on this one.
As for the diet, I really don't have much to do. You'll have to do the marketing and somehow convince people that this approach to weight loss is the road to take. I can't recommend it, but if it will make us rich, what the hell.
Endometrial cancer
Laryngeal cancer (big weight loss)
Breast cancer
C-diff (nightmare bacterial infection)
Total weight loss: 107 pounds
Note that the cancers don't cause weight loss. It's the steenkin' treatment.
Be sure to mention that brain surgery should be avoided. They give you steroids, which make you very hungry. I backslid from the steroids.