Yes I appreciate every comment - you guys have helped me more in the only major problems I've ever encountered in my marriage than anyone else, and, as you can see, they're fairly minor problems compared to much of what we see on here. So thank you all.
I don't think some of the recent concerns here are founded - I know my wife well enough to be absolutely certain of her honesty and up-frontness on this. I agree with happycat that if the situation were reversed she wouldn't be happy, and that's something that'll come up in conversations over the next few weeks I'm sure. I also think you're right that my stomach will do the backflip when she decides to go again, but I think attempting to keep her home would be a much much worse decision. Out of interest, she says (perhaps prematurely) that she's totally done! She says she can't ever see herself wanting to do this again - maybe for a weekend but not a major trip like this. She knows she would have regretting not doing this trip given the chance, but she also loves married life and says she can't ever see herself wanting to do it again - it's a one time thing for her I think.
Sakhi- When I said half an hour I meant that that's how long her friend was on the guy's shoulders before her, so it means it wasn't like she had only a split second to decide whether to turn him down or accept his offer, she had already decided that it would be okay by the time she was asked. I think you're right that I hang on every word that makes me feel important to her; those are my own demons that I have to deal with stemming from my own insecurity - she knows that and is very caring about it.
I feel that everytime we go through this kind of thing, the boundaries are set by what people's own subculture says about it. A traditional Christian household isn't going to even accept going to bars in many cases, whereas a more crazy postmodern kind of arrangement is going to yield a different standard, and I feel that we're somewhere in between - our lives are fairly non-partying compared with a lot of people and maybe that's why I find this particular situation so threatening at times. Incidentally, Rob doesn't feel as happy about all this as he tries to appear; he's just deathly scared of losing his wife to one of her vast malcontented swings and thinks if he puts up with her doing whatever she likes, married or not, he'll stand a better chance of keeping her. What an awful feeling to have about your own wife. I'm so glad to have mine.
I'll share an excerpt of her email to me this morning:
Quote:I am very satisfied with this trip and everything we were able to do. It is an experience I will never forget and I am forever grateful to you for giving me this chance. I can't tell you how much this has meant to me. I think I will return a bit of a new woman. Returning home is very needed now and I am very excited to see you. I think of you constantly and can't wait to tell you everything.
