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Mon 25 Aug, 2008 08:50 am
A man walks into a restaurant with a full-grown ostrich behind him. The waitress asks them for their orders.
The man says, 'A hamburger, fries and a coke,' and turns to the ostrich, 'What's yours?'
'I'll have the same,' says the ostrich.
A short time later the waitress returns with the order 'That will be $9.40 please,' and the man reaches into his pocket and pulls out the exact change for payment.
The next day, the man and the ostrich come again and the man says, 'A hamburger, fries and a coke'
The ostrich says, 'I'll have the same.'
Again the man reaches into his pocket and pays with exact change.
This becomes routine until the two enter again. 'The usual?' asks the waitress.
'No, this is Friday night, so I will have a steak, baked potato and a salad,' says the man.
'Same,' says the ostrich.
Shortly the waitress brings the order and says, 'That will be $32.62.'
Once again the man pulls the exact change out of his pocket and places it on the table.
The waitress cannot hold back her curiosity any longer. 'Excuse me, sir. How do you manage to always come up with the exact change in your pocket every time?
'Well,' says the man, 'several years ago I was cleaning the attic and found an old lamp. When I rubbed it, a Genie apeared and offered me two wishes. My first wish was that if I ever had to pay for anything, I would just put my hand in my pocket and the right amount of money would always be there.'
'That's brilliant!' says the waitress. Most people would ask for a million dollars or something, but you'll always be as rich as you want for as long as you live. It's brilliant!'
'That's right. Whether it's a gallon of milk or a Rolls Royce, the exact amount of money is always there,' says the man.
The waitress asks, 'What's with the ostrich?'
The man sighs, pauses and answers, 'My second wish was for a tall chick with a big butt and long legs who agrees with everything I say.'
A man walks into a bar and sits down. The man has a little 1 foot tall man sitting on his shoulder playing a little piano. The bartender says, "ok, I have to know the story behind this". The may says, "well, I found this lamp with a genie in it and got three wishes. My first wish was to be independently wealthy. My second wish was to live a long and happy life". The bartender says, "so... what was your third wish?". The man says, "come on buddy, you don't really think I wished for a 12 inch "pianist" do you?"
A blind man walks into a bar and says "OUCH!".
A skeleton walks into a bar and says "Give me a beer, a mop and a bucket".
two jews walk into a bar........they buy it.
a baby seal walks into a bar.... bartender asks "What can I get you"?
baby seal answers.... "anything but a canadian club"