Lack of sex drive

What game? Masturbation is masturbation is masturbation!

Someone stop Jane! She seems to be losing control.

Yeah, but I'd like to be able to beat my current record, which is 53 hours, 12 minutes.

I like your blithe tone.

Seriously, if there are techniques that help in this endeavor, I am all ears.

I guess I'm still looking for some advice on the issue..........

Since puberty embarked upon you? That would be twice a year - yeah,
you can beat that, kicky!

What issue? That you feel guilty for thinking of someone else while you're having sexytime with your hubby? You shouldn't. People fantasize all the time. It's normal. There. Issue solved. And about your husband's staying power...you said he's doing some things that are helping, so I'm not sure what the problem is there, if there is one at all.

The only thing I get from your post that causes me some concern is that you seem to WANT to stray, or at least you are toying with the idea. That seems like your real issue. And to that, I say, don't.

Now, how about coming through with one or two of those sexytime relaxation techniques?

What did I say that makes you think that I'm thinking of straying? I'm not doing it on a conscious level that I know of. I guess that's why I'm asking if those fantasies I have point to some underlying desire for that fling I had before I met my husband. I'm a completely different person now from what I was then....do you think, if unresolved, my desires could somehow be fulfilled if I should meet someone I find attractive? Most of the one night stands I had were fueled by alchohol and partying...

Re: Lack of sex drive


Don't overthink fantasies. They're fantasies. Not a big deal, so long as you don't act on them (as Green Witch noted).

and I noted even before that.... but no respect for the Bear. I don't need this abuse.

Yes, yes, Bear noted it too. I think Kicky did also. There there.

too late to backpeddle now... I'm crushed and my self esteem has received a mortal wound.... and btw my avatar is prettier than yours....

If you change your avatar your self esteem will get an immediate boost, I'm tellin' ya. I think the "O" one is particularly nice...

Kimmy--

Welcome to A2K.



Don't borrow trouble. Focus on solving the problem.

I could be reading things into your post that aren't there. I gather that you are unsatisfied sexually because of your husband's lack of staying power.

I also gather that you are concerned with his staying power--and his ego--and he is concerned with his staying power--and his ego.

He's getting attention from you--and you're unsatisfied sexually. You feel more than a little left out in bedroom satisfaction and marital concern?

In the past you've known men who could satisfy you in bed. You didn't choose to marry them because they didn't satisfy you out of bed and you are savvy enough to know there is more to a life together than bed sports.

Because of your experience, you figure that the problem isn't "your fault". Ok. Fine. Not-your-fault. BUT: Your lack of satisfaction is a problem the two of you share. He can't improve without feedback--and you certainly don't want to turn him loose to get feedback from a friendly floozy.

Life in bed isn't fair, sometimes. Life out-of-bed isn't fair, sometimes.
Bed problems can be solve. Worthless men can only be discarded. You've got a good guy.

Yeah, and you'd like to be there, wouldn't you, gus?