Surgery--Again

Hanging around, fingers crossed. Hoper in top gear!

Ommmmmmmmmm. . .

Dante coulda taken Hell lessons from these people. He coulda learned a few things.

I DID NOT HAVE THE BIOPSY

Waited. Got my blood pressure checked. Waited. Waited. Waited. The ENTs had an unexpectedly difficult patient and wouldn't get to me today.

They wanted to reschedule me for Monday. I refused. I need more time to pull myself together.

They're concerned about too much time passing. I'm not.

Managed to reach my escort before she left for the HH.

I coulda taken the work. I coulda ate last night. Coulda, coulda, coulda.

Madder than mad.

Do no harm my ass.

Do you have a donkey we could swat?


Annoying news eh.

Christ on a stick.

(I apologize to those offended, but I think he would have some crisp advice).

In addition to the torture, when I went outside, the wind was so strong that it actually moved me around. Temp in the teens. Now I'm chilled. Wearing a hat in the house.

Just took a pill. Have to wait an hour before I eat. Hot soup here I come.

Boida- You know that you have so many people who love you, and are pulling for you. Things may be really sucky now, but just focus on brighter days ahead.

Lots of love and caring from the old broad from Brooklyn!.

Egad.

These people do seem to have a great deal of expertise in how to inflict hellishness on others.

Enjoy that hot soup.

whattamess! So sorry you have to gear yourself up for this again.

If they try and harm her ass, I'm going to have to go over there.

I had hot cereal, hot soup, and a hot meal. Still feeling chilled.

When I walked outside the hospital, the wind was thrashing me around. I could not stand in place. I could not walk. I could not breathe. I wasn't sure what to do. I thought, "Somebody help me." Then a cab came. I was shocked that I did this. Not me. Who? Somebody inside my head said that.

The cab driver was concerned for me. Panting in the back seat. Disoriented. He got me home. Feel like crying.

In the words of my grandmother, "Gunoog already."

Thanks to you all for hanging with me. What a bunch of good kids.

And bunny, you don't have to worry about coming here to protect my ass. I may be old, debilitated, and beaten, but I ain't dead. Anybody harming my ass is gonna have to deal with me. I still have a few snarls left.

(((((Boida)))))), I'm so sorry that it didn't go as it should have done and that you have to carry the unknowing around in your head after being so mucked about.

I hope you are feeling a little stronger today and have warmed through and that you can get a new date soonest and have the biopsy, though I get that you need to organise your thoughts first.

I'm just so sorry you have to continue thinking about it and have to gear yourself up to go through it again.

Help from the taxi-stranger, bless that taxi driver for getting you home and out of the cold when you needed it the most.

Snarl for a bit, then perhaps use the energy you have to book the new appointment. Hang in there, Boida. I do hope you slept some and feel better today. Keep warm, eat soup, feel hugged. X

Much Dantesque (and Kafkaesque, methinks) crap going on.

Quelle pain.

(((B)))

Yiddish word that means enough.

You hang in there, Roberta! Somehow you'll pull through all this mishigas!

Crapola.

So sorry Roberta! Hang in there....gah I know you have to be tired of being told that.

Warm thoughts and smooth sailing thoughts too...all yours.

I've been thinking about the events of the last few weeks. I confess to being a little obsessed. It might clear my head if I summarize.

Goal: Biopsy on larynx
Trips to hated hospital: 3
Trips to Bellevue: 2
Est. round trip cab fare: $88
Jobs not taken because of biopsy: 3
Est. amt of money not earned: $1,200
Amount of waiting time: 13.5 hours
Effect of biopsy news: asthma attack
Est. amt. of weight gained while takeing steroids: 6 lbs.
No. of phone calls and time on hold: 10-12 calls; 30-40 min.
Results:
Chest X-ray: OK
EKG: OK
BP: 113/71
Pulse: 81
Temp: 98.6
Biospy: Not done
Most outstandingly upsetting moment: Being in the cab on my way home yesterday and telling the driver to turn onto Lexington Avenue. He informed me we were on Lexington Avenue. Thud.
Anxiety levels: Not measurable

I slept for 14 hours. Do I feel rested? No. Why Anxious about the biopsy and money.

Can I put if out of my mind for a while? Doubtful.

Is my head any clearer now that I've summarized? Clearer than what?

Just came to check in. Damn.