Happily married husband with weird fantasies.

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Don't know what's been going on with me the last couple of years, but I'm becoming addicted to women in nylon stockings and high heels. I'm talking about the old fashion type nylon stocking that needs to be worn with garter belt etc. I'm a 52 year old happily married man and I've always been what people would say normal and happy go lucky type of guy. I've been married 26 years to my wife who is still beautiful and thankfully will wear the stockings and heels to add a little spice to our sex life. She knows this turns me on tremendously. So everything is ok you say.....right ? Not at all, because now, I'm asking her to wear them every time we go out which isn't so bad in itself, but I also ask her to "accidentally" flash her stocking tops to strange men when we go to piano bars or whatever. I know this is weird, but why do I get a charge out of putting my wife on display like that ?? I have even fantasized of seeing her make love to other men with me there to help or watch. With her permission, I have even posted some sexy pics of her to strangers on sex forums (not showing her face though) She allowed me to post the pics, but I know she really doesn't approve of it much. I think she hopes it will will satisfy my fantasy and I will put it to rest eventually. If anything, it has gotten me even more set on the idea of sharing her because many men have written me and told me their desires for her. To me, this is not normal behavior for a man who is "stable" or at least I think I am, plus I love my wife to death and I would be just devastated if she were to leave me for another man. I've searched the net and found a word for this type of behavior and it's apparently called "Cuckold" which means for a husband to be submissive and watch his wife make love to another man while they both humiliate the husband. The only difference is, I don't want to be humiliated by nobody. I just feel it would be extremely erotic to share my wife with another man while she is wearing sexy lingerie like the stockings and heels etc. Are there any other men out there who know or experience this form of lifestyle or am I alone in this.
I even went to a shrink to see if I was normal, and she tells me it's just fantasy and leave it at that. My wife is understanding, and says she's ok with the nylon stocking request, but would have a hard time doing the Cuckold thing for me. The best she has offered so far is to allow another man to "watch" her and I make love in the same room (but I haven't done anything to set that up yet) as I want to make sure I won't be hurting my marriage if I were to set it up with someone. Then again, how does one go about setting something like that up ?
Anyway, I just thought I'd spew my guts out here, seeing it's not the type of thing I would ever want to ask someone in person.
I'd be really interested in reading what some of you have to say. I'm sure I'll get some feedback about being a sick S.O.B but that's par for the course I guess. Thanks for taking the time.

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Whatever floats your boat is fine with me. If both people are adults and agree to something it shouldn't be anybody else's business.

I'm not sure where someone would go to set up something like that but you might try Craigslist.org.

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Where's Slappy when you need him?

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You might want to look up a sex advice column called "Savage Love" online. I don't think cuckold fantasies always involve humiliation of the husband, and it's not really that out there (there are certainly odder things that people like!). It definitely doesn't have to ruin your marriage or anything, as long as you both communicate openly about what your boundaries are and make sure you are both comfortable with them.

Anyway, Savage Love has done quite a few columns dealing with this; might be helpful for both of you to explore the topic, possible problems, etc.

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The doctor on "Loveline" always used to say a threesome was the kiss of death to a relationship, but then he wasn't dealing with people who'd been married for 20-odd years, either.

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I still think the loveline doc is right, it probably would be the "kiss of death",
DrewDad.

It seems your wife is doing a lot of things to please you Legzlover, and I am wondering what you do for her? She's not your property, thus having her
share with another man would be something she needs to wholeheartedly agree to, and I am not so sure she would, except if pressured by you.

The chance that she finds someone else more appealing and less demanding, is a good probability. If you play with flames, you might be in for an uncontrollable fire. Are you prepared for that?

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Legzlover - Once you posted pictures of her on the internet, you have taken your fantasy out of the "thinking" to the "doing" stage. I agree with Jane that you are travelling a rocky road. It does not sound that your wife is too cool with this.....................seems to me that she is indulging you, up to a point. I also get the sense that you are acting in an extremely self centered manner, with little concern about your wife's feelings.

You have been with this woman for 26 years. At fifty two, you are probably going through a bit of a mid-life crisis. If you don't want to screw up what you have, I would suggest that you back off, and keep your fantasies between you and your wife, and in your home. As soon as another person enters the mix, there could be all sorts of ramifications, some that that might cause the death knell of your marriage.

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Phoenix32890 wrote:

Legzlover - Once you posted pictures of her on the internet, you have taken your fantasy out of the "thinking" to the "doing" stage. I agree with Jane that you are travelling a rocky road. It does not sound that your wife is too cool with this.....................seems to me that she is indulging you, up to a point. I also get the sense that you are acting in an extremely self centered manner, with little concern about your wife's feelings.

You have been with this woman for 26 years. At fifty two, you are probably going through a bit of a mid-life crisis. If you don't want to screw up what you have, I would suggest that you back off, and keep your fantasies between you and your wife, and in your home. As soon as another person enters the mix, there could be all sorts of ramifications, some that that might cause the death knell of your marriage.

I can honestly understand what you are saying, but believe me (or my wife) I am by no means a self centered person, especially when it comes to my wife. There isn't a thing I wouldn't do for her (even die) so as much as you may think that's the type of person I am, I would have to disagree.
That said however, I can see why you would accuse me of that, so no hard feelings from me.
Let's face it, if I was a self centered person, I wouldn't be trying to understand this problem by going on a public forum such as this and opening myself up for ridicule. Truth is, I care very much about my wife, and her feelings. I would never, and I mean "NEVER" do anything to scar her emotionally and of course physically. She is my very best friend, and I plan on staying with her to my last breath. I agree that she is a bit reluctant about doing this, but all she has to do is give me a definite no, and it will stop there. If the role were reverse, or if she asked me to do something that I found hard to do, I am almost positive I would do it for her if I knew it meant that much to her, regardless of what it was. As long as it's legal and doesn't have anything to do with little kids, I would probably do anything she would ask.
Obviously, from what I've said so far, it seems that I'm more open sexually than my wife, yet, my wife is usually more often than none the aggressor sexually speaking. In fact, when we met all those years ago, it was her that made the play for me, as I was just to damn bashful. Plus I never would have thought such a lovely woman would want to have anything to do with the likes of me, especially back then. Somehow she saw through me and was really the only true person in my life that ever seem to know and understand me.
I guess the best thing to do is to continue speaking openly to my wife about this problem and see what happens. I am a firm believer of couples who can have honest open communication. After that, I'll respect her decision either way. I was just basically curious to see if any other men (or women) had this kind of problem and how they handled it.
Thank you all for your opinions.

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Legzlover,

You refer to this situation as a problem. I think the fact that you get turned on by garters, stockings and heels is very sexy. That a man appreciates those "garments" is sexy !! If you keep it between the two of you -- inside your own four walls, it can (obviously) add much to your relationship.

The "problem," as I read it from you, is perhaps your need (obsession?) to graduate to more taboo arenas, inviting strangers into extremely intimate settings.

Sounds like a form of voyeurism. My question is, if you cross the line now with sharing your wife with another man, while you observe from a distance, what's the next "fix"? When that gets old, what will it take to satisfy you?

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Quote:

I agree that she is a bit reluctant about doing this, but all she has to do is give me a definite no, and it will stop there.

Legzlover - You have sensed that she is reluctant, yet you are throwing the responsibility on her to make the decision. You have her between a rock and a hard place. I would bet that she is feeling very conflicted, wanting to satisfy you, and yet not really wanting to do something that is against her. That is not fair of you.

IMO, if you sense a reluctance, back off. Otherwise you are simply manipulating her to do what she does not want to do. Then when there are ramifications, you could always say that she agreed. NOT FAIR....................and not very adult of you!

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This thread is worthless without pics.

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Phoenix32890 wrote:

Quote:
I agree that she is a bit reluctant about doing this, but all she has to do is give me a definite no, and it will stop there.

Legzlover - You have sensed that she is reluctant, yet you are throwing the responsibility on her to make the decision. You have her between a rock and a hard place. I would bet that she is feeling very conflicted, wanting to satisfy you, and yet not really wanting to do something that is against her. That is not fair of you.

IMO, if you sense a reluctance, back off. Otherwise you are simply manipulating her to do what she does not want to do. Then when there are ramifications, you could always say that she agreed. NOT FAIR....................and not very adult of you!

I have backed off Phoenix, which is why I am here inquiring on this forum. I don't know why you feel the urge to dig your teeth into me and not let go. I have said nothing rude or disrespective to you or any other person here, yet you just want to lambaste me because you don't like the problem I'm having and think I am forcing my wife to do something she doesn't want to do. This is definitely not the case, as I mentioned before, I would never force her to do anything she wasn't comfortable with nor do I like to play head games. My wife is way to smart to be sucked into any immature head game I could conjure up.
She is the one that brings the subject up that she would like to fulfill my fantasy, but has admitted to being reluctant about the idea, and has asked me if there was some way I could help her get a little more comfortable with the whole thing. I've already told her that if she's really not comfortable with trying it, maybe we should back off and that I may have to just let this pass. As far as if there were ramifications afterwards I would never accuse her of having agreed to it and try to blame her for my mistake or to protect my ego, so you can chill on that one. You obviously don't know me or my wife, and I am starting to resent your accusations. I'm not totally sure at this point if it's you or I that is behaving in a non adult manner. I'm just being honest and wide eyed at this point.
I came to this forum to get some "friendly" advice and the perhaps help me understand this problem, whether it be positive or negative, friendly is the key word. Shooting someone you don't know down is the easiest thing in the world to do, and doesn't require much intelligence in my opinion.
Have a good day.

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Legzlover - You asked a question, and a replied as best as I could, given the information that I had. I don't think that I was "digging my teeth into you" at all. I wasn't accusing you of anything, except not considering the possible negative negative outcomes of turning your fantasies into reality.

My motivation was to help you to see the issue from a light that you might not have considered. That is all!

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Well, I don't think your a "sick SOB" but I do think you need to remember that once you act out a fantasy, you can't take it back.

Imagining your wife with another man might sound exciting but think about it in real terms. How you'd look at her afterwards. What would your sex life be after?

The stocking thing is fine, if your wife is fine with it. We all have our little quirks and things that get us off and that's totally normal, provided your partner is a willing and happy participant.

I'd steer clear of adding another person to your sex life. In the moment it might be exicting and fun but when reality checks back in, I think you'll just see a man who screwed your wife and a wife who screwed another man. Life isn't a movie and like I said, once you do it, you can't take it back.

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Maybe you enjoy the prospect of humilaiting your wife? I honestly don't know her thoughts and feelings about it: but the idea of her screwing another man in front of you sounds more humiliating for her than for you.

Y'know, the whole 'taboo' of your otherwise respectable wife acting like a 'whore'. That's a turn on for a lot of people.
And it kind of ties in with the kicks you are getting by encouraging your wife to quick flash strangers, and to be lusted over by strangers on the internet.

Just a thought. I know the idea of screwing another man in front of the guy I care about is humiliating to myself, and I don't think I'm alone on that.

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you're overthinking it. If it feels good either do it or masturbate while you think about doing it, drop the guilt and go on with your life.

Sometimes great urges, like great art, just have to be allowed to flow over you, and you just go with the flow.

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Bear will be right over in his fishnets.

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Bi-Polar Bear wrote:

you're overthinking it. If it feels good either do it or masturbate while you think about doing it, drop the guilt and go on with your life.

But if you follow this mantra, you will find yourself needing more and more exotic stimulation to feel pleasure until eventually it is out of your grasp entirely.

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Thank you all for your replies. I have studied all of your answers and will gladly consider everything that has been said here. I've decided not to pursue the matter with my wife, unless she brings it up again. And if she does, I will tell her that if she's not 100% totally comfortable with the idea or it simply goes against her grain, we will not to it PERIOD. That said, should she decide she's ok with it (with no guilt trip from me) then I guess what two "consenting" adults do behind closed doors is their own business.
Once again, thank you all (and I do mean all) for your replies and advice, positive or negative. Smile

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Legzlover wrote:

I guess what two "consenting" adults do behind closed doors is their own business.

Yes but feel free to tell us all about it Laughing

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Happily married husband with weird fantasies.

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