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Tue 14 Aug, 2007 08:14 am
In response to the recent threads concerning infidelity - below is a copy of traditional wedding vows that are clear enough for nearly anyone to understand before agreeing to:
I, (Bride/Groom), take you (Groom/Bride), to be my (wife/husband), to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish; from this day forward until death do us part.
I, (name), take you, (name), to be my [opt: lawfully wedded] (husband/wife), my constant friend, my faithful partner and my love from this day forward. In the presence of God, our family and friends, I offer you my solemn vow to be your faithful partner in sickness and in health, in good times and in bad, and in joy as well as in sorrow. I promise to love you unconditionally, to support you in your goals, to honor and respect you, to laugh with you and cry with you, and to cherish you for as long as we both shall live.
I (name), take you (name) to be my (husband/wife), my partner in life and my one true love. I will cherish our union and love you more each day than I did the day before. I will trust you and respect you, laugh with you and cry with you, loving you faithfully through good times and bad, regardless of the obstacles we may face together. I give you my hand, my heart, and my love, from this day forward for as long as we both shall live.
In the presence of God and these our friends I take thee to be my husband/wife, promising with Divine assistance to be unto thee a loving and faithful husband/wife so long as we both shall live.
I, (name), take you, (name), to be my friend, my lover, the (mother/father) of my children and my (husband/wife). I will be yours in times of plenty and in times of want, in times of sickness and in times of health, in times of joy and in times of sorrow, in times of failure and in times of triumph. I promise to cherish and respect you, to care and protect you, to comfort and encourage you, and stay with you, for all eternity.
I, [name], choose you [name] to be my [husband/wife], to respect you in your successes and in your failures, to care for you in sickness and in health, to nurture you, and to grow with you throughout the seasons of life.
I, (name), take you, (name), to be my partner, loving what I know of you, and trusting what I do not yet know. I eagerly anticipate the chance to grow together, getting to know the (man/woman) you will become, and falling in love a little more every day. I promise to love and cherish you through whatever life may bring us.
Based on your personal beliefs - it would be interesting to see how each of you would modify these vows to support your own personal views. Enjoy!
They all look good to me...This is my favorite: I, (Bride/Groom), take you (Groom/Bride), to be my (wife/husband), to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish; from this day forward until death do us part.
Old fashioned and pretty much covers all the bases without all the sentimental stuff...I am not real sentimental.
But no one takes vows seriously anymore...our word is not our bond...and integrity is not really an issue - it seems anyway. We get out of committments as fast as we get out of a port -a- potty. IMO
mismi40 wrote:But no one takes vows seriously anymore...our word is not our bond...and integrity is not really an issue - it seems anyway. We get out of committments as fast as we get out of a port -a- potty. IMO
I disagree, mismi40. Another gross over-generalization on your part.
I wouldn't change a word.
We never took any vows, we simply respect each other.
JPB wrote:mismi40 wrote:But no one takes vows seriously anymore...our word is not our bond...and integrity is not really an issue - it seems anyway. We get out of committments as fast as we get out of a port -a- potty. IMO
I disagree, mismi40. Another gross over-generalization on your part.
You are right. "No one" is an over generalization. Should not have said it...not that it really matters what I say...it is just an opinion. I am just one person and I don't have a lot of influence on anyone but my boys. But it seems to matter a lot to you. Why?
That seems to be a bunch of different versions right there, rather than a single wedding service. If not, it's awfully repetitive.
There's no "obey" in them, good. That's the most traditional one ("honor and obey" in the bride's version -- we omitted that.) We did some version of the first one.
I wouldn't do one with the God/ Divine stuff. And the "love each other a little more every day" is sweet but too -- new-agey, saccharine, something.
I also have a problem with the mother/father of my children one -- what if they don't want kids? What if they can't have them... does that impact the marriage vows somehow?
And the "trusting what I don't know" / "promise to love and cherish you through whatever life may bring us" one is eek. If the guy turns out to be abusive once the honeymoon's over? Just would be ooky to promise that part, I think.
mismi40 wrote:JPB wrote:mismi40 wrote:But no one takes vows seriously anymore...our word is not our bond...and integrity is not really an issue - it seems anyway. We get out of committments as fast as we get out of a port -a- potty. IMO
I disagree, mismi40. Another gross over-generalization on your part.
You are right. "No one" is an over generalization. Should not have said it...not that it really matters what I say...it is just an opinion. I am just one person and I don't have a lot of influence on anyone but my boys. But it seems to matter a lot to you. Why?
Oh JPB - It doesn't matter why...just suffice it to say that I acknowledge you are right...I probably live my life in over-generalizations - mainly because I stay at home and don't get out a lot! Please forgive me and know that I don't mean to cast a bad look on everything...I just exxagerate...it seems to be my nature. I feel like I just got beat up and and am groveling...(weak laugh)
I exaggerate all the time too.
I must do it a million times a day.
I think vows are ridiculous. I can't predict how I'm going to feel about someone 20 yrs down the road, and even if I love him then more than I did the day we married, that has nothing to do with the vows we spoke. I think they're pointless. For me, I mean. You want to say them and they mean something to you, that's wonderful. But for me, they're as stupid as swearing on the bible. Of course, I am an aetheist.
There, that's what I didn't like about "love each other a little more every day," thanks Mame. You can't promise what your feelings will be. You can promise actions, but not feelings.
Mame really gets the point. Vows to uphold the office of the president are fine, although not taken seriously by this pres, but vows to do something much later in life are pointless and serve as a set up for guilt and disappoinment in a few years--whether you are religious or not.
Maybe I have strong feelings about this, but in past years, before divorce was obtainable unless under the most extreme conditions, women and some men, could be abused and enslaved, without recourse.
Too bad there is so much divorce these days, but I would rather see freedom and safety rather than a couple miserably pretending to be happy.
I also don't believe in unconditional love. I think there are always conditions. Even with your kids.
Hey, this seems to be an "we all agree" thread - how nice!
I mostly agree with dyslexia's statement though: we don't need vows
to be committed to each other.
The mister wolf and I are not married.
we just love each other. We respect each other and we want to see the other be happy and do the things they want to do.
No need to 'vow' to love someone.
I know I love him. Period.
Mame wrote:I think vows are ridiculous. I can't predict how I'm going to feel about someone 20 yrs down the road, and even if I love him then more than I did the day we married, that has nothing to do with the vows we spoke. I think they're pointless. For me, I mean. You want to say them and they mean something to you, that's wonderful. But for me, they're as stupid as swearing on the bible. Of course, I am an aetheist.
(Not sure if you have kids) - however if you do; then you're saying that you
may not love them 20 years down the road. Is that correct?
What have children to do with wedding vows?
Your statement doesn't make sense.
He was talking about other kinds of vows, I think... or maybe it was my comment about unconditional love.
No, listen, baddog...if one of my children turned out to be a home-invading, violent, sociopathic monster, I would NOT love them. No, I would not. I would be repulsed and disgusted. I would regret giving them life. Possibly other parents would feel differently, but I have my own view on parental and familial obligations and relationships.
I don't care about blood - I don't think blood is thicker than water. You cannot choose your family and being related to someone whom I don't like doesn't obligate me to like or help them. I would disown any relative whose behaviour revolted me.
Well, now you know. They are.
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