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My boyfriend of 8 years posted pics on Craigslist

 
 
Reply Sat 26 Nov, 2016 08:28 am
I am very confused hurt and angry. My bf of 8years started trucking 8months ago. And last month I just happen to went on his cell phone and I found in his browser that he posted adds on Craigslist and nude pics and wanting sexual favours. So I confronted him and he didn't admit to it at first and then he did adventually said he did. So then I asked why he said because he was lonely and he was worried I would be cheating on him!
But in my mind he was making excuses for himself to wiggle out of this bad spot. He did said he he was on it for a hour and deleted it. But no I found out more in his old message archive that he chatted and was exchanging nude pics and dirty talk and even did FaceTime with them and oh and even joined another hook up site to meet this women that asked him to go and meet her there. I could go on and on but I'm so confused and don't no how to handle this cuz I do love the man but the trust is gone and don't no how to repair this or do I just let it go?
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Type: Question • Score: 1 • Views: 217 • Replies: 6
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ehBeth
 
  1  
Reply Sat 26 Nov, 2016 09:16 am
@Confusedgirl45,
Have you asked him what he is going to do to regain your trust?
Confusedgirl45
 
  1  
Reply Sat 26 Nov, 2016 09:27 am
@ehBeth,
I have mentioned for him to delete both of his email accounts because he had so many emails and nasty stuff. Also asked if I could look at his cell went he gets off the road from trucking. But!! What if he isn't honest and deletes all and keeps what he wants to keep to make it look good.. just no trust in my heart at the moment
ehBeth
 
  1  
Reply Sat 26 Nov, 2016 09:32 am
@Confusedgirl45,
I think you're going at it the wrong way. Don't tell him what you want him to do.

Tell him how you feel -that you no longer trust him.

Ask him what he is going to do to regain your trust. This is for him to sort out.

You'll learn a lot from his response.
Confusedgirl45
 
  1  
Reply Sat 26 Nov, 2016 09:37 am
@ehBeth,
I have told him repeatedly the trust is gone and he has to earn it, but he thinks I will push it aside like everything else in my life. But otherwise how else do I get him to understand all this crap he has done to me
ehBeth
 
  2  
Reply Sat 26 Nov, 2016 10:02 am
@Confusedgirl45,
Confusedgirl45 wrote:

I have told him repeatedly the trust is gone and he has to earn it


you're telling him stuff
that (in my experience ) doesn't work

you have to put the onus on him

ask him what he is going to do

__


while he's thinking about that, you need to think about the entire relationship

if he doesn't want to regain your trust, do you want to stay in the relationship the way it is. will you be able to accept that he is not going to change (and again, you can't tell him to change, that has to be his decision and plan)

if you don't want to stay in the relationship, what plans are you making to change things for yourself
Confusedgirl45
 
  1  
Reply Sat 26 Nov, 2016 11:43 am
@ehBeth,
Yes I can't tell him to change and he has to want it and I guess I feel like i am wrong with maybe on I wasn't pleasing him enough or I am doing not just there for him! So this all plays in my mind. But I do want to work on this relationship cuz he is a good man but he is overall sexually active which he did point that out in his chats with other people. And relationship I just want the trust back and may not be perfect but I never have done this to him with cheating
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