Is there really such a thing as unconditional love?

Re: Is there really such a thing as unconditional love?


I had always considered that those who claim to hold unconditional love for someone to be in about the same boat. You may not approve of their acts (you may even despise them for those acts) but you still retain love for the person.

I would think it was odd for someone to continue to embrace and associate with someone who's actons that strongly disapprove of.

Well, who knew this wasn't a hot button?

I appreciate your answer, fishin...maybe there's not a lot to be said on this topic (one hopes).

no

uh huh, uh uh, er uh ... thanks.

This sounds like a polemic.

not to mention a mishmash of what love means.

At its most basic, love can encompass the person who does horrible stuff.

Wait, I may argue more or against that. Back later.

Mame, my answer is exactly the same as fishin's

I was thinking about this yesterday when I read that the jury had pronounced a local kid--18 at the time of the shooting--guilty of second degree murder. His drug dealer wouldn't sit still and be robbed, so the kid shot and killed him.

The crime was predictably sordid and the testimony equally so. According to the murderer, everyone was telling lies and while he had the gun he didn't mean to kill anyone and....

Really, he wasn't a very nice kid. His mother broke down into tears and told the reporter that he was her son and she would love him forever.

Of course, she created this ethically deprived child (and he was a child).

I have several stepsons who are not an advertisement for parenthood. In spite of the lying and petty theft and despicable treatment of their children Mr. Noddy loves them anyway. I lock up the good silver when they're in town.

I think Unconditional Love that just sprawls around adoring a wrong-doing child is idiotic. Love--if that is your nature--but lock up the good silver if you don't want to lose it.

Love is not the same as need, loyalty, admiration, approval, or support.
To me, those are completely separate from love.

I would love to know violent people, why they are violent, what they think, feel and go through, because it's good to know those things. I certainly wish them well. I hope they get better, more able to function well with people.

But even if I can't stand to be around them, and disapprove of them entirely, I'm still a very greedy person. Being greedy means that I want the best for myself, which is fundamentally the same as what's best for society and other people. Which means love - appreciating what there is.

Being unconditional is easy. The source of love is inside me, my own sense of curiosity and wanting to know things, without depending on anything on the outside.

I hate the taste of lima beans but I love that they exist.
Without the failed experiments, there wouldn't be any successful ones.

Sorry to be so existential, but most people abuse the word "love" horribly, and I hate that (in an unconditionally loving sort of way).

True. Honest. And so what?

My first thought was 'a puppy'. When I thought about my answer I realized the reason for the unconditional love is that a puppy is blind to it's owner's flaws.
So unconditional love is possible only if you can look up to it's recipient, not down upon.

As some of you may know, I'm one of 10 children. We are a wide varied lot of personalities and ethics. I will never speak to my brother again, be in his presence or in any way have anything to do with him. He has stoelen, mamed, lied to and been agressive towards every member of our family. I don't tolerate that, and won't likely change my mind about it. We were raised by the same parents, so I don't understand the differences outside of innate personality types.

My Mom didn't speak to him for years after he broke into her home and stole some things. A few years ago she called and said she was back in touch with him. She asked what I thought, did I think she was stupid? I told her that as a parent I certainly understand. I can't imagine turning out one of my children and that i know that heart string connection. However, don't ever forget what you are dealing with and don't be surprised if this dog bites again.

They now live close to each other. He is doing some work on her house. They have their ins and outs. I fear for her sometimes, but I also understand her desire to try to make things different for the sake of her child.

As far as unconditional love - parent child is the only situation I can think of in which I could apply it. (well, that and a puppy)

I'm an only child and quite frankly after observing other people's families including squinney's I'm greatful for it.

I was raised pretty much alone until my mom finally shitcanned me and I went to live permanently with my Aunt and grandparents where I also had two older cousins. In my family love or no love, if you behaved in a way that the adults didn't like you were told so and invited to get the hell out or straighten up. This was my paternal family. I won't even mention my maternal family because they are not family, just mean spirited strangers.

Because I was imbedded with a family of mad sports fanatics and I was a musician with no interest in sports I was treated like a defective freak.

So I agree with squinney that outside of one's children i don't believe in unconditional love period and even with my children if they insisted on behaving in a dispespectful way, or stole from me, or otherwise put the rest of the family at risk or just made them miserable in general they'd have to go. If they were old enough of course.

I recently had a run in with one of my cubs who informed me that at 18 they were going to move out and I couldn't stop them. I informed this cub that he/she ( I don't want to mention particulars) was absolutely right, I couldn't stop them from moving out but i could damn sure stop them from moving back in, and advised them to think about it.

It's all straightened out now.

BP, thats called tough love ..... I got a dose at 17 and took the highway.The first thing I thought about when I heard the term tough love was my dad .... then I understood... about twenty years too late.

Sometimes the best thing for everyone is to stay away, or to firmly say "no more crap".
That sounds like unconditional love to me, not bought or sold, but independent of any event or situation, going for what's best.



We're not talking about swooning, helpless romance here. Mushy love is more like a hypnotic state that suspends reality for a while.

"Unconditional Love" used to be sanctioned by the church--at least for women. "I know he hit me, but underneath he really loves me."

Hey, I resemble that remark!

Oops! Sorry.

I love you.

Really.

I don't really understand what "unconditional" means here. When I am feeling love or hatred at any particular moment it is, in a psychological sense, unqualified (is that it?) AT THAT MOMENT.
Nietzsche one said that one must be able to love his enemies (because enmity and hatred are not the same thing) and hate his beloved (because it is natural to be angry to the point of temporary hatred with people you normally love).

Good question, JL... Since I posed the question, I'll tell you how I mean it. I'm using it in the sense that no matter what they do, you love and support them. Period. You would love them regardless of their heinous or callous or whatever "offences"...

Does this help?