Can anyone answer the question I can't answer myself?

The trouble is, by the time someone gets this deep into an abusive relationship, they don't really remember what healthy self-care and loving yourself really are. Our instincts seem to be better at maintaining connections to others, sometimes, than to ourselves.

No matter what the reason, the end result needs to protect everyone from further harm. I suspect that Eliane's fiance monitors her computer use and has prevented her from accessing this board any further. She may never see these posts. I hope she finds a way out. The hardest part of that may not be the physical action. Instead, it may be finding a way through the destruction of her emotional health.

I worry about her too, and every time I see that thread up in the new
post section, I hope Eliane has answered. I do hope she's not hurt.

amen, i agree with the others. i have seen this first hand how it turns out and it ain't purdy honey!! Run

Would you want to be in a relationship like this for the rest of your life? Run, run, run just like everyone is telling you to do. You are only nineteen years old and no one deserves this kind of life. Abuse never gets better and now is the time to do something about it in your case. I knew someone that lost their life because of an abusive relationship. She had very low self esteem and felt that she was to blame for everything. That is the way an abusier wants you to feel.

Thanks for everyone's replies!

I'm sorry it's taken so long to get back to everyone about what happened, but I think you will all be pleased to hear that I got out!

I left him for good...even though it's still hard to avoid him and he's still trying to put the squeeze on me, I stuck by my decision and I've never been happier!! Now I'm waiting til autumn when I can move far away!

Thanks again for all the advice everyone!

Eliane.

Elaine,

Good for you! Taking yourself out of a controlling sitution can be a frightening experience. Stay away from the places you know he can find you as much as possible. Enlist a friend or family member to stay at your place so that you can avoid any potential harassment he may try as he begins to realize you won't play his control games any longer.

Stay strong and focus on YOU. You've done the right thing. Stick with it. We are pulling for you!

Elaine--

Thanks for the update. I love happy endings.

Excellent news, Elaine. Thanks for letting us know. Feel free to stick around and chat on this thread or others if you like.

Congrats, and good luck.

Stay safe.

RH