" I can't predict how I'm going to feel about someone 20 yrs down the road "
maybe he meant that statement... We can't predict anything that far down the line I would say. But I would bet you could predict you could love your kids that far down the road...I can't imagine not loving them -ever....not liking them sometimes - sure. But I think I would have to have some kind of psychological thing going on to feel there was no way to tell how I would feel about my kids...but then they are a part of me...and I love me...so that makes sense...
baddog - you deleted your post - why?
Mame wrote:He was talking about other kinds of vows, I think... or maybe it was my comment about unconditional love.
No, listen, baddog...if one of my children turned out to be a home-invading, violent, sociopathic monster, I would NOT love them. No, I would not. I would be repulsed and disgusted. I would regret giving them life. Possibly other parents would feel differently, but I have my own view on parental and familial obligations and relationships.
I don't care about blood - I don't think blood is thicker than water. You cannot choose your family and being related to someone whom I don't like doesn't obligate me to like or help them. I would disown any relative whose behaviour revolted me.
I was wrong again! When am I going to learn?
Mame wrote:He was talking about other kinds of vows, I think... or maybe it was my comment about unconditional love.
No, listen, baddog...if one of my children turned out to be a home-invading, violent, sociopathic monster, I would NOT love them. No, I would not. I would be repulsed and disgusted. I would regret giving them life. Possibly other parents would feel differently, but I have my own view on parental and familial obligations and relationships.
I don't care about blood - I don't think blood is thicker than water. You cannot choose your family and being related to someone whom I don't like doesn't obligate me to like or help them. I would disown any relative whose behaviour revolted me.
I agree that there are
extreme circumstances that
could override a previous oath, but these should be few & far between. I also believe that perspectives of
extreme will vary from person to person. There is a huge difference between breaking a vow due to an extreme situation and breaking a vow because of a perceived better deal. All too often - people attempt to justify infidelities, broken promises, etc. by crying extreme when it was really justification for inappropriate and often hurtful behavior.
Mame wrote:baddog - you deleted your post - why?
Operator Error.
Meant to click on edit, clicked on 'x' instead. By the time I realized it - post was gone.
When those traditional vows were first written, people didn't live as long as they do now. You could marry at 16, have 4 kids by 20 and be dead at before 30.
"From this day forward," "in sickness and in health," and "til death do us part," usually meant a short several years and ended in sickness and death.
And for those who think I don't know what I'm talking about when it comes to marriage....I've been married to the same person for 35 years. It's been great, rocky, good and rough and tough at times, but we're still here.
In "olden" times people didn't even live that long, much less be married that long.
I got married later in life - well I say later...these days I think it is more normal thing to get married after 30 - ...maybe I can make it to death...
OK - I think I'm getting it now. Based on input - here is a modified version of the wedding vows. Call it: Wedding Vows (Revision 1)
I, (Bride/Groom), take you (Groom/Bride), to be my (wife/husband), to have and to hold from this day forward, unless/until I change my mind about the way I feel about you.
I, (name), take you, (name), to be my [opt: lawfully wedded] (husband/wife), to be one of my friends of convenience, one of my somewhat faithful partners and my love for now. In the presence of our family and friends, I offer you a solemn possibility to be your partner in sickness and enjoy being with you as long as you are as healthy as I want you to be, and as long as it does not adversely affect what I want out of life. I love you conditionally, and will support you in your goals as long those goals are inline with what I want, to honor and respect you so long as you do what I want you to do, and to cherish you for as little or as long as I desire.
In the presence of these our friends I take thee to be my husband/wife, promising to be unto thee a loving and faithful husband/wife so long as you are all that I desire.
I will be yours in times of plenty, in times of sickness, unless the sickness prevents me from getting what I want, and in times of health, in times of joy, and in times of triumph. I promise to stay with you, until I am ready to move on.
I eagerly anticipate the chance to grow together or apart, getting to know the (man/woman) you will become as long as I approve. I promise to love and cherish you through whatever life may bring us until I don't like it/you anymore.
Please feel free to modify as you see fit. :wink:
yep bad dog, that sounds pretty good to this happy cat. :wink:
How about: I take thee (insert name) for my husband. We'll see how it goes.
Interesting how quiet it got in here after the modified vows were posted. :wink:
Hmmmmmmmmm!
dyslexia wrote:We never took any vows, we simply respect each other.
Well, when you get married in Germany, you 'just' (and only) agree "to marry "xxx".
Vows is something for the (various) religious ceremonies.
Walter Hinteler wrote:dyslexia wrote:We never took any vows, we simply respect each other.
Well, when you get married in Germany, you 'just' (and only) agree "to marry "xxx".
Vows is something for the (various) religious ceremonies.
In Germany - what does a person say (or agree to) prior to giving sworn testimony in a court of law?
Also; I am interested in your perceived play on words: ",,,get married in Germany you 'just' (and only...) Please explain 'just' further.
baddog1 wrote:Interesting how quiet it got in here after the modified vows were posted. :wink:
Hmmmmmmmmm!
As usual, I find your nasty inferences as very religious oriented and intolerant thinking..
Francis wrote:baddog1 wrote:Interesting how quiet it got in here after the modified vows were posted. :wink:
Hmmmmmmmmm!
As usual, I find your nasty inferences as very religious oriented and intolerant thinking..
Classic example of ad hominem!
:wink:
If you don't like the points I make - either; do not read them , do not comment on them, prove them to be wrong, or offer your own. My revision to the original vows is spot-on for at least a few members on here as clearly documented!
