her family knows shes nuts and sent her to a counselor (she asked me to go with her but im trying to like cut off myself completely so i basically said no. That plus i have visions of the counselor somehow pinning this all on my "insensitivity")
her family is trying to bring her back to normal..but yea she has basically always been this way. We went out and broke up before and she swallowed 10 advil. I am a paramedic so I knew this wasnt anything that was going to hurt her, but I took her to the ER because i didnt know if that was ALL she took. Thankfully it was, but she has a history of stuff like this.
I forced her to take a home pregnancy test in the past when she did it...literally sat in front of her and watched her do it because i just became frustrated with her stories.
What was weird about this though was she told me monday she had her period. Then she tells me not to worry, we break up, and all of a sudden she didnt have her period. Her change of tune is what is really making me paranoid about this pregnancy thing. What makes it even worse is that she is still throwing up (or at least she says she is) and she says she feels very sick. But she said the ER told her her test was negative after i made her call today. She also saw her gyno last week and the gyno hasnt said anything but hasnt called her back on her lab tests yet (this was tuesday that she went)
i am just trying to figure out how she could be late EVEN after we used both forms, and her test at the ER allegedly came out neg.
Look, do the routine with sitting in the bathroom with her to do the test. You could even get one tonight and do it tonight.
Once you know for sure that she is not pregnant, well, even before that, Do not have sex with her again!
I'm sorry that she's messed up. I'm betting you are too. But you can not solve her problems, you already know this. When you find out for sure that she is not pregnant, Stay away from her.
Then try to figure out why you were with her in the first place.
Don't make the same mistake again.
A week late is nothing.
Plus, she could be lying. She could have already had a period at this point.
Go. Buy a test. Get over there. Make her take it.
Don't give into her emotional blackmail. Remove yourself from her,
meaning: don't accept her phone calls, don't see her and just try to avoid
her in general. Once she realizes she won't get any reaction out of you,
she'll stop on her own.
Oh, and she's not pregnant, that's part of her spiel too. Don't buy into it.
Just pretend she doesn't exist.
Yeah, CJ is here!
Whew!
<wipes brow>
Listen to what she says!
<off to read water softener threads>
ill try that...i just hope in 9 months a little djr5a doesnt pop up
Don't worry, her parents won't let that happen, even if it were true.
Doesn't sound likely that she's pregnant but stress can delay a period.
As far as removing yourself from her altogether, it's probably the best thing you can do for both her and yourself. She needs to move on.
IF she went to the Gyno and they did a pregnancy test on her and it was positive - they would have already called her. For sure. I don't think she is pregnant...and I don't think that you should feel responsible for her. She does need help...and her co-dependency on you is not going to do it. She does need a clean break so that she can get help and lead a normal life and meet someone who does love her and will care for her as she wants. Not that you haven't - it's just not your place anymore. Her family should help her through this now.
Caribou
I'm with you!
I guess there is one other thing I would do - and that is make sure her family is aware that there maybe some drama about to happen so that they can keep an eye on her. In good conscience.
Move on, don't look back and stay out of similar situations.
Djr--
Welcome to A2K.
You are an EMT, not a psychiatrist. Your Ex-Girlfriend needs help--and you are not qualified either to give her help or to assist her in finding help.
Mental Health professionals do not treat their own families because they cannot be objective about the problems of people with whom they have emotional ties.
If you are on speaking terms with her family tell them that you are concerned for her mental health--and for your own mental health. You can't cope with the drama that your Ex-Girlfriend brings to a relationship.
Then tell your Ex-Girlfriend, "Goodbye." You have neither the maturity nor the experience nor the wisdom to handle her problems. You wish her well, but it is time for both of you to move on.
Then follow through. Do not talk to her. Do not conduct phone therapy.
She is not a stable person and you cannot provide her with stability without ignoring your own needs.
Good luck.
Totally agree with Noddy...You do want to make sure her parents understand her state of mind. That is kind and considerate....the best way to handle it!
Yeah, Heatwave, we were saying the same things, just with cross posts.
djr, let us know how it goes.
This is a great place to rant, get advice and support.
There are many wise people here.
Listen... Hear that advice about cutting her out of your life?
It's like a chant.
oh im completely aware i am not capable of handling her emotional issues. In fact, when she swallowed the advil the last time I made sure she received a psych eval at the hospital. I am not sure what happened but the psychiatrist found nothing going on at the time...go figure, she OBVIOUSLY did a good job.
But no I know i am not in any position to provide or decide on that sort of help for her. Fortunately, her family knows she is unstable now and they seem like they are keeping an eye on her.
The pregnancy thing is what is really on my mind.
So, about that pregnancy test...
Ah, if you are worried about it, why don't you go buy one and take it with her?
Seems the easiest thing to do, rather than just sit there and worry.
(She's lying! How many times has she lied now?)
But I understand worrying....
But doing something and knowing are better than doing nothing, knowing nothing and worrying
i would if i was there. She is 300 miles away, the next time i will be near here is the end of august...when i really dont want to be around her by then.
O M G.
you never mentioned the distance...
Okay, how's your relationship with her Mother?
I know this might sound off the wall and crazy, but you worrying about something that most likely is nothing, is such a waste of energy.
Talk to her Mom, tell her your concerns. I would think that she would want to know if her daughter is pregnant or if she's lying. I'd think she'd get an answer pretty Darn quick, too.
And getting her clued into how you and her daughter aren't together, and how she's behaving, would be a good heads up.
You don't want to agonize for weeks, do you?
we certainly dont have the kind of relationship. Her mother doesnt know she is sexually active.
