Don 't Take $$ From Strangers ??

Chai wrote:

happycat wrote:
Doowop - why would you have punched his lights out? for what reason???

Oh....My.....God.....

If you cannot imagine why a father would do that when a stranger handed his kid money without consulting him...there's just no way to ever make you understand.

Has no one ever hear the oft told advice "Don't take candy from strangers?"

If it wouldn't be such a horrible thing to relive, I'd like to hear what a parent of a child who been hurt by someone who did something that was "no big deal" would have to say. I would imagine if they could go back in time, whatever event lead up to their child being injured would certainly have been a big deal.

Huh?

If any weirdo actually hurt my kid, I'd want to punch his lights out and a lot worse still.

But to want to punch someone's lights out because he gave my kid a five dollar bill? Really?

I'd think it odd, I'd be a bit weirded out, I'd give my kid a lecture on not accepting money from strangers, yeah. But wanting to punch someone who did that? Are you serious?

Wanted: some perspective.

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gustavratzenhofer wrote:

Chai, your advice, while good, was a bit confusing because of your sentence structure. I would suggest you calm down a bit, gather your thoughts, and type with resolve, aiming for clarity.

Hey, I just took your hooker advice on the $5 topic. You're a funny man.

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nimh wrote:

Chai wrote:
happycat wrote:
Doowop - why would you have punched his lights out? for what reason???

Oh....My.....God.....

If you cannot imagine why a father would do that when a stranger handed his kid money without consulting him...there's just no way to ever make you understand.

Has no one ever hear the oft told advice "Don't take candy from strangers?"

If it wouldn't be such a horrible thing to relive, I'd like to hear what a parent of a child who been hurt by someone who did something that was "no big deal" would have to say. I would imagine if they could go back in time, whatever event lead up to their child being injured would certainly have been a big deal.

Huh?

If any weirdo actually hurt my kid, I'd want to punch his lights out and a lot worse still.

But to want to punch someone's lights out because he gave my kid a five dollar bill? Really?

I'd think it odd, I'd be a bit weirded out, I'd give my kid a lecture on not accepting money from strangers, yeah. But wanting to punch someone who did that? Are you serious?

Wanted: some perspective.

Oi, have you got kids? I bet not!

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Chai wrote:

Oh....My.....God.....

<snip>

...there's just no way to ever make you understand.

Why not accept that people disagree.

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Doowop wrote:

Oi, have you got kids? I bet not!

Chai doesn't have kids. Wanna make something of it?

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Way past my bedtime, and I'm obviously getting grumpy. Apologies to Mr/Mrs/Ms Nim.

I'm off to slumberland.

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This thread has become very active.

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Oof, there it is again.

I have a kid. I'd find it weird, but I wouldn't go punching anyone. I'd just find it weird, and probably talk to my kid about it in those terms. "OK, that was weird..."

I do see what boomer was saying about the worry that down the line it would turn out that the guy did something much worse and that by saying something to the police, that worse thing could have been prevented. I'm not sure I would do it but I see the point. Just telling the police that ("this guy dropped $5 in my kid's lap, it was weird") probably won't do much at all -- it's certainly not enough to get the guy in trouble in and of itself. But it might put the police on notice, and then if there are enough other "weird" complaints ("this guy was taking pictures of kids at the playground and ran away when I approached him, it was weird..."), maybe they'd have their eye on him and prevent him from doing something that goes beyond just weird.

Generally speaking (did ebrown ever start a general topic? I didn't see it if so), I think that it's important to let kids develop their OWN gut feelings. They can't do that if we're constantly running interference. That doesn't mean no protection at all, but over-protection has its own dangers.

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OmSigDAVID wrote:

I don 't think that aaannnyyyyooone on this thread is paranoid.

I disagree!

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Just Because You're Paranoid Doesn't Mean They Aren't Out to Get You!

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Let us examine the childs reaction to the incident.

David states the child had an expression reminiscent of a "deer in the headlights". I interpret this as confused, possibly a little frightened.

Let us also examine good safety procedure for children anywhere. Children are often told "If someone, or their actions, make you feel uncomfortable tell an adult, any adult. The adult in the seat next to you, any of the strap hangers, the bus driver, phone the police, anyone!" Telling several people is even better. This is excellent advice to children. Telling someone removes the power held by the do-er.

Whether it is an over reaction to shout HEY THAT MAN GAVE ME MONEY! or to phone the police is immaterial. The fact that the child was feeling uncomfortable, confused and possibly frightened by the mans action is enough reason to tell another adult.

Telling another adult or police would probably result in a comment such as "well hes left the bus and isn't an immediate danger to you but you should tell your parents just to be on the safe side".

Thus reassuring the child.

Out of curiosity David what was the childs reaction? (apart from looking stunned)

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Montana wrote:

OmSigDAVID wrote:
I don 't think that aaannnyyyyooone on this thread is paranoid.

I disagree!

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I was just about to say almost the same thing as Soz just said. I would have had a talk with my son about strangers and possible dangers, then I would have left it at that.
I know it's not something people do all the time, but I have a hard time saying that what the man did was weird.
Maybe he was just having a great day and decided he'd like someone else to have a great day.
Maybe the mom and child looked poor and he just wanted to help.

All I know is that it wouldn't have freaked me out and I wouldn't have automatically thought this guy was a child rapest or some such thing.

As a parent, I talked with my son about the dangers when it came to strangers and he got that. He was careful around strangers. Even when I was around, he was cautious around people he didn't know, so I knew he got it.

As I had these talks with my son when he was little, I always made sure I let him know that all stranger are not bad, it's just that we're not sure which ones are, so he just has to be careful around them when I wasn't around.

I was very careful in how I talked with my son about strangers because I didn't want him to live in fear and even then, he still ended up being a bit fearful, but better safe than sorry.

Some parents are way over protective, in my opinion and I think this causes much more harm than good for their children.

Kids absorb a lot from their parents behavior and a paranoid parent will most likely create a paranoid child, who will grow up to be afraid of their own shaddow. I've seen it happen and I think it's sad!

I won't talk to children that I don't know anymore because I've gotten enough dirty looks from doing so, that I'm better off ignoring children all together, which I think is a bloody shame!

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NickFun wrote:

Just Because You're Paranoid Doesn't Mean They Aren't Out to Get You!

Did paranoia protect Leon Trotsky ?

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ehBeth wrote:

Doowop wrote:
Oi, have you got kids? I bet not!

Chai doesn't have kids. Wanna make something of it?

doowop was addressing that to nimh....

and nimh....again, you take things so literally sometimes...actually most of the time.

punch someones lights out = getting upset with, perhaps confronting, getting angry at, being indignant at....etc.

Do you really think I would stand up in a bus, grab someone by the lapels and punch him literally in the face? God...Just so you know, I have never hit anyone in the face, in fact, I don't think in my adult life I have ever hit anyone.

yes, if someone gave a child under my care money I would "punch his light out" in that I would certainly immediately confront him with "WHAT do you think you are doing?! DON'T you give my child something without me knowing about it!!! WHY would you try to give a child that!!!???

If I was stupid enough to give a strange child money, or anything really, and the parent/guardian confronted "punched my lights out" like that....I'd become VERY apologetic, because I would realize how badly I overstepped my bounds at being familiar with someone elses child.

If the person became offended, but really meant well, oh well....maybe he learns a lesson to stay away from momma lions cub. Like I said, if it came to the protection of a child, I don't care who thinks I'm over reacting.

If the person became/acted offended and pulled the "Jeez, I was just TRYING to be NICE", well, you know how I feel about that.

Just remembered, a couple of weeks ago, I was waiting somewhere, and there was a woman there also with a little girl. The mom and I were talking, so the kid by that time was included....the little girl became a little cranky, complained in a whisper to the mom she was hungry.

I leaned in to the mom and said so the little girl couldn't here "I have a banana, would she like that?" and the mom said, "oh yeah, that'd be great"

No way in the world would I EVER have offered food directly to the child. And that wouldn't because of being all PC about allergies and stuff....it would be because I'm not going to get between momma lion and her cub.

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Chai wrote:

If the person became offended, but really meant well, oh well....maybe he learns a lesson to stay away from momma lions cub. Like I said, if it came to the protection of a child, I don't care who thinks I'm over reacting.

I totally agree as a general concept. If my child's safety is actually at risk, I'm going to do whatever it takes to protect her, other people's feelings be damned.

It's just, was this such a risk? Relative risks need to be weighed. Is blowing up at the guy who gave the kid $5 really going to be more protective, in sum, or will it be more likely to make the kid nervous and edgy and worried about everyone and their motivations?

I've taken several self-defense courses and every one mentions that predators look for people who are nervous, ill-at-ease. That simply being confident -- long, even strides, not looking around fearfully, shoulders back, chin up -- is often enough to indicate to the baddies that this particular one probably is not the best one to mess with. (This isn't 100% of course, but in terms of averages and what makes one more or less safe.) Feeling like perverts are lurking around every corner doesn't impart that kind of confidence.

I know you're just talking about this one instance, but if that level of protection continues across the board ("How DARE you give my child that banana!!!? Yes he was hungry but jeez, get a clue!!"), I don't think it actually averages out to increased safety for the child.

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dadpad wrote:

Quote:
Let us examine the childs reaction to the incident.

David states the child had an expression reminiscent of a "deer in the headlights".
I interpret this as confused, possibly a little frightened.

He appeared momentarily startled.
He did not show fear of any danger.

<snip>

Quote:
The fact that the child was feeling uncomfortable,
confused and possibly frightened by the mans action is enough reason to tell another adult.

It was not my intention to give the impression
that he was uncomfortable, nor in a state of fear; just startled for a moment.
Then he looked down at his lap.
He looked surprized; judging by appearances, he did not seem confused,
any more than those of us who were seated around him.
It was plain that he had just been presented with a $5 bill
by someone who was on his way out of the bus along with a group of others who left.

Other than his hand,
the donor was not visible to him, because of the crowd in front of the boy.

<snip>

Quote:

Out of curiosity David what was the childs reaction? (apart from looking stunned)

He looked at the cash for a few seconds,
with admiration of it on his face.
Its hard to describe subjectivity.

He looked at the bill longingly ( if I can put it that way ).
His mouth was open a little, with a little smile.
Then he put it in his pocket.
A few minutes later, he took it out again and looked at it some more.
David

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Chai wrote:

ehBeth wrote:
Doowop wrote:
Oi, have you got kids? I bet not!

Chai doesn't have kids. Wanna make something of it?

doowop was addressing that to nimh....

that was my point

that doowop was throwing the 'got kids' thing into the equation. it's irrelevant.

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Again, I feel the same as Soz. If I felt my child was in real danger, I would jump in front of a bullet to protect him, but in this particular situation, the mother was right there with the child and the person who dropped the $5 in his lap was aware of this, so I don't see why anyone would get overly upset about this.

I think it's bad enough that kids can't go to the park or anywhere without their parent without being accused of neglect these days and if things continue the way they are, I'm afraid our future generations of kids are going to end up being paranoid, anti-social adults who are afraid to leave their own homes.

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Chai wrote:

ehBeth wrote:
Doowop wrote:
Oi, have you got kids? I bet not!

Chai doesn't have kids. Wanna make something of it?

doowop was addressing that to nimh....

and nimh....again, you take things so literally sometimes...actually most of the time.

punch someones lights out = getting upset with, perhaps confronting, getting angry at, being indignant at....etc.

Do you really think I would stand up in a bus, grab someone by the lapels and punch him literally in the face? God...Just so you know, I have never hit anyone in the face, in fact, I don't think in my adult life I have ever hit anyone.

yes, if someone gave a child under my care money I would "punch his light out"
in that I would certainly immediately confront him with
"WHAT do you think you are doing?! DON'T you give my child something
without me knowing about it!!! WHY would you try to give a child that!!!???

Chai:
This event occurred by the door.
The donor was in motion, on his way out; ( gone in an instant ).
In order to accomplish this confrontation,
u 'd have to chase him into the street.

Wud u have done that ?
David

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Don 't Take $$ From Strangers ??

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