Reminiscent of Heine winery in North Carolina (pronounced "heye-nee" there): "Get a little Heine underneath the Christmas tree . . . "
Or Art's Market in Tesuque, New Mexico, famous for it's butcher, and which sells T-shirts: Nobody Beats Art's Meat
What is it that a man has sticking out of his pajamas which is hard enough to hang his hat on?
his head.
Two young women came over from Europe and were wandering around New York. Following their custom of eating what the locals eat even if they didn't know what it was they ordered hot dogs. The first looked at it and asked "What part of the dog did you get?"
If you drive I94 between Battle Creek and Kalamazoo you'll come to a Climax.
Also, if you turn around and head east, towards Detroit, you'll go to Hell.
Q: Why are hurricanes normally named after women?
A: When they come they're wild and wet, but when they go they take your house and car with them.
reminiscent of hillbilly wisdom: what to a tornado and a divorce have in common?
Somebody's fixin' to lose them a mo-bile home . . .
By the way, you heard of the new "Divorcee Barbie" doll?
She comes with all of Ken's accessories.
Saw a great bumper sticker on a little red convertible with a red-head in it once--hot pink on black:
When i grow up, i wanna be just like Barbie
That bitch has got everything!
I saw one on a truck once, cute cowgirl driving. It read "If you like my bumper, you should see my headlights!".
At dinner one night my wife was talking about a great product called Wine Away which is great for taking out red wine stains and all sorts of other stains. We were eating beets, so my brother asks: "What about beet stains? Does it work on those?" She didn't know, so he pipes in: "Because if it doesn't, there is another product, Beet Off, that works really well." After we stopped laughing, he proceeded to translate the entire conversation and the pun into Japanese for his Japanese guest, which was almost funnier than the joke in English.
The one that really stopped me was on a motorcycle that said "If you can read this the bitch fell off".
