Little Miss Naughty-Pants

Poor little thing. 5 years old and already getting punished for being a confident little girl. Find a better kindergarten.

Does she talk to her neighbor while the teacher is giving instruction? Is she talking to herself or a friend when they are supposed to be working? Or, is she offering too many answers, talking without raising her hand to be called on?

When is she chatty? Has the teacher clarified?

Good questions. They have a system where they put a piece of green paper on the board if talking is ok and red paper when they are supposed to be working quietly. It's during the red paper times that she is chatty with her neighbors. She likes to tell stories. It apparently doesn't keep her from getting her work done but I'm guessing it might have some impact on her neighbors. She also talks a lot when they are lined up to walk to different places -- they are supposed to be silent then.

Children!

I'd suggest a face-to-face brainstorming session with the teacher who has probably run into Ducklets before.

I'd also sit Ducklet down and talk about being a Good Student and how unkind some children are when they distract other children and make it harder for them to learn. Encourage her to think of changing her behavior as helping-the-teacher rather than emulating-big-brother.

She probably sees kindergarten as a wonderful party place and she's never encountered the concept of "slow learner".

How long is the kindergarten day?

The day is from 8 to 2:30.

I will talk to her again. I do think she's just excited to be around so many other kids and maybe just a little bit bored. It's still early in the school year where they do a lot of evaluating. The girl can be silent as a stone if she's concentrating on something or trying to solve something. But coloring and writing her name seem to be automated tasks for her and she just starts blabbing.

The teacher is really good. She made Ducklet the calendar helper right off the bat in order to channel some of that energy and she has been communicating with us regularly.

Absolutely.
or change teachers, and yes you can do that.

Have you ever considered getting the kid stoned before school, freeduck? A little pot does wonders for a child's behavior.

Well, there's that frying pan/fire thing. Her teacher is good but she's the teacher to more kids than just Ducklet. I do see some of this behavior as just part of her personality, and I don't want to quash that. On the other hand consideration for others is something I'd like to instill in her.

An extrovert around other people is gonna talk....

Compliments when she's doing the right thing can help.

It's only been 2 weeks.
Put yourself in her shoes - 2 weeks in a new job with all new people.
Now pretend you're only 5 years old.

Oh I know. I'm not saying she's incorrigible.

She is NOT a naughty pants! You know that.

Hurray for the teacher making her calendar helper. Great idea!

If it were me, I'd talk with her and say something like "I know how excited you are about school and I'm excited for you too. I loved school and learning and being around classmates and making friends. Gosh, this is such a fun time in your life. Ms. So and So made you the calendar helper because she recognized how enthusiastic you are about school. She knew you would be a perfect choice for helping her with the class. We've talked before about how you can only talk when the green paper is on the desk. And, you know the teacher has to have that rule so that the whole class can learn, right? You know she isn't doing that to be bossy or or anything like that, right?

Some of the other kids may not know that. So, since you are such a great helper and do understand the rules and why theteacher has to have them, I was wondering if you could help Ms. So and So by SHOWING the other kids how to follow the rules about the green paper and red paper. Could you do that for Ms. So and So? I think she would be very happy to have your help with this.

Good one, squinney. Do you mind if I sample your words?

squinney - excellent

Well, actually she is, but not for talking in class. The "my daughter likes to smack butts" thread is coming soon.

I agree with DrewDad...being a talkative child myself, I was encouraged to do better when positively reinforced for practicing self-control. And I was a people pleaser. I wanted to make my teacher and parents happy so I tried my best. Not always successfully but I did well once I understood how much they wanted me to try.

You can do the same thing at home. I did it with my boys. I would ask them to sit and watch a news program with me (they hated that) but when they sat quietly for 15 minutes I rewarded them with a trip to the lake to fish. Next time I asked them to do it they were much more eager to do so. After a few tries they sat and would work on things quietly while I watched my program. I told them I could not reward them every time but I did expect them to sit quietly when I asked them to. Sometimes I would let them do something fun for a reward other times not...but they understood my expectations and seemed to do better for longer periods of time. They don't have too much of a problem sitting still now...they are kids and they do get the squirms sometimes but I really think it helped. We had to go to a funeral Tuesday night and they sat still the entire service. They just understood it was time to sit still and did it.

They don't always - mind you - my plan was not fool proof..but being boys it was ridiculous before I tried making them sit down and be still. I could not focus anywhere we went where we had to be still. They writhed and tried to get up - this was just my last ditch effort to get some kind of control in the situation...and to teach them some self-control.

Ducklet sounds very normal. I bet before long even if you didn't do anything she would start figuring out what was expected of her and doing it anyway...they are still so early in the school year. And in kindergarten it is all so new. I am sure she will do great whatever you decide to do.

They do have incentives in place in her classroom. They use a stoplight system, which is fairly common. If she doesn't get her clip moved all week then she gets to visit the treasure box on Friday.

We do use the "catch them being good method" at home often and we also use referential speaking, where you talk about your child positively within their hearing. "Mr. Duck, have you noticed how quiet and still Ducklet has been this evening? She's really been using her restaurant manners lately!" Unfortunately, I can't catch her being good at school.

If a kindergarten teacher doesn't have order, a kindergarten teacher has chaos. I wouldn't blame the teacher here--the woman is obviously trying to help the Ducklet make the transition between Independent Charmer and One of a Group.

Squinney has outlined an excellent approach.

Ducklet so reminds me of sozlet. That's come up before.

Sozlet is plain chatty. She went to a camp the summer before kindergarten started that was held indoors, and she had to be quiet in the hallways, and she couldn't stay quiet, and she got in trouble for that and was really bummed. (She's not someone who usually gets in trouble, and had pretty much never gotten in trouble in preschool.) So I was worried about what would happen in kindergarten but thankfully they allow chatting in the halls. No running, no yelling, but chatting isn't a problem.

Has the teacher presented it as a problem? What you quote sounds pretty positive overall. The teacher probably expects to have to do some behavior-shaping over the course of the year, and will probably be addressing that with Ducklet if it's actually a problem. I agree with the positive reinforcement idea -- "Your teacher said you were a really good listener today, good job!"

You can probably also just talk to the teacher directly about it -- "I'm a little concerned that Ducklet is being too chatty in class, do you have any suggestions for how I can help handle that issue?" Probably she'll say, "Oh it's not a problem, don't worry about it," but she might have some concrete ideas that you can implement. I've found that sozlet's teachers have been really appreciative when I do that, and I appreciated that kind of parental involvement when I was a teacher, myself.