Your thoughts on this little story

Well... most of you know how I look at opening family mail. I think it's no big deal that her son opened the package (even though I don't quite understand why somebody would be interested in something that wasn't sent to him/her, especially your parents, I never had any interest in my parent's mail). But I think it's 100 % disrespectful to steal somebody's gift from them and this is what I call what he did - stealing.

Send her a gift of a vibrator with her sons names engraved on it. She'll never see it, they'll never speak of it, and all your future correspondences will arrive unscathed.

is it possible that the parents/mother have actually told the children that any mail arriving should be considered "common" mail , to be opened by anyone who is in the house ?
since the mother has not even dropped a hint to you , that she is the slightest bit annoyed , that's the only conclusion i can draw .

(somewhat along this line : a couple we know quite well (relatives) told their children - when they were quite young - that everyone was to be addressed by her/his first neme - no mother , dad , granma , grandpa , uncle ... first names only !
since it came from their parents , the children didn't know any different .
the granparents were quite upset about this (they happen to be german)
but that's what it was .
whenever we visited , the kids called us by our first names - no problem for us but it drove grandma and grandpa up the tree !
the kids were quite polite and we always enjoyed meeting them .
when they entered the workforce - and later the army - they did adjust to "formalities" with some reluctance - but adjust they did !).
hbg

16 and 19! oy. I don't think that is right at all, but, agree that it is one of those "she's the mom, she has to deal with it things".

The vibrator might just encourage them.

There is a good friend of mine who lives a few provinces away. Sometimes I'll send her stuff - that is, until i found out her hubby was opening the parcels first (and letters!) if she wasn't home when the mail came.

I don't understand how she is ok with it, at all, and so just stopped. I tried talking to her about it briefly, in the vein of "The family parcels are for all of ya, but the ones with your name are things that I are special just for you. Only you would get it, anyways. "
She didn't see the point, or, didn't want to go with it. Whatever, right, her choice.
Now I either give it to her when I see her, or not at all, and stick mainly to emails (though he probably sees those too!).

I mean, if it were for the entire family, I would address it that way!

She has a smaller kid, and I sent him his own special little thing in his name. When I asked if he got it and what he thought, turns out they all opened it together!
Well, what a way to ruin a nice thrill for the kid, and the whole point of me packaging it seperately, y'know? The whole idea on my end was to for him to have something special just for himself, and his own little responsibility and such, and so he wouldn't feel left out when mom and dad gets their own mail.
It's part of being a 'big kid' - at least I thought.

As you've probably picked up, I am big on privacy. Grew up with so little, I really treasure it and think of it as a valuable resource that is to be protected tooth n nail.

[quote="flushd"]Well, what a way to ruin a nice thrill for the kid, and the whole point of me packaging it seperately, y'know? The whole idea on my end was to for him to have something special just for himself, and his own little responsibility and such, and so he wouldn't feel left out when mom and dad gets their own mail.
It's part of being a 'big kid' - at least I thought.

As you've probably picked up, I am big on privacy. Grew up with so little, I really treasure it and think of it as a valuable resource that is to be protected tooth n nail. [/quote]

I am totally with you on this...
I don't think my friend opens her children's mail.
And I think they open my parcels, because they know I always send sweets.
Not sure, if they open all her mail.

I really think, that she is not bothered, that's why I won't discuss it with her any further, than the vibrator comment.
Now at least she knows how I feel about it.