Surgery--Again

Happiness & Relief, Roberta.

This is so nice to hear.

Now when you start singing, so loudly that the neighbours complain ... I'll know that everything is just right in your world!

I don't think loud anything is on my agenda, olga. But who knows?

It has occurred to me that the energy, the appetite, the activity, and the uncharacteristic lack of overall negativity started to kick in when I started taking the steroids. I'm almost done with the scrip. Let's hope these changes are not drug-induced--at least not entirely.

Getting stuff clean and orderly!!


Soul cleansing!

I moved a couple of weeks ago, and I'm mostly settled in. I need to go update my thread about the new place.

Looking forward to hearing from the homeowner.

Me too.

SUPPERTIME!!!!



My FreshDirect order arrived today. I was very pleased with what I got. Fresh inexpensive meats--beautiful. Great produce. My favorite cheese (my supermarket hasn't had it for weeks), etc. The one disappointment was the bread, but the bread is always a disappointment.

The shrimp were peeled and deveined. I cooked them and cooled them. I cut up big chunks of salad. I made a delicious cocktail sauce. I dunked everything in the sauce. I think I was purring. I had fresh strawberries with whipped cream for dessert. I have enough left for tomorrow. I will make garlic bread.

I carted out today the CRT of a very, very, very old Mac--and Mikey's scratching post. Didn't think much about it until I got home. No more visible signs of a cat. Sigh.

Double sigh.

Triple sigh.

But the FOOD....sublime!!!!

I am now convinced that this unnatural energy (I mean unnatural) is a result of the steroids. My last dose is today.

Watch for the return of the Kvetch Queen, but this has been unbelievable--and amazingly productive.

Not only am I carting stuff out in unbelievable quantities, but I'm moving furniture--for aesthetic reasons. I didn't know I had an aesthetic sense left.

I've never taken serious steroids (only eye drops back in the early days of eye mess up, and once a low dose to get rid of unending bronchitis/allergy), so I dunno, but I hope you retain at least some of this energy. It may also be a natural anti depressant, that you are through with the mishugas..

BBB had a similar burst of energy and a euphoria of physical and mental wellness after she was on the Prednisone for 3 days. It lasted for about a week after her last dose.

I wish there was a natural version of these steroids that would work for both of you and not rip your bodies apart while doing so.

Hey Goil

The steroids are glucocorticosteroids... they will increase your blood sugars (tho it's a low dose) and your appetite, whilst also reducing the inflammation around your brain and the gamma procedure and can act as oral chemo in some cases. (you know I'm not medical, just my experience rambling here)

I think that possibly whatever your feeling is a mixture of everything that has happened. The fact that you have now had the surgery, done the gamma and all the other stuff - well, there's a release there that could have gone either way - you could have terribly fatigued from it all ... or/and hugely euphoric that there is an end to this particular chapter.

I reckon you too the second option.

There's also the art therapy, the "remembering" who you were and moreso "being who you wish to be", there's the talking with the counsellor, having the ability to work, realising that you are worthwhile and "life" is heading in a new direction and you are healing. You've re-established old and made new connections with friends and even tho you are on your own there, there's a realisation you are not alone...

all of those things are positives compared to what you've had to endure for the last 18 months... where the unknown dominated your life.

so, my suggestion, whatever the feeling that your feeling that is making life good - go with it goil - try not to think it will stop when the steroids stop - maybe ask the doc if you could even just reduce the amount to even 0.75mg or smaller for a short time. (even more as a placebo affect)

My experience is 2.5mg (prenisolone) up to 30mg day (moon face and massive and I suffered huge depression whilst on them, mainly because of the way I looked I could not go out and was on own in the USA in Ca.) I was on them for 6 years and very slowly weaned off - so, yeah, it's good not to stay on them - unless it's life threatening. For each operation I undertake I am given 100mg IV during the op - it makes a difference to my recovery.

try not to think of coming off them and it's going to go wrong - just credit yourself hugely for what you've achieved since you were gamma'd - you have moved, shifted, shuffled, tidied, cleaned, cooked, laughed and most importantly BOIDA, you danced. You've painted, had insight and made friends, spoken out publicy, been on TV, met the Walt and put some memories to bed whilst carting out the old CRT and keyboards. You have achieved MASSIVELY - only you did that - YOU and amazing.

Who the heck else woulda done all the things you did to stand up against the system whilst going thru brain surgery and gamma and fighting for the rights of patients to be asked onto the committee.... only YOU Boida couda done that. Pat you back girl, you deserve it.

Whatever, happens over the next few weeks- you are still that person and may find another balance to keep the good in and when you need to kvetch --- well, we all learn from the Mistress of Kvetching... so feel free.

We love you no matter what!!!!!!!!!! Don't worry - we'll be here - happy, sad, grumpy, shiny.... the things that make up this whole community... of which you are one of our leading ladies and we see you as you don't see yourself.

Hugely proud of you. Hoping you will be encouraged to work with the good feelings.... always know tho... you don't have to be happy all the time...or achieving every day, just be you, the you we care about and love.

Take care, be proud of you.


xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

You kinda left me speechless, Izzie. Now that's a first.

(Shifting feet and acting sheepish--also a first.)

Thanks for your kind words and insights. I'm gonna try to hold onto what you say. (One minor correction. Not 18 months. 7 years. I forgot what feeling good felt like.)

Not gonna tell ya what I carted out today. A LOT. Sheila's coming on Monday to help me with the file cabinet.

Am gonna tell you what I found on my closet shelf. Ready?

An Elvis Presley, limited edition, Gates of Graceland Plate, with signed credentials. How did I get this? I can guess. Is it worth a lot? No. Did it make me smile? Big time. In fact, it made me laugh out loud.

BTW, it's good to know that all this eating is not from neurosis. I've never ingested this much food in my life.

Gonna show my sparkly star kitchen to the therapist tomorrow. I hope they don't lock my up for nutsiness.

the statute of limitations has run our years ago.

Thanks, dys. I needed that. And to think I never liked you.

you, my dear, have always liked me, I'm the question mark you never met in NYC.

Wot Iz said!

This whole 7-year passage has shown how remarkably resilient you are. You have coped brilliantly - so you kvetch a bit - hell - I'd be at it full time - but...what a performance!

Well done!

Speechless?


You left her KVETCHLESS!!!!


A miracle!

I agree. A miracle. Trying to work myself up to something, but it's not happening, and you can't force these things.

Don't worry. Natural gifts don't just suddenly disappear. They may lie dormant for a while, but they can't be gone.

Back from Bellevue. Drew a picture of dancing. Actually sang (kinda sorta) while I was drawing.

Sheila's coming up tonight to help with the file cabinet. Got get ready.

Dancin', yeah.