Cheating Wife

How about instead of playing gotcha (and no one here would be able to figure out how to possibly divine the wife to wife interactions anyway), why not get marital counseling? Confront your issues together. She might admit to an affair. She might demonstrate to you that it's all in your noggin. Or you might not know. You might stay together, or not.

But it'd be a helluva lot more honest.

Seriously. What are you going to do with this absolutely perfect proof that you crave? Humiliate her? Get a divorce? You can get a divorce without destroying her in the process (and create a toxic situation for your children). Or is this just a play to avoid paying alimony?

Wanting to be close to the wife of the guy she is cheating with is pretty fucked up. IT shows a level of cruelty and calculation that I would have trouble staying married to, and I dont believe in divorce.

What you would look for is your wife being more chummy and submissive to the woman than she normally is, like making a point to laugh at all of the other womans jokes even when they are not funny.

There are plenty of websites that explain all the signs of affairs, just search 'signs /clues/indicators of an affair / she is cheating'

As such things are 3rd party lists of signs - If she ticks off enough, you can print the screen and have a foundation to discuss things with her (if you want to discuss things with her), without her easily saying 'you're just imagining it all' (if she is in fact having one).

What you are trying to achieve will have a great bearing on how you handle things (so were I you, I would work that out in my own mind first).

Well at the moment it is clearly to ascertain the nature of reality. Surely THAT is ok with you and understandable...... After he finds out what is real then he figures out what he wants, as we all do if we have any talent for living this life.

Sometimes you just have to go with your gut. If your gut is telling you something wrong, chances are there is something wrong. You do what you have to do to secure enough evidence to make judgement. Leave work early a few times if you have to. Go through papers etc etc. Some might be against this but if you suspect cheating do what you gotta do.

Why would it not be okay with me?

The point of my comment was:

- if he is looking to understand her (motives etc), it will be a different conversation to;
- if he looking for her to just stop the affair, which will be a different conversation to;
- if he is looking to just blame her for the marital problems, which will be a different conversation to;
- if he is looking for a divorce...etc.

The attitude underlying each of those conversations differs. This will come through in his voice when he speaks. It will affect how the tone of the conversation, and therefore the content of the conversation.

Further, if he knows what he wants, he is much less likely to get sidetracked, and much more likely to ask the important questions.

If he goes into the conversation without knowing what he wants out of it (other than the truth - ie. what he is going to do with the truth) - the conversation following any revelations could go down a path he didn't intend.

Perhaps it's a 3-some.

Perhaps it's a lesbian relationship.

Perhaps you are feeling this way because you are being left out.

Perhaps it's a matter of your over-active imagination.

If you suspect her of cheating don't disregard your gut feeling. If you have already tried to talk to her about it and she is not being honest then I think you should investigate. There are many ways to find out, but I think the best way to get the answers your looking for would be a voice activated recorder. A lot of cheaters talk on the cell phones in their cars where it is private. If she is doing anything behind your back putting the recorder in her car for one day would confirm your suspicions. There are plenty of ways of checking up on a spouse this is just one way, probably the most effective.

You want this guy to find out if his wife is doing something behind his back...

...by hiding a recorder in her car!!!!!

Has the world gone insane?

i agree with everyone comments